Embarrassment over being a "gamer"

[LostCrusader]

I had a similar experience with a paper on gender roles in gaming (paper had to be on gender roles in something). I've been a relatively "hardcore" gamer since middle school and have felt a bit of shame when telling someone I'm just meeting that it is my preferred hobby. But with anyone that I know, I am proud of it.

 

[spartan231490]

I never felt embarrassed about video games. I was bullied a lot in middle school(not for playing games, the bullies did as much of that as I did), and after a relatively short time, I realized that I really didn't give a rat's ass what people thought of me. Embarrassment isn't much in my nature though, it takes a lot to embarrass me.

 

[Hazzaslagga]

I have not felt embarrased about playing games before, it's just something i do to a larger extent then others. Just because by some definitions i may be a gamer or nerd, that does not define me.

 

[Halo Fanboy]

I once wrote an essay for college about how the use of continue features had a negative impact in arcade gaming and read to my class. I feel no shame.

 

[Gill Kaiser]

I'm not embarrassed by any of my interests. If people look down on it, I just take it as an indication of their own ignorance.

 

[Shadie777]

I have had one or two of these moments in the past but I have gotten over it. I like games and I like to play them longer then some people but I'm not humiliated over it.
Some people don't see that the effects games have are simply better than most movies and tv programs and provide a better atmosphere for story telling. If they dont understand this then fine, feel proud that you know better than them.

 

[OliverTwist72]

Yes I am a huge gamer, but for the most part I don't talk about it when out and about. Generally, if there are girls there (chicks for you brah-skis) I won't really talk about games. Probably because most girls show no interest in them. I wouldn't say I'm embarrassed about it but I definately don't bring it up in conversation.

Also a lot of people I hang out with are NOT gamers, so why would I start talking about things that they have no interest in. I know some of them game somewhat but only really play the big games out there (Call of Duty, Halo, Madden/Random EA sports title, etc...) and even then I only talk about them a little bit.

I'm not sure why this is, I've definately noticed it tho. My best friends know I'm probably the biggest gamer out there, but if you ask people I hang out with from sports and such I never really talk about it.

Case in point: I was at work talking to a co-worker about Call of Duty, so I was like ok he's a gamer. So I said I like to play RPGs and he said "what's that?" Haha, so my only conversation with him about games is pretty much Call of Duty or Madden.

 

[Fooz]

im not ashamed at all, im doing a game design course so i think that explains a lot, i spend much of my free time playing games etc, they are the next big thing, soon everyone will playing them, one way or another, Apps, console, pc. so im thinking if i can become a part of making such things, i can entertain millions of people (hopefully...)

 

[Sad Face]

I don't share the fact that I'm a gamer with everyone, but I wouldn't say I'm embarrassed or ashamed of it.

Also, with regards to your paper...isn't the class reaction a great example for the project? A quarter of the people straight up laughed about it. That in itself is interesting to me.

 

[Carnagath]

I don't recall ever feeling embarrassed over being a gamer. Most of my friends are hardcore gamers and we do enjoy talking about our common hobby for many hours and over many cups of coffee. As for the girls I meet, most of them tend to show a tentative interest in gaming and are willing to listen to me ramble, so long as I don't overdo it (and I don't). As for the opinions of strangers, I shrug them off as irrelevant with great ease.

 

[TheColdHeart]

When I was at university we did a module on virtual worlds etc and the topic of focus came onto that couple who got married after meeting on Second Life and people who meet via virtual worlds.

My university course was a high ratio girls to guys like 7-1 so when the tutor asked who plays video games out of a class (out of interest/discussion) of about 20 there was only really me who would have classed themselves as a 'gamer' and I said I was a gamer and it was quite an odd feeling, I wasn't 'ashamed' so to speak but I was aware that the people around me were clearly very much 'non-gamers' and were probably judging me slightly from what they know about gamers. Then I had to discuss what games I'd played, if I'd known of people meeting up via gaming etc etc and confirmed yes I have met some utter mentals but I have also met some good friends.

 

[Beryl77]

If I'm together with close friends then I don't mind at all talking about games even if they don't game themselves.
But if I'm talking with people I'm not so close with, for examples classmates, then I am ashamed to admit that I'm a gamer.
I myself don't think it's bad to be a gamer but the sociaty still hasn't accepted games as something equal to books and movies. The general idea of gamers from people who don't play games, is a guy who sits all day alone in his dark basement and plays obsessively childish games and is only wasting his time.
Naturally many people don't like to be compared with that stereotype. They're afraid that when they are together with someone they don't know well, he'll think low of them.

 

[NorthernTrooper]

The only time I feel embarrassed about gaming is when no one else knows what the hell I'm talking about. Then I usually mention COD and they all go omg so gud.

 

[RedEyesBlackGamer]

I've never felt ashamed of playing video games. I think it's because of the environment I grew up in. I started playing games around middle school casually and in high school started playing more often and just more. I also studied in a high school where there were mostly rich kids who usually owned an Xbox and a Playstation along with a PC and they played games like Halo, COD or NFS often enough (possibly because it was an expensive hobby and not too demanding).

I did get laughed at for talking about games with another gamer in class but that was only because that was the only thing we ever did.

Now I'm in college, studying engineering and computer science. There are people there that call themselves gamers (when they clearly don't know much) so as to get attention. So I suppose it depends on the environment you're often in. I think the reason gamers sometimes feel ashamed of it is because it's a time consuming, expensive hobby that ultimately doesn't result in anything useful.

I don't feel ashamed. That reasoning that some people use is moronic, though. By that logic, a regular movie-goer should feel ashamed or a bookworm. I find the sense of accomplishment and pure joy from my favorite games to be well worth the time put in.

 

[Elsin1985]

Hi, BeanDelphiki. It's a great coincidence - I work on a diploma with exactly same topic. Have you already finished your assignment? Maybe we could share some ideas or (if you have already written it down) I could make some references in my own work.

This is quite an interesting topic and I must admit I share similar experiences with you as well.

 

[2733]

I wouldn't say I am embarrassed about being a gamer as much as I am embarrassed by how much of a gamer I am. I tell people i only play every once in a while (everyday) that I don't play that many games (40 or so a year) and that I only play a in hour or so shots (I've missed meals).

what can you do?

 

[DEAD34345]

I have been embarrassed about being a "gamer" a couple of times, and each time i was more angry at myself than actually embarrassed. It annoyed me that i was embarrassed about something i didn't think i should be, so i just kind of ignored the embarrassment, and stopped myself from trying to hide the fact in any way.

 

[zaiggs]

I actually had a discussion about this in a Liberal Studies class. It seemed that the people that were embarrassed about being called a gamer didn't want to be grouped with the stereotypical image of a "gamer" but they had the same interests in games as most people who perceive themselves as gamers.

I feel gaming is a group with an "in-crowd" type feel. It's seems like a topic that people stay away from in conversation, but when they find that someone else plays games too, it often becomes the main topic of conversation.

I honestly don't talk about games unless I'm with people that I know play games, not because I'm embarrassed about being a gamer. It's just that more than half of game references usually go over the heads of the people who don't game. I try to slip memes and game references into conversations with people to check if gaming's something they're into. I suppose that's kinda dumb though... I'm not that stealthy about it.

 

[Verlander]

snip

No I have never felt ashamed or embarrassed, and nobody has ever made me feel that way. In the UK (where I live) and in my generation(I'm 24) people from all walks of life, all ages, genders, social classes etc play games, whether it's just FIFA and a couple of fighting games, to full blown rpg/rts nuts. You may get ridiculed at school if you are a geek, but not for being a gamer.

If anyone here honestly gets embarrassment or ridicule for being a gamer, I feel for them. Maybe some of the older people on here experience that, but no one my age.

Further thoughts/observations I've made:

- I'm not entirely sure if my reaction was just to the idea of being a gamer, or more specifically to the idea of being an obsessive gamer (for choosing the topic), i.e. am I embarrassed by the label in general, or am I specifically embarrassed by the idea that I've been seen as fitting a social stereotype about gamers...or both?
- I recall now that when I first discussed this topic with my instructor, I opened the conversation with, "I'm not a gamer myself, but I'm interested in gaming culture..." Again, I'm not certain if this reflected some subconscious embarrassment over being identified as a gamer, or just wanting to deflect any assumptions that my interest was immaturely personal and not of serious academic interest. (Or is that again concerns about appearing to fit an ugly stereotype, i.e. the idea of gaming as a frivolous and immature interest?)
- I think if I'd been mistaken for a gamer in a community of other non-specific "geeks," I would not feel the same way even if they were not gamers themselves. I think I might be embarrassed to be presented as having knowledge or a skill set I don't think I have (i.e. "Oh, no, I'm not an expert on Battlestar Galactica, I've only seen a few episodes") so I think the embarrassment is only limited to people I would assume to have little knowledge or acceptance of gaming - not just non-gamers in general.

1)Your reaction is to the laugh. Simple. You are trying to pick out why you are embarrassed, when the answer is clear. People laugh at you, you get embarrassed. If you are wondering why you were laughed at, it's because many people in higher education want to tackle bigger subjects, like discrimination and suchlike.

2)Are you sure that's not just honesty? Also, distancing yourself from the actual subject matter is what academics do. You get very twisted results when the researcher has a large emotional investment in the outcome.

3)That's possible. I mean, throw it to the other massive geek community, the sports community (they ARE geeks, even if they don't embrace the name itself). If someone who maybe only casually supported a sports team was introduced, or considered by a group of people, to be an expert or fanatic of the team, or even sport, that they only had a limited invested interest in, they wouldn't be comfortable with that assumption.

In the long run, you represent the majority of gamers. People who use games as a source of entertainment, casually and as fits in with their lives. "Hardcore gamers" are far rarer, and most people wouldn't recognise them as such on sight. If they did recognise them as something, it would almost certainly be for some other aspect to their personality that is almost synonymous with being a gamer (eg being a comics geek, or fanboy). It's possibel the group laughed as the perception of gamers is not only relatively obvious, or almost non existent.

 

[TornadoFive]

Also, with regards to your paper...isn't the class reaction a great example for the project? A quarter of the people straight up laughed about it. That in itself is interesting to me.

This is the first thing I thought when I read it. An interesting example to use in your paper perhaps?

As for me, I used to be embarressed about being a "gamer" but now, not so much. I played WoW for a while a few years back (I had a few months of free time due to illness) and when someone found out about it, I was ashamed of it. Now I realise that I don't care what they thought about it. It's a good game and I enjoyed playing it. That's all that really matters.

People tend to assocciate gaming with the traditional shut-in anti-social stereotype, and that's partly why we get embarressed about it. We don't want to be labelled like that. I think we're starting to move past that but it lingers around.

Anyway, good luck with your paper. It's an interesting topic. Treat it well!