As someone who got to watch the progression of CounterStrike and the direction its servers went, I can sympathize. Too many server owners turned out to be the whiners about campers and high powered weapons, and thus forbade either in their server. I could have started my own server, but what chance did I have to get players, as with that game people wanted to find populated games, and most gamers usually go to just what shows up first in the list, either without paying attention to the rules, or just not caring.
However, I look at this as a clear opportunity to give console players more choices for their buck. In the past, consoles had fewer choices as far as what tweaks or mods their games could undergo to the game rules. Now we see more customization becoming available to console players, and the one of the first reactions is that customization is going to be bad and will ruin the game. Oh well. If you are such a purist and want to keep playing vanilla, pony up the $30 to rent your own server. If you are so certain that your gaming friends are with you on this, then you should have no worries. Want more players? Advertise your server on message boards and Reddit. Of course you run the risk of getting griefers and the like, but risk is part of anything that you feel should be worth getting.
If you feel you can't afford $30 to rent a server, then your gaming lifestyle isn't as strong as you like to portray it as, and therefore your opinion lacks a lot of foundation. A lot of gaming servers are supported by groups of people chipping in to maintain the server. Forever Alone doesn't win you accolades in the 'I want it this way!' column. Either you do have a lot of gaming friends willing to support the chance to play vanilla Battlefield 3, or you take the time to figure that maybe the good fight you felt should be fought isn't so good anymore. After all, it's not like your single player game is being affected.