Before you click to open the spoiler, I want you, the viewer to think about what you may experience in this review, my writing style may be controversial to you, and I really don't to get probated/suspended/banned. Or worse, offend someone.
That being said, you may not want to read this review if you're a Vietnam vet.
That being said, you may not want to read this review if you're a Vietnam vet.
That's right! But this is a twist, I'm not going to profess my love for all things MW2 like usual, I'm going to use my standard issue time machine to review the next CoD game, ya' know, the one in Vietnam?
Unfortunately, my camera doesn't seem to work in the future, a little message kept popping on screen about time paradox related crap. Whatever. What that means for you, is no CoD Vietnam pictures. Damn.
Story:
The story for "Call of Duty: AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!" is quite modest despite what the name would have you think. It really shows how Vietnam was a useless war and how the soldiers didn't want to fight it; it brought out a very emotional aspect of war that shows that even the toughest of men could be disturbed for life... Nah! I'm just yanking your proverbial chain, the game is so laden with stars and stripes that even Uncle Sam would get a head-ache. The story is that you're part of a squad of men who are separated and from the allied HQ and eventually taken prisoner, the story revolves around you escaping from a Vietcong prison camp and finding your way to HQ, securing enemy intel and secret weapons along the way. It's a very riveting story that shows how awesome America really is. Plus you get to suffer from PTSD in the end of the game, HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! Treyarch really knows how to avoid controversy, let me tell ya'.
Gameplay:
Thanks to Treyarch's "Sunburn Destruction Engine", it's never been easier to find and destroy campers and shameless Nuk- erm.. Agent Orange Boosters. People will be happy to hear that in online and single player modes, players can set traps as both the Vietcong and American military forces.
In addition to being able to set traps, players can also use their weapons to bludgeon enemies to death after your weapon jams for the nineteenth time in a row. That being said, Treyarch is going full force for realism this time, your standard issue M16A1 will jam almost every time you fire it; Treyarch has said that this is merely a precaution to prevent people from only using the M16. So you'll probably end up using the M60 or the SKS-47. Whatever the fuck those are. AK-47 and Thumpers will be making a return as well.
The perk system has been completely overhauled. Treyarch firmly states that it's perks are more realistic and practical than those at Infinity Ward. Treyarch employees then got up and rasberried at the very mention of the name Infinity Ward.
My favorite perks for CoD: AFY were the: Gutbuster Perk, where you make people explode with a single bullet to the abdomen; The "Unlimited Ammo! I AR NOTT A HOZZX0R GUIZE! REELY!" perk, that one is pretty self explanatory; and the Chestburster Perk, where you burst from someone's chest if they kill you, automatically killing them and starting you off with a kill.
Treyarch included a "Create a Perk" system where you pay $150.00 to EA to create any perk you like. Oh, yeah; Activision signed Treyarch over to EA. I would say something bad about EA, but the chip they implanted in my brain prevents me fro- I AM A LOYAL CITIZEN OF EA-ATOPIA.
Graphics and Physics:
The Graphics for this game are marvelous, stupendous and mind blowingly green. Jungles never looked so exotic, using napalm to scorch your foes to death has never been so gratifying, and the "Sunburn Destruction Engine" makes killing dudes and copying popular games so very very simple and fun. I once ran up on a house and fired my Thumper round into it; not only did the whole house explode and everyone in it, but it truly showed the full capabilities of the graphic engine for this game, the fire seemed to singe my eyebrows and make me sweat while the blood and entrails from my enemies splattered and stained everything in a 30 foot radius.
All in all, CoD: AFY is a spectacular game, with many features, so many that I didn't bother covering them all just to save time and keep my poor wrists from experiencing carpal tunnel.
I give CoD: AFY a 9.97/10
Unfortunately, my camera doesn't seem to work in the future, a little message kept popping on screen about time paradox related crap. Whatever. What that means for you, is no CoD Vietnam pictures. Damn.
Story:
The story for "Call of Duty: AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!" is quite modest despite what the name would have you think. It really shows how Vietnam was a useless war and how the soldiers didn't want to fight it; it brought out a very emotional aspect of war that shows that even the toughest of men could be disturbed for life... Nah! I'm just yanking your proverbial chain, the game is so laden with stars and stripes that even Uncle Sam would get a head-ache. The story is that you're part of a squad of men who are separated and from the allied HQ and eventually taken prisoner, the story revolves around you escaping from a Vietcong prison camp and finding your way to HQ, securing enemy intel and secret weapons along the way. It's a very riveting story that shows how awesome America really is. Plus you get to suffer from PTSD in the end of the game, HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! Treyarch really knows how to avoid controversy, let me tell ya'.
Gameplay:
Thanks to Treyarch's "Sunburn Destruction Engine", it's never been easier to find and destroy campers and shameless Nuk- erm.. Agent Orange Boosters. People will be happy to hear that in online and single player modes, players can set traps as both the Vietcong and American military forces.
In addition to being able to set traps, players can also use their weapons to bludgeon enemies to death after your weapon jams for the nineteenth time in a row. That being said, Treyarch is going full force for realism this time, your standard issue M16A1 will jam almost every time you fire it; Treyarch has said that this is merely a precaution to prevent people from only using the M16. So you'll probably end up using the M60 or the SKS-47. Whatever the fuck those are. AK-47 and Thumpers will be making a return as well.
The perk system has been completely overhauled. Treyarch firmly states that it's perks are more realistic and practical than those at Infinity Ward. Treyarch employees then got up and rasberried at the very mention of the name Infinity Ward.
My favorite perks for CoD: AFY were the: Gutbuster Perk, where you make people explode with a single bullet to the abdomen; The "Unlimited Ammo! I AR NOTT A HOZZX0R GUIZE! REELY!" perk, that one is pretty self explanatory; and the Chestburster Perk, where you burst from someone's chest if they kill you, automatically killing them and starting you off with a kill.
Treyarch included a "Create a Perk" system where you pay $150.00 to EA to create any perk you like. Oh, yeah; Activision signed Treyarch over to EA. I would say something bad about EA, but the chip they implanted in my brain prevents me fro- I AM A LOYAL CITIZEN OF EA-ATOPIA.
Graphics and Physics:
The Graphics for this game are marvelous, stupendous and mind blowingly green. Jungles never looked so exotic, using napalm to scorch your foes to death has never been so gratifying, and the "Sunburn Destruction Engine" makes killing dudes and copying popular games so very very simple and fun. I once ran up on a house and fired my Thumper round into it; not only did the whole house explode and everyone in it, but it truly showed the full capabilities of the graphic engine for this game, the fire seemed to singe my eyebrows and make me sweat while the blood and entrails from my enemies splattered and stained everything in a 30 foot radius.
All in all, CoD: AFY is a spectacular game, with many features, so many that I didn't bother covering them all just to save time and keep my poor wrists from experiencing carpal tunnel.
I give CoD: AFY a 9.97/10
