This is my first review so dont be mean:
Well I?ve read a lot of reviews on escapist, and truth be told, half of them are bad. Now don?t get me wrong some of them I liked but others were....interesting to say the least *cough* MGG *cough*. So I?ve decided to put my own steaming pile of literature out on the site and see what people say, if all you have to say is a flame be aware I?m wearing a Half-Life grade flamesuit.
Now onto the review, I can tell you are positively quivering with excitement at the thought. Most reviews I?ve read on this site have been on oft repeated subjects for example, Crysis, Halo 3 and so on; well I?m going to mix it up a little. Aren?t you pleased to hear that?
Now I?m going to be reviewing an RTS called Empire Earth 3. I?ve been a big fan of the series since the first one from years back. Now EE1 was an RTS made out of sheer awesome, the second one not so great but still a nice game with a couple of improvements but generally less awesome, but EE3 is the one I?m reviewing now, so I suppose I should get on with it.
Now EE3 is a whole different direction than the other games, instead of 12 or so ?epochs? (ages) to progress through, which was the main selling point of EE1 + 2, these have been condensed into 5 broad and generic ages called: Ancient, Medieval, Colonial, Modern and Future. In itself this is fine but the way the game has been implemented is to cater to the ?casual gamer?. To big RTS fans like me this basically means ? ?we took out all the complexity and made this a shallow puddle of a game?. If you play the game with this in mind and/or are a casual gamer the game will be perfectly appealing to you and will serve as a good base of experience for more complex RTS games (see: command and conquer).
You may be asking ?Sib, what do you mean simplified? Aren?t all RTS basically the same pattern?? To this I would reply ?No, my good peon. (I?ve always wanted to say that) Gone are the unit specialisations, gone are the territory bonuses and strategy elements.?
EE3 is still a solid RTS title but it?s just lacking that special something that makes me think ?Damn I want to play this all night?, that feeling is replaced with a more sullen ?meh, I might boot it up later to whoop this pointless NPC.? And with that ill wrap up this general section of meaningless rambling.
The user interface for creating your ?Custom Civ? was designed to make me want to go on a murderous rampage, not only does it CHOOSE the units you can/cannot have, it makes these choices arbitrarily. I want a long swordsman? The game tells me fack off and goes back to walking into walls (more on this later). As if that?s not annoying enough if I miss-click one of those things that the computer hasn?t already chosen for me I have to clear the entire damn Civ before I can change it.
Well if we can get past the UI and into a match the AI does its damndest to thwart any chance of a challenging match because the AI player tends to spam buildings everywhere, never advance in epoch (peasant vs. robot super soldier) but will attempt to walk through any obstacle, troops will stretch into gigantic map long ribbons if you try and move your whole army in one big bunch. Not realizing I carefully coordinated their formation so that the archers don?t get gang banged by crazy samurai. They also refuse to build factories and airports even when I spawn them in the Future epoch, grrrrr. I think you have realized by now that the AI is below par and buggy, so I will move onto the graphics.
The graphics are nice; really they are one of the few saving graces of the game. I don?t mean they are ultra realistic or whatever buzzwords we are using for graphics now, the graphics are cartoon-y and stylized but generally pretty and appealing. I won?t say anything bad about them, although I will comment that as in 90% of RTS games: All vehicles and buildings have a Tardis affect (to those of you who have never heard of Doctor Who; this means they are far bigger inside than outside). The units are all low detail but still good to look at and the Eastern bio-engineered units are absolutely fabulous really, they LOOK like they are bio-engineered monstrosities (still cute somehow, mind you) rather than a tank with a slightly slimy texture.
The 3 factions that you will be playing with are billed as highly customizable and unique, I?ll give you unique but customizable? BULLSHIT, you read what I said about the Civ creator. Basically they are divided into the West ? Quality > Quantity, the East ? Quantity > Quality and the Middle East who are sort of out there being funky (I?ll get to that in a minute). The factions are very well balanced, each are unique and very well done, I don?t have anything bad to say about them that I can?t apply to the whole game. Now the Middle East is a really unique Civ and very different than anything I?ve seen before. Basically you can pack all the buildings you own up onto little carts and leave, and then set up elsewhere. This may not sound like much but it does make for an interesting feature, their units are based on Guerrilla tactics and yes before you ask you can get suicide bombers. I won?t explain the units for East and West because you can probably assume most of it, the whole samurais and ninjas vs. Heavy swordsmen and pike men, you get the gist.
If you?re still reading this review by now then I congratulate you in wading through this mound of insensible jabber, the review is nearly over, I think. So, what?s left to say?
Sound? Nothing much worth mentioning there, the stereotypical RTS soundtrack and average battle sounds.
You know what? I?m going to end the review here because I could ramble on for another couple pages if I wanted but I honestly can?t be bothered, but before I go I want to let you in on a little secret. I did this review mainly to test my new Office Word that came with Vista, it?s definitely ?different? in the same way MGG?s reviews are different to say normal reviews.
Now for the ubiquitous scoring of the various merits:
>>> Game play: 6/10 ? clunky, unoriginal and shallow
>>> Graphics: 8/10 ? nice, colourful and appealing
>>> Sound: 7/10 ? the same RTS standard which is good but nothing special
>>> Overall: 6/10 ? If you are new to the RTS genre the score would go up to an 8 because it is a very nice beginner game but big RTS fans will find it shallow and boring.
NOTE: I used this for my English GCSE coursework so I am now signing this at the end stating that I, Alex Whateley, made this piece unaided, so that the exam board doesn't slap me with an accusation of plagiarism. Thank you.
Well I?ve read a lot of reviews on escapist, and truth be told, half of them are bad. Now don?t get me wrong some of them I liked but others were....interesting to say the least *cough* MGG *cough*. So I?ve decided to put my own steaming pile of literature out on the site and see what people say, if all you have to say is a flame be aware I?m wearing a Half-Life grade flamesuit.
Now onto the review, I can tell you are positively quivering with excitement at the thought. Most reviews I?ve read on this site have been on oft repeated subjects for example, Crysis, Halo 3 and so on; well I?m going to mix it up a little. Aren?t you pleased to hear that?
Now I?m going to be reviewing an RTS called Empire Earth 3. I?ve been a big fan of the series since the first one from years back. Now EE1 was an RTS made out of sheer awesome, the second one not so great but still a nice game with a couple of improvements but generally less awesome, but EE3 is the one I?m reviewing now, so I suppose I should get on with it.
Now EE3 is a whole different direction than the other games, instead of 12 or so ?epochs? (ages) to progress through, which was the main selling point of EE1 + 2, these have been condensed into 5 broad and generic ages called: Ancient, Medieval, Colonial, Modern and Future. In itself this is fine but the way the game has been implemented is to cater to the ?casual gamer?. To big RTS fans like me this basically means ? ?we took out all the complexity and made this a shallow puddle of a game?. If you play the game with this in mind and/or are a casual gamer the game will be perfectly appealing to you and will serve as a good base of experience for more complex RTS games (see: command and conquer).
You may be asking ?Sib, what do you mean simplified? Aren?t all RTS basically the same pattern?? To this I would reply ?No, my good peon. (I?ve always wanted to say that) Gone are the unit specialisations, gone are the territory bonuses and strategy elements.?
EE3 is still a solid RTS title but it?s just lacking that special something that makes me think ?Damn I want to play this all night?, that feeling is replaced with a more sullen ?meh, I might boot it up later to whoop this pointless NPC.? And with that ill wrap up this general section of meaningless rambling.
The user interface for creating your ?Custom Civ? was designed to make me want to go on a murderous rampage, not only does it CHOOSE the units you can/cannot have, it makes these choices arbitrarily. I want a long swordsman? The game tells me fack off and goes back to walking into walls (more on this later). As if that?s not annoying enough if I miss-click one of those things that the computer hasn?t already chosen for me I have to clear the entire damn Civ before I can change it.
Well if we can get past the UI and into a match the AI does its damndest to thwart any chance of a challenging match because the AI player tends to spam buildings everywhere, never advance in epoch (peasant vs. robot super soldier) but will attempt to walk through any obstacle, troops will stretch into gigantic map long ribbons if you try and move your whole army in one big bunch. Not realizing I carefully coordinated their formation so that the archers don?t get gang banged by crazy samurai. They also refuse to build factories and airports even when I spawn them in the Future epoch, grrrrr. I think you have realized by now that the AI is below par and buggy, so I will move onto the graphics.
The graphics are nice; really they are one of the few saving graces of the game. I don?t mean they are ultra realistic or whatever buzzwords we are using for graphics now, the graphics are cartoon-y and stylized but generally pretty and appealing. I won?t say anything bad about them, although I will comment that as in 90% of RTS games: All vehicles and buildings have a Tardis affect (to those of you who have never heard of Doctor Who; this means they are far bigger inside than outside). The units are all low detail but still good to look at and the Eastern bio-engineered units are absolutely fabulous really, they LOOK like they are bio-engineered monstrosities (still cute somehow, mind you) rather than a tank with a slightly slimy texture.
The 3 factions that you will be playing with are billed as highly customizable and unique, I?ll give you unique but customizable? BULLSHIT, you read what I said about the Civ creator. Basically they are divided into the West ? Quality > Quantity, the East ? Quantity > Quality and the Middle East who are sort of out there being funky (I?ll get to that in a minute). The factions are very well balanced, each are unique and very well done, I don?t have anything bad to say about them that I can?t apply to the whole game. Now the Middle East is a really unique Civ and very different than anything I?ve seen before. Basically you can pack all the buildings you own up onto little carts and leave, and then set up elsewhere. This may not sound like much but it does make for an interesting feature, their units are based on Guerrilla tactics and yes before you ask you can get suicide bombers. I won?t explain the units for East and West because you can probably assume most of it, the whole samurais and ninjas vs. Heavy swordsmen and pike men, you get the gist.
If you?re still reading this review by now then I congratulate you in wading through this mound of insensible jabber, the review is nearly over, I think. So, what?s left to say?
Sound? Nothing much worth mentioning there, the stereotypical RTS soundtrack and average battle sounds.
You know what? I?m going to end the review here because I could ramble on for another couple pages if I wanted but I honestly can?t be bothered, but before I go I want to let you in on a little secret. I did this review mainly to test my new Office Word that came with Vista, it?s definitely ?different? in the same way MGG?s reviews are different to say normal reviews.
Now for the ubiquitous scoring of the various merits:
>>> Game play: 6/10 ? clunky, unoriginal and shallow
>>> Graphics: 8/10 ? nice, colourful and appealing
>>> Sound: 7/10 ? the same RTS standard which is good but nothing special
>>> Overall: 6/10 ? If you are new to the RTS genre the score would go up to an 8 because it is a very nice beginner game but big RTS fans will find it shallow and boring.
NOTE: I used this for my English GCSE coursework so I am now signing this at the end stating that I, Alex Whateley, made this piece unaided, so that the exam board doesn't slap me with an accusation of plagiarism. Thank you.
