Electric Eels Have "Mind Control" Powers

[Neurotic Void Melody]

The Escapist is doing their darndest to join Kotaku in the "gaming sites that are basically blogs" ranks. I don't mind, personally. I enjoy both in all their "Not really news, just entertainment" glory.

True...else what would we say? We would have a much more dreary comments thread.

 

[ForumSafari]

Why do humans suck so much compared to so many other species? Claws, camouflage, flight, super speed, underwater breathing, mimicry....What do we get? Opposable thumbs. Oooh, go humans. :-(

Humans are one of the best endurance runners in the animal kingdom, over enough ground we can nearly always run an animal to exhaustion. We also heal wounds rapidly compared to a lot of other animals and can survive injuries they wouldn't. We also have a fairly low water requirement compared to other animals and due to our small top-down profile tend to fare better in hot weather.

Also brains.

 

[Denamic]

Why do humans suck so much compared to so many other species? Claws, camouflage, flight, super speed, underwater breathing, mimicry....What do we get? Opposable thumbs. Oooh, go humans. :-(

We've got extreme intelligence and endurance that borders on being a superpower compared to other animals. We can keep going without sleep far, far longer than any other animal on the planet. Only some breeds of dogs can keep up with us, and then only barely. We can make complete recoveries in months from injuries that would be permanently crippling, if not lethal, to other animals, even without modern medicine.

We don't have flashy stuff like an ability to outrun cars, yet, but we're by no means less capable in the bigger picture than other animals.

 

[Aerotrain]

Don't tase me, eelbro!

This is mind control in much the same way a punch to the face is plastic surgery. They can both rearrange your face but they go about it a little differently.

 

[KingsGambit_v1legacy]

Why do humans suck so much compared to so many other species? Claws, camouflage, flight, super speed, underwater breathing, mimicry....What do we get? Opposable thumbs. Oooh, go humans. :-(

True, every other species sunk their creation points into awesome physical murder abilituies or escape abilities. We sunk our points in to int and crazy.


Fast forward a few hundred thousand years... the animals still have their awesome physical abilities. We have a the .44 caliber hollowpoint, the AK47, the muthafuckin Elephant gun and the god damned flamethrower.... WHo's the DPS now bitches!

For a silly post I made I got a surprising number of replies. This one however should receive an award for how much I'm laughing. Made my day.