Now, I will have to apologize for any harsh language I may say during this post, but, it is a topic that I feel greatly for.
Ok, I am a 18 year old guy from Denmark, who is, in my own words unfortunate.
Explanation incoming.
I have a brain disorder, cause by a blow to the head, causing me to not feel many emotions correctly, as well as not being able to work just properly around people, so obviously, I try to stick to myself.
The sole exception to me sticking to myself, is in World of Warcraft, which is pretty much where I meet new people often giving a reasonable impression... Well, unless they're idiots, obviously.
Now, because of my brain disorder, I can't properly feel love, happiness, and the like, however, I am not only blaming my brain disorder for that, but more the fact that I haven't felt those emotions for many years. That pretty much means I go around not really feeling much but just being quite depressed a bunch.
Actually, most of my joys come from me talking to others, and just being friendly.
And I don't just like to, I think I need to.
When I talk to someone who's going through depression, I just feel good that I am helping, and I will persistently, in my own way, try to make this person trust me so I can learn about them, and help them.
That is about the only time I care about other people... When I need them to feel good about myself. And I will panic, and I will feel terrible if I fail, or cannot help a person.
But, onwards, during my time doing this I get a lot of: "You're a nice guy, nice to talk to, etc" and a few people have taken it to them to "fall" for me, as in in a romantic fashion
This was the case with my ex-girlfriend.
Now, recently I start talking to this girl, who is depressed, a lot, and I do what I do, and talk to her, and what do ya know, she is one of those who "Fall" for me, ironically, I didn't notice until she told me, followed by that she didn't want to talk anymore because of it.
Now, this girl is single, so there'd be nothing wrong with it, theoretically. However, even after she said she was gonna not talk to me again, she comes back, and talks like nothing happened, which I understand, it's happened before when people open up to me and don't really know me that well. But they all come back, and so did she.
But during a following day she expresses her "falling" for me quite a bit more... Aggressively, if you will, and I respond by saying that I was too, for her, because I honestly was, and am. Whether that's because of me being dependant on other people being depressed, or me actually caring about her is something yet to be discovered.
However later that night, she pulls the same stunt, says she doesn't want to talk anymore, leaves, but comes back, this time flat out saying she loves me, which is a bit quick even for me.
I only cautiously respond, but I try to stay as neutral as I can. However throughout all of my time with her, she pushes me away when I get close, saying that she won't ever be happy, and mostly when she leaves, only to come back later, she says it's because she doesn't want to get attached to me.
So, now I am at a crossroads. I can't decide if I should keep trying to help her as long as she comes back, or if I should just suck up a loss, and be depressed until I get the response I need to survive.
So that's what I'd like to ask you. What would you do?
Feel free to ask me further questions, or ask me to go deeper into a subject.
I do have a lack of an overview from the, brain dysfunction most likely, and I most likely lost track of thought a good deal of times writing this.
As a side note, I'd love to ask whoever responds also what makes you happy, and what happiness feels like for you.
Ok, I am a 18 year old guy from Denmark, who is, in my own words unfortunate.
Explanation incoming.
I have a brain disorder, cause by a blow to the head, causing me to not feel many emotions correctly, as well as not being able to work just properly around people, so obviously, I try to stick to myself.
The sole exception to me sticking to myself, is in World of Warcraft, which is pretty much where I meet new people often giving a reasonable impression... Well, unless they're idiots, obviously.
Now, because of my brain disorder, I can't properly feel love, happiness, and the like, however, I am not only blaming my brain disorder for that, but more the fact that I haven't felt those emotions for many years. That pretty much means I go around not really feeling much but just being quite depressed a bunch.
Actually, most of my joys come from me talking to others, and just being friendly.
And I don't just like to, I think I need to.
When I talk to someone who's going through depression, I just feel good that I am helping, and I will persistently, in my own way, try to make this person trust me so I can learn about them, and help them.
That is about the only time I care about other people... When I need them to feel good about myself. And I will panic, and I will feel terrible if I fail, or cannot help a person.
But, onwards, during my time doing this I get a lot of: "You're a nice guy, nice to talk to, etc" and a few people have taken it to them to "fall" for me, as in in a romantic fashion
This was the case with my ex-girlfriend.
Now, recently I start talking to this girl, who is depressed, a lot, and I do what I do, and talk to her, and what do ya know, she is one of those who "Fall" for me, ironically, I didn't notice until she told me, followed by that she didn't want to talk anymore because of it.
Now, this girl is single, so there'd be nothing wrong with it, theoretically. However, even after she said she was gonna not talk to me again, she comes back, and talks like nothing happened, which I understand, it's happened before when people open up to me and don't really know me that well. But they all come back, and so did she.
But during a following day she expresses her "falling" for me quite a bit more... Aggressively, if you will, and I respond by saying that I was too, for her, because I honestly was, and am. Whether that's because of me being dependant on other people being depressed, or me actually caring about her is something yet to be discovered.
However later that night, she pulls the same stunt, says she doesn't want to talk anymore, leaves, but comes back, this time flat out saying she loves me, which is a bit quick even for me.
I only cautiously respond, but I try to stay as neutral as I can. However throughout all of my time with her, she pushes me away when I get close, saying that she won't ever be happy, and mostly when she leaves, only to come back later, she says it's because she doesn't want to get attached to me.
So, now I am at a crossroads. I can't decide if I should keep trying to help her as long as she comes back, or if I should just suck up a loss, and be depressed until I get the response I need to survive.
So that's what I'd like to ask you. What would you do?
Feel free to ask me further questions, or ask me to go deeper into a subject.
I do have a lack of an overview from the, brain dysfunction most likely, and I most likely lost track of thought a good deal of times writing this.
As a side note, I'd love to ask whoever responds also what makes you happy, and what happiness feels like for you.
