Epic names for everyday objects

[ThongBonerstorm]

Well we work at a College, so all the unappealing girls are Chub-Monsters. not as good as some of yours, but i like it.

 

[thiosk]

Reversible all-weather jacket

SUPERHYDROPHOBIC POLYMORPHIC THERMAL ARMOR

 

[scw55]

Poultry Ovulation - Eggs.
Fluid Containment Chamber - Bottle.

 

[ReaperzXIII]

Thermal insulating multi-environment foot armour - Socks!
Heat Reducing Spinning Blades - Fan
All-purpose edged mutilation steel - Knife
Mini nuclear reactor, nutrition energization device - Microwave

 

[Rynh]

Carryable writing platform = Paper

 

[OldGus]

Universal crushing/bludgeoning projectile (which is also a good crushing bludgeoning or grinding hand tool)

Spoiler

A rock

A bludgeoning, slicing, tree amputator

Spoiler

an ax

Practical Gift-Wrapping for Nature's Greatest Bounty

Spoiler

com'on, do I really need to spell it out?

Spoiler

ok, any kind of underwear. In particular bras, but I'm male, so that's my opinion.

Relaxation Providing or Pleasure Facilitating Comforting Interface

Spoiler

a bed

I had another idea, but this guy is not an everyday object http://www.badassoftheweek.com/shrestha.html

 

[Yokai]

Spoiler: Cylindrical aluminum-sealed carbonate containment device

Spoiler: Area-sensitive manually controlled digital manipulator

Spoiler: Transparent semi-permeable photon radiation gate

Spoiler: High-velocity serrated rotary friction eviscerator

 

[phantasmalWordsmith]

Bowel Destroyer. Mum's cooking
Loyal miniature silver tiger shoulder companion. My cat

 

[KingofallCosmos]

Practical Gift-Wrapping for Nature's Greatest Bounty

Spoiler

com'on, do I really need to spell it out?

Spoiler

ok, any kind of underwear. In particular bras, but I'm male, so that's my opinion.

I thought you meant banana..

 

[Thimblefoot]

Hell, I do stuff like this all the damn time, I have epic names for tons of things in my room and house, but it's all interchangeable. For instance, I will name my mouse "The Mouse of Unstoppable Justice" or name my tea mug the "Mug of Inescapable Doom" and whatnot, it is highly entertaining.

EDIT: For an everyday object you would see outside...a bus shelter. Also knows as a "Impregnable Plastic Protection Bunker", or "Bummicas Resticus"

Or something.

 

[Jelly ^.^]

Ablutionary facility: A bathroom

 

[Mazza35]

Toilet
URINATION AND RECTAL EXCRETION FACILITY!

 

[StormShaun]

Super easy to make people sleep potion -> Chloroform

Yellow sausage of healthyness -> Banana

 

[Shade184]

Computer-Aided Portable Bit Storage Device

Spoiler

Reversible all-weather jacket

SUPERHYDROPHOBIC POLYMORPHIC THERMAL ARMOR

Best one yet.

 

[AtroposHeart]

Element Sheild-Umberella

 

[Griffolion]

Tablet PC that has been done years before and it's concept is actually nothing new since roughly the 80's - iPad, magical and revolutionary