Equality In Relationships

[WorkerMurphey]

I'm currently engaged. Relationships aren't about control but balance. People just need to find a way to work together and communicate effectively. Everything else is gravy beyond that - assuming you're both functional, emotionally mature people, something that isn't always the case.

 

[Diddy_Mao]

Depends on what you mean by subservient or submissive.

Some would say I appear submissive because I do almost all the cooking in our relationship. But the fact of the matter is, I love to cook and she doesn't.

Things that someone would see as a power play or as a form of dominance are simply signs of mutual respect.
If she's going out after work or if I'm going to be out drinking with the boys we let each other know so that I don't bother making enough food for the two of us or that she knows not to expect me home anytime soon.

I've never once asked for her permission to go out, nor do I request it from her. But out of respect we do let each other know what we're doing so as not to worry one another.

 

[The Man With the Soap]

Relationships...bah! Who needs them? Everything you love will either reject you or die.

said the Grinch

There's no such thing as fairytale endings. All couples end up either separating or resenting each other.

I know from experience that that's not true. The ending may not be a total fairy tell ending, but not all old couples hate each other.

Then where are all these happy relationships? I sure haven't had any.

 

[zehydra]

Relationships...bah! Who needs them? Everything you love will either reject you or die.

said the Grinch

There's no such thing as fairytale endings. All couples end up either separating or resenting each other.

I know from experience that that's not true. The ending may not be a total fairy tell ending, but not all old couples hate each other.

Then where are all these happy relationships? I sure haven't had any.

Well, I sure hope you're not basing your faith on the existence of happy relationships purely on your own experiences? Talk to people, I'm sure you'll find others who are happy.

 

[The Man With the Soap]

Relationships...bah! Who needs them? Everything you love will either reject you or die.

said the Grinch

There's no such thing as fairytale endings. All couples end up either separating or resenting each other.

I know from experience that that's not true. The ending may not be a total fairy tell ending, but not all old couples hate each other.

Then where are all these happy relationships? I sure haven't had any.

Well, I sure hope you're not basing your faith on the existence of happy relationships purely on your own experiences? Talk to people, I'm sure you'll find others who are happy.

No relationship I've ever had has ended well, and anyone I know who is happy in a relationship is going to be sad and alone in a month.

 

[zehydra]

Relationships...bah! Who needs them? Everything you love will either reject you or die.

said the Grinch

There's no such thing as fairytale endings. All couples end up either separating or resenting each other.

I know from experience that that's not true. The ending may not be a total fairy tell ending, but not all old couples hate each other.

Then where are all these happy relationships? I sure haven't had any.

Well, I sure hope you're not basing your faith on the existence of happy relationships purely on your own experiences? Talk to people, I'm sure you'll find others who are happy.

No relationship I've ever had has ended well, and anyone I know who is happy in a relationship is going to be sad and alone in a month.

Well, wait and see.

 

[Paksenarrion]

I tend to see it as more of Pursuer versus Pursued instead of dominant and submissive. In an honest and safe relationship, it's exhilarating taking turns.

 

[Eponet]

Independent.

Just because you're not trying to force anything on him, it doesn't mean that you're going to simply do what you're told purely because you're told to.

 

[LemonMelon]

I'd have to agree with most here. I tend to switch back and forth. While I love to make plans, I hate to make decisions (and most of the time I most certainly hate leading in intimacy).

 

[Capt. Crankypants]

It's interesting I see alot of 'submissive' types. I generally feel that, not to be sexist, but in my own relationships (dunno what works for others, dont mind either) I prefer to be (and am) the dominant one. Not that I'm mean or crave the power, I feel that I can be the dominant party, and be kind and courteous aswell. My impression is that girls (the ones I gravitate towards anyway) like to have a strong, confident, decisive man, but if you can be loving and gentle, that's a winner.

As for intimacy, I've always been the dominant one again, but I enjoy switching it around occasionally and putting the miss in charge, whether it be by having myself tied down or whatever. (maybe a BIT too much info there, but just an example I guess. I've heard weirder things on this site)

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

I'm more submissive in any relationship that I'm in, though I can be dominant if need be. In my current one, there is a good switching up every now and then. Nothing too drastic though, and I'm rather happy with it.