Editor's Note: Why I Still Call Myself a Gamer

ThunderCavalier

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Remember when games used to be about playing them and having fun? Yeah, I'd like that to come back.

I do not agree with a lot of people that suffer abuse, Anita in particular, but I don't agree with the abuse that she gets as a result of her work. I personally do not agree with it, and I take issue with some things that she says, but the crap she has to go through paints all of us in a bad light.

Criticism is the beauty of discussion. Abuse is the lowest level of scum. I do wish some thickheads of the Internet would get that through their... um... head.
 

Drummodino

Can't Stop the Bop
Jan 2, 2011
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Well said. I'm glad to see some good come out of this whole controversy. Extremists on every side have made this whole thing toxic and disgusting but honestly if this is what we get out of it, I will be happy.

Keep up the good work Greg and team.
 

geizr

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PREAMBLE: Apologies for the rambling wall-of-text crit to the eyeballs.

On the issue of all gamers being lumped together, that is an unfortunate consequence of human psychology and perception. The good gets mixed in with the bad, and the entire bundle gets perceived as bad. We know that the rational truth is that it's only a handful of bad apples, but, because they are the most vocal apples in the bunch, rationality often gets lost and truth distorted. We can't hide from the fact these deviant individuals exist within the community; we can't pretend there is not a negative side to our community and that it is not included as a part of us. We're all together in this, like it or not.

To this end, and I definitely agree with you quite strongly that the onus is on the community, in my opinion, it is critically important for the community, as a whole, to take strict, decisive, and stringent measures to make it clear and unambiguous that hateful, harassing, and personally threatening behavior can not and will not be tolerated to any degree. Further, the community, in my opinion, needs to find a way to levy some tangible punishment upon the perpetrators to drive this point home. Essentially, the community needs to have a means of enforcing the more positive, mature, and sociable behaviors that we would prefer to see and deterring the toxic, abusive behaviors we don't want to see.

The gaming community, in my opinion, should be an environment for fun, quality social interaction with games as the platform over which that interaction occurs. Our community is extremely diverse, perhaps the most diverse of all social circles. But further, it is a community full of people who have known abuse, bullying, and threatening harassment directly and personally. Thus, it is galling that there would be those who seek to bring exactly such behavior into the community and poison the entirety of the community, inflicting on others the very trauma which they themselves may be suffering (yes, I do understand how those who are hurting will often seek to hurt others; however, in my opinion, that does not at all excuse the behavior). Because of our diversity and personal histories, in my opinion, it is critical that we be more tolerant of the voices, opinions, and preferences of others without the need for toxicity and personal threats. (All these X vs. Y and "my electronic device beats-up your electronic device" tech-religious wars within the community need to stop; yeah, many hate Call of Duty, but a lot of people clearly love playing the game. Let them enjoy it without the crap. If you don't like it, you don't have to play it. Play what you enjoy, let them play what they enjoy, and just move on.) It is critical that we be able to interact with one another in a manner that fosters enlightenment, enjoyment, and edification, rather than trying to tear each other down at every possible moment for every possible little imperfection. And should disagreement occur, which it will because we are different human beings, we need to be able to disagree without being disagreeable.

In any group, conflict is inevitable. This is simply a truth of human beings. The proper path is not the avoiding of conflict; the proper path is knowing how to resolve conflict in a mature , calm, rational, and mutually respectful manner. Often conflict arises as a result of simple miscommunication or a simple mistake. We have to be able to recognize the miscommunication and take measures to clarify the matter without having to resort to personal attacks (such as calling someone an idiot) or threats. Mistakes happen, because we are only human; so, we need to be more tolerant when someone makes a mistake and not sear them with a barrage of personal attacks and threats for their mistake.

I agree, whole-heartedly, that we need to constantly keep in mind that there is another person on the other side of that screen. The rules of human social interaction and etiquette are still 100% applicable online for that very reason. Our words and actions affect them every bit as much as their words and actions affect us. Slow down and take the time to think before you post. Think about your words: how would you feel if someone said to you what you're about to say to someone else? Take the time, especially in a forum because you're not conversing in real-time, to read over your words and give some thought to them. If the words you're about to post were directed at you, how would it make you feel? How would you react? What would pass through your mind? Would you still be having fun in the game if you had to deal with people treating you the way you're about to treat someone else?

I know I'm probably preaching to the choir here, but, we're gamers too. That means we need to take the ideal of creating a better gaming community with us wherever we go and be willing to stand up against the terrible toxic behaviors wherever we might find it. The movement starts small with but a handful of individuals. But, in time, it has the ability to grow and become so much bigger. The ideal can spread as others learn of it and seek it. What starts with but 1 person eventually becomes 2, and 2 becomes 3. In time, 3 becomes 5, then 5 becomes 8, and so on.

It is my belief that much of the toxic behavior we have seen on the Internet in general is because we have let the Internet remain that way for too long. It originated at some point in the past, and those who come into it become immersed within that pool of toxicity and become poisoned to think that this is just the normal course. That being toxic and harassing is just the way you're supposed to be. There is insufficient counter to demonstrate that the behavior is, in fact, not normal and not tolerable. But, that's where 1 must become 2 and 2 must become 3, and so on, to reverse the general toxicity of the Internet, to let others know that this is not the way things are to be. It starts with one voice, but if others are willing to take up the mantle of that voice, it can spread. Eventually, the game community, and one would hope the Internet, in general, can become more the wonderful community that we would like for it to be, without all the toxicity.
 

irishda

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The actions throughout "Gamergate" have only hardened the belief I've held ever since internet multiplayer became viable: that the overall community of "gamers" and the journalism industry around it is a toxic, childish place. A game developer and journalists act like petulant children when people criticize them. The gaming community is full of equally childish people. Neither treat women or racial minorities with much respect. Hell, the ED article on this is full of references to Zoe that many people claimed no one was making about her (i.e. she's a slut, talentless, slept her way to the "top", that her "white knights" are covering for her). Hell I'm willing to bet most of the deleted threads from Reddit and whatnot are because they devolve into exactly the kind of vitriol you see whenever gamers hate a woman *cough*Anita Sarkeesian*cough*. And you know, I think it's because of what I see at the heart of it: the identity of "gamer".

In no other hobby do I see this level of outrage at EVERYTHING, and I don't know how Greg doesn't see it, since I got it from these forums. Colonial Marines, EA, Bioware (Dragon Age AND Mass Effect), Always Online, DRM, DLC, game prices, Steam Greenlight, AAA games, indie games, the type of games that are popular, the type of games OTHER people want to be popular, framerates, definitions, games being too short, games being too long, games being too easy, games being too hard, free-to-play, pay-to-win, when a game isn't well-reviewed, when a game IS well-reviewed, there's literally nothing that gamers don't complain about and complain about with force (how many times a day do we see "Death of the industry?") Honestly, I'd rather the term "gamer" does die.

This is a hobby, entertainment, maybe even an art in some cases. This is not and shouldn't be "life" for anyone who's income doesn't depend on it. Why? When it's a hobby, when I'm discussing this hobby with like-minded friends, we don't care what Kotaku rated it. We don't care what score it got on metacritic. Those become just numbers. Review articles are read because we enjoy the writer's voice, not because we're looking for validation or vindication. Criticism is evaluated with an objective eye, or at worst, indifference. It's not an identity anymore, so an attack on it isn't an attack on the self. If Greg here wants to still call himself a gamer, that's fine. But I've seen what happens when people treat this as an identity. I don't want any part of that.

TL;DR: Changing a belief is tricky. People die for it; people kill for it. Keep gaming an idea. Changing an idea is easier.
 

Fappy

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irishda said:
I totally get where you are coming from but I think you're focusing too much on the negative characteristics of the so-called "gamer". As you pointed out, the crux of the issue lies in what being a gamer means to the individual. When it becomes too central to your identity, and you need to validate your choices/opinions in regards to it, you've clearly taken it too far. However, I don't think identifying yourself as a gamer means you've taken it beyond a hobby.

Personally, I have a lot of hobbies, but I still consider myself a gamer (in both the video game and tabletop sense of the word).

EDIT: I am frustrated about the whole thing too and have been struggling with my perception of the community as a whole, but I don't want a few anonymous assholes to dictate how I should define myself. I don't blame you for consciously distancing yourself from all this shit, however.
 

ACman

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And yet there is a lively discussion thread on how "feminists" need to "step off" the hobby of gaming.

Freedom of speech is something the US government is Constitutionly bound to afford the media and individuals. It is not a thing that media or individuals are bound to afford each other.

There is no reason that the Escapist need to provide safe harbor for the misogynistic, homophobic or transphobic mumurings (undercover of ethics scandals, whataboutism regarding regarding percieved "racism" against whites or men being sexually assaulted sometimes) disussions that spill out of 4chan or neogaf or /r/gaming. The fact that Escapist comments policy allows such comments as long as they are couched in "civilised" language is a disgrace.

Moderate. Please. Towards positivity and inclusivity.

I don't need to see another thread on how Anita Saarkessian is "ruining the games industry". She's not. She doesn't have the power to even if she wanted to. Which she doesn't. Unless you think pointing out potentially problematic gaming cliches and asking for slightly more inclusivity is "ruining the games industry". And if you think that, you are an asshole and should be shown the door.
 

irishda

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Fappy said:
irishda said:
I totally get where you are coming from but I think you're focusing too much on the negative characteristics of the so-called "gamer". As you pointed out, the crux of the issue lies in what being a gamer means to the individual. When it becomes too central to your identity, and you need to validate your choices/opinions in regards to it, you've clearly taken it too far. However, I don't think identifying yourself as a gamer means you've taken it beyond a hobby.

Personally, I have a lot of hobbies, but I still consider myself a gamer (in both the video game and tabletop sense of the word).

EDIT: I am frustrated about the whole thing too and have been struggling with my perception of the community as a whole, but I don't want a few anonymous assholes to dictate how I should define myself. I don't blame you for consciously distancing yourself from all this shit, however.
I'd like to believe it's a few, but there's a reason I usually mute everyone for online games. There's a reason I'm not friends with people on Steam or Blizzard. And there's a reason I don't frequent a lot of forums. Hell, I only signed up here because of that forum trivia game they had a long time ago (and another one would be very welcome!). I used to just come here to watch Yahtzee and read the latest Critical Miss (maybe MovieBob if it wasn't a Marvel movie). It's more the internet than anything else I think. I'm willing to bet half the people that threaten journalists or Anita or Zoe or whoever wouldn't do or say jack if they were looking right at them. It's tiring for me to see, so I just put it away and enjoy games.
 

Fappy

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irishda said:
Fappy said:
irishda said:
I totally get where you are coming from but I think you're focusing too much on the negative characteristics of the so-called "gamer". As you pointed out, the crux of the issue lies in what being a gamer means to the individual. When it becomes too central to your identity, and you need to validate your choices/opinions in regards to it, you've clearly taken it too far. However, I don't think identifying yourself as a gamer means you've taken it beyond a hobby.

Personally, I have a lot of hobbies, but I still consider myself a gamer (in both the video game and tabletop sense of the word).

EDIT: I am frustrated about the whole thing too and have been struggling with my perception of the community as a whole, but I don't want a few anonymous assholes to dictate how I should define myself. I don't blame you for consciously distancing yourself from all this shit, however.
I'd like to believe it's a few, but there's a reason I usually mute everyone for online games. There's a reason I'm not friends with people on Steam or Blizzard. And there's a reason I don't frequent a lot of forums. Hell, I only signed up here because of that forum trivia game they had a long time ago (and another one would be very welcome!). I used to just come here to watch Yahtzee and read the latest Critical Miss (maybe MovieBob if it wasn't a Marvel movie). It's more the internet than anything else I think. I'm willing to bet half the people that threaten journalists or Anita or Zoe or whoever wouldn't do or say jack if they were looking right at them. It's tiring for me to see, so I just put it away and enjoy games.
That's a perfectly valid response. And of course, as I am sure you are aware, there are other means in which to explore your hobby outside of online forums and multiplayer communities. I don't think you need to be contributing to the collective voice of the community (as muddied as that can be sometimes) to be considered a gamer. I guess I'm just a masochist XD
 

Fox12

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One website seems to have its finger on the pulse of game culture. This is why I support The Escapist, even when I don't support other sites. It's rational, calm, and modest, and hopefully it will always stay that way. Not just with the editors, but with the whole community. My accolades, sir.
 

Dreiko_v1legacy

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Before those articles declaring all gamers to be manchildren who live in basements and need to die off came out I was apathetic about this whole issue. Those articles were what outraged me and made me get involved. I read more, talked more, tweeted more. The works. I believe this move on their part was the most suicidal act I've ever witnessed.


I am pleased to see that not only small people like me but even someone like the editor in chief of this website shared my feelings. I am happy that I am validated in my outrage. I also appreciate that a small explanation of why these articles were written was provided. It does not excuse them but it at least makes the writers into hurt people rather than the comic book villains they had been emulating up to this point. I can honestly feel bad for them for having been driven to write these articles, though I still thoroughly condemn the choice to do so and still see it as unbelievably dumb.



All in all, thanks for this. Keep it up. We're all gamers and we all love games.
 

Ishal

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You know what, good for you Greg.

I'm glad you felt the same way I did when those articles came out shaming gamers. This is what we need. I'm happy to have read this.

Thanks.
 

V da Mighty Taco

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Fuck, Greg just became a lot more sexy, and I'm not even into men.

The fact that both sides have been flinging genuine harassment (not just people calling criticism harassment either) is one of those things that have pissed me off about this debate since the beginning. Kudos to Greg for actually pointing out the screw-ups from both sides here and requesting all of the bullying to stop.
 

Tsun Tzu

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Greatly appreciate the tone and message, sir.

Thank you for the last bit too. I was worried for a little while that it would just be slanted toward gamers like most other takes on the subject.
 

Callate

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I think you've handled an untenable situation well, Mr. Tito. And if "well" sounds like faint praise, please don't take it as such; I can't even conceive of what an "ideal" response to this whole firestorm would look like. Getting as far as "well" meant taking some chances in places, holding firm in others, exercising and trusting your judgement and having some faith in the basic decency of your readers.

So thank you, most particularly for that faith, and I hope you've seen it rewarded. At this point, I'm honestly just hoping we can get the most irrationally furious parts of the issue behind us.
 

VanQ

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Oct 23, 2009
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A great piece.
One that for once, admits and acknowledges that the harassment has been a two way street. That's really all I wanted to see out of this as well as an improvement in ethical standards. About the only thing keeping me second-guessing this site now is this Critical Distance writer who is quite clearly trying to push the gamers are dead thing.

It would be really nice to know if the Escapist must run those pieces due to some contractual obligations. Though I suppose it might not be wise to disclose such a thing from a legal standpoint.
 

Eri

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Feb 21, 2009
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It's not what I wanted, but it's a start. So thanks for this at least.
 

Sleepy Sol

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VanQ said:
A great piece.
One that for once, admits and acknowledges that the harassment has been a two way street. That's really all I wanted to see out of this as well as an improvement in ethical standards. About the only thing keeping me second-guessing this site now is this Critical Distance writer who is quite clearly trying to push the gamers are dead thing.

It would be really nice to know if the Escapist must run those pieces due to some contractual obligations. Though I suppose it might not be wise to disclose such a thing from a legal standpoint.
It's due to a content partnership with them. The Escapist can't do much about it at the moment since it's syndicated content, but they're not hard to ignore at all.

I'm just glad that we've finally had a bigger voice acknowledge that both sides have engaged in some pretty horrible shit.

The Escapist didn't always hold my faith as well as a number of other sites, but they definitely got bumped up on the ladder today.