Emotional Control

[Frungy]

I usually do this by engaging the common-sense analytical part of my mind, and I also like to remind myself that the present is only temporary, and things that you feel would shatter your world one day are inconsequential, nearly forgotten footnotes down the line. I keep that perspective, and it serves me admirably.

This is a good attitude. This idea appears in many cultures, Persian, Jewish, Turkish, and Indian, and has been summed up in the words, "This too shall pass". I actually use this as a meditation trigger when someone is really irritating me, and I just take a breath, repeat the phrase in my head, take another breath and dispel the negative emotion, by realising that this irritant will be gone soon and I have a much better chance of surviving the encounter with my sanity and dignity intact if I keep my cool.

Whether it's poor service, some religious right-wing nutter, some bleeding heart liberal who doesn't realise that their solution is insane, or just dealing with a crying baby I've found these simple words, "This too shall pass", to be a great help.

Of course there is a flipside, and that your life too will pass, so it encourages me to get off my ass and get stuff done, to enjoy life and not waste it in the company of idiots, and not to be too arrogant about my place in the universe. It's a great concept and well worth meditating on.

 

[Dango]

I don't see a reason to control your emotions, other than fitting in. Emotions are something that should be used, otherwise they're wasted.

 

[Frungy]

*Snipped for space*

Wow. Someone who actually has experience in this. I'm surprised that you actually responded to this.

Sorry about the long post, my biggest failing is that I'm unable to condense stuff when I'm writing, I leave that for the editing phase... which I never do on the net.

If you read some of the other posts you'll see that a lot of people here are actually doing something similar to the technique I'm using, but they haven't formalised it and probably don't know the theoretical backing to the technique. It's fundamentally a cognitive-behavioural technique (linking action and thought in a positive feedback loop in order to produce a change in thought or attitude, kindof like building a good habit), and the more advanced version of the technique I describe mixes in some meditative technique and is a bit more holistic than the basic approach.

We are all creatures of habit, even the most impulsive of us has a pattern, and the trick is simply to build good habits that contribute to our contentment. I avoided the word happiness because like "love" it's not a sustainable emotion for daily life. This doesn't mean we can't feel love and happiness at various points in the day, just that aiming to feel happy all the time would quickly result in a massive seratonin imbalance and you'd end up a complete nutter .

 

[StriderShinryu]

For the most part, I do fairly well. I've been a bit of an emotional mess lately though, but I have still been able to keep a level head in regards to the big stuff.

 

[geldonyetich]

Me, I don't have a lot of emotions - I'm not without a heart, but I fostered a tendency from a relatively young age to regard emotions as so much worthless static in the face of higher logical behavior and shut them out.

The concept works well enough for emotional control, however, I also don't have a whole lot of motivation to get anything done.

My not having a lot of emotions and not having a lot of drive to get things done are linked.

Keep this in mind in emotional control. To have your emotions rule your actions is problematic, yes. They don't make a very good advisor, in my opinion, except perhaps in matters of interpersonal communication. However, despite this, it's better to harness your emotions to drive your success than it is to discard them entirely. Emotions are best utilized as an engine, not a compass.

 

[viranimus]

I am a slave to my anger.

Its not that it makes me do anything specifically.. but more to the effect that it is the only emotion that is omnipresent to me. I can become agitated over practically anything.

Outside of my anger, honestly Im pretty much emotionally dead any more. Great, now I want to go break something

 

[fozzy360]

Me, I don't have a lot of emotions - I'm not without a heart, but I fostered a tendency from a relatively young age to regard emotions as so much worthless static in the face of higher logical behavior and shut them out.

The concept works well enough for emotional control, however, I also don't have a whole lot of motivation to get anything done.

My not having a lot of emotions and not having a lot of drive to get things done are linked.

I think I'm the same boat you are, if I'm understanding correctly. I don't tend to feel much other than enthusiasm for a new game or film. I'm quite apathetic when it comes to many things, and I never have felt the need to sufficiently cry or have any sort of emotional outpouring. What I mean to say is that I've never really had emotions to check anyways. I look at things from a rational perspective instead of jumping and acting on an emotional level. There's always another side to things, and I tend to look for that other side before I do anything else. It's helped, as being level-headed allows for the best planning, but on the other hand I do worry somewhat if I'm just becoming a cold person who can't really feel for anything.

Maybe that's why I love Kane and Lynch so much. So downbeat that game.

 

[RandomWords]

It wouldn't matter, when I'm going through certain emotions like anger. I think rationally and identify the right decision and deliberately choose the wrong one to piss them off, angry or emotionally controlled I always like pissing people off.

 

[Extraintrovert]

I have no control of my emotions. They control me, in everything I do and more importantly and frequently in what I don't do. I fear everything, I hate everything, and everything is filtered through this almost opaque lens leaving what miniscule rational portion of my mind that remains to subsist on scraps. It hasn't exactly worked well for me, and several psychologists and therapists and one colossally wasteful stay in a clinic later I have severe doubts that will ever change. Hooray for me.

 

[FollowUp]

I think if someone says my "emotions control my actions" they sound immature, if someone says "I control myself, they don't rule me," they sound like they're trying to sound cool. Some careful wording applies here. I try to avoid showing overt emotions solely so people don't verbally beat me to a fine red paste.