Editor's Note: Learning From Failure

[Vortigar]

Very nice piece Russ.
Thanks for sharing.

To quote Neil Gaiman:
"Is it that hard to fail? Is it really so terrifying to fall?"
"Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly."

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I find myself in similar straits. Filled with doubt about myself and my abilities, unsure if I'm enjoying what I do and almost completely paralyzed when I think about taking another step. This affects me both in my work and social life.

It's not exactly fear that holds me back its more like doubt, imaginings of the unknown, good and bad alike. One of the factors is that I've never learned how to work for something, never struggled to reach something. I also think I've never made a meaningful choice for myself in my life because I've always been steered or supported. And now I find myself depending upon others because I've never learned anything but academic knowledge, instead of something with practical use.

I've failed twice now, one job and one relationship. I'm currently in the process of picking myself up and am plagued by the above. It's hard but I'm determined not to let myself strand at this juncture. Everybody's saying it'll get better, that I'll find something and someone I like. At this point I wish I was as convinced as they are but I soldier on regardless, self-loathing be damned.

 

[CatmanStu]

I thought the 'fail early' comment was the most insightful. I am coming up on 39 years of age and have suddenly decided I want to make use of the illustration skills I have had since childhood and my indoctrinated mind keeps forecasting hardship and failure. I am enlightened enough to know that all success (and failure) is relative and have unquestioning belief in my ability but a lifetime of hard work for minimum reward has developed an apathy towards effort.
I think what I am trying to say, is that how we handle success is as important as how we handle failure, or more accurately; there is no such thing as success or failure only stagnation and degrees of improvement.

I guess that explains why most of the games I play have no scoring system.

 

[mattaui]

The key is to adequately challenge yourself, and not wait around for others to do it. I believe the problem with underachievers is a combination of behavioral and educational factors, but whenever I've tried to drill down on it, it's become a matter of properly taking oneself to task. It's so easy to say, hey, I'll just get by with the minimum amount because my minimum is good enough, and isn't it great that I can just coast on by while all these other suckers have to work hard at it!

The problem is that, ultimately, you leave yourself unfulfilled and underutilized. Sometimes failure doesn't look quite so obvious as getting fired and moving back in with your parents, but could actually look a lot like marginal success. We all know inside ourselves, however, the decisions we've made and the risks we did or didn't take, and whether or not we're living up to what we believe our potential really is.

 

[Sartan0]

Something to keep in mind! Dastardly's comments are also great.

 

[knhirt]

I'd like to say "thanks" to both Russ Pitts and Mr. Dastardly.
I've had my fair share of failures in life, and I give up too quickly. I've had a guitar in my bedroom, for instance, that's been gathering dust for a few months. I love music, but I find it so difficult to push myself through the initial phase of not being able to play much of anything nice at all.
My other passion is to draw, but giving up when faced with (something I deem to be) a bad drawing is just so easy.

I'm going to read these posts over a few more times, really let the words sink in. I feel more motivated not to give up.
Again, thank you.

 

[Agent Cross]

Editor's Note: Learning From Failure

Through failure, we learn at least two things: how to fail and how not to succeed.

*Applauds* So many people push an idea so far, only to be discouraged, when they really only need to step it up one more notch to succeed. I hope many of the younger Escapist read this and really take it to heart.

Great quotes... Here's my favorite though. "I didn't fail, I found 2,000 ways how not to make a light bulb; I only need to find one way to make it work." - Thomas Edison