Escape to the Movies: Book of Eli

[MeSomeGuy]

Yeah, good points all around .. I still wanna watch it though.

Please do. Don't let all of the angry rants on the forum scare you off

 

[AntiFate]

Bob, you know what, I've realized you're just a wannabe jaded hack who needs to stop spewing his "humble" opinion and go back to fapping to his comic books... Not once in this review did you address anything other than the one single plot mechanic that this movie failed to deliver, no story, no dialogue, no acting... just you bashing god... I'm so sick of your reviews...

 

[PlasticLion]

You're still here?

It's over.

Go home.

Go.

 

[Gxas]

Bob, you know what, I've realized you're just a wannabe jaded hack who needs to stop spewing his "humble" opinion and go back to fapping to his comic books... Not once in this review did you address anything other than the one single plot mechanic that this movie failed to deliver, no story, no dialogue, no acting... just you bashing god... I'm so sick of your reviews...

Quite unnecessary. If you don't like them, don't keep watching them.

You're still here?

It's over.

Go home.

Go.

Just because you say it's over doesn't mean it is. Seeing as Bob has been responding, sporadically, but responding, the argument is not over. Until there is no more to be discussed, it is never over. What you have just done is bumped your post count and contributed nothing to the conversation at all. If it is over for you, just leave it alone. Just because you have no interest in the topic anymore, doesn't mean everyone else has left it too.

 

[PlasticLion]

Bob, you know what, I've realized you're just a wannabe jaded hack who needs to stop spewing his "humble" opinion and go back to fapping to his comic books... Not once in this review did you address anything other than the one single plot mechanic that this movie failed to deliver, no story, no dialogue, no acting... just you bashing god... I'm so sick of your reviews...

Quite unnecessary. If you don't like them, don't keep watching them.

You're still here?

It's over.

Go home.

Go.

Just because you say it's over doesn't mean it is. Seeing as Bob has been responding, sporadically, but responding, the argument is not over. Until there is no more to be discussed, it is never over. What you have just done is bumped your post count and contributed nothing to the conversation at all. If it is over for you, just leave it alone. Just because you have no interest in the topic anymore, doesn't mean everyone else has left it too.

(sigh) If you don't know the quote, then I do apologize. Please understand I was merely trying to be light-hearted because the comments here have gotten so heavy. Sorry.

I have a post count?

 

[Gxas]

(sigh) If you don't know the quote, then I do apologize. Please understand I was merely trying to be light-hearted because the comments here have gotten so heavy. Sorry.

I have a post count?

Pardon, I was actually really pissed at the other guy I quoted. I guess I let some (read: most) of that rage transfer into my response to you. I understand your motive.

EDIT: Hardly

 

[whaleswiththumbs]

The comercials always reminded me of Fallout1/2. So i'll catch it on DVD, just not in theatres.

 

[neutrinoide]

I left before the end for similar critic Bob did. I was like, really? it really about the bible? That shallow wannabe deep crap movie with all those inuendo of see what happen when you don`t believe in God, you stupid atheist!

 

[Aulleas123]

Voltaire would be pretentious and nonfunctional - you'd have to explain to at least half of the audience what the significance of it was.

Playboy would be silly, unless it tied into the plot somehow (i.e. people had forgotten about sex or something, I dunno.)

I have no objection to the MacGuffin being a Bible BECAUSE it's a Bible, I object to it being a Bible in the context and tone of this movie.

Excellent points about the two books, although going around with a Playboy might make those long wasteland journeys a little less lonely.

See, the whole "last book/movie/song/whatever on Earth" thing has been done A LOT; and when it works there's generally some level of irony or at least commentary at play in terms of what "it" is.

True again, but I think that the irony is that one fights a butt-load of Bibles being sold left and right and in every household. Whether the irony was good or not is up to interpretation. I think that carrying a Bible around would have more to story listeners than if he carried around The Mona Lisa, which much fewer folks have had interactions with (it's actually smaller than one would think).

This is aside from the fact that the film's ultimate pointlessness undermine's itself by serving as a perfect example of why God (as opposed to agents thereof) doesn't really "work" as a character in non-Biblical stories. By the end of the film, it's 100% clear that God has been an active participant in the film, meaning that our story ultimately boils down to this: God decides to save mankind from the apocalypse by putting a Bible in the hands of one guy and having him wander westward for 30 years killing people with a sword. I'm sorry, "mysterious ways" or not, that's just poor plotting.

Good point, however I think that if we were to relate a post-apocalyptic world to some other time in history, it would probably be the dark ages. In this time, there were a lot of cases in which people did pray for salvation, forgiveness, protection, etc. and never got it. People were likely to die left and right at the hands of Vikings from the north, Muslims in the south (though Spain), bandits on the road, or even your (fellow Christian) lord who kills you because your daughter is pretty. No protection, which is why this time sucked.

I think that when people see a movie with an all powerful deity that is also invisible, they might want to see that deity actually do something. For some this film would have impressed them, for others not. Now that I see that your arguments are purely about the movie, I'll attempt to lift any imperious tone that I had (unintentionally) and say thanks for responding, it was pretty late in and I didn't think you'd get to it.

I love the reviews by the way, keep it up man!

 

[Undercover]

I already know what I was babbling about...

Even if religion was removed (pretty much impossible) the world would find something else to fight over. And you complained about people trying to shove god down your throat well i have met atheists who try even harder to shove nothing down my throat.

I completely agree with you on both points, although "complaining" might be a bit to strong a word, as it implies that I give a shit what people think. As far as Atheists trying to shove "nothing" down your throat, (well put by the way) people like that are just as bad as hypocritical Christians.

I am entitled to my beliefs just as you are entitled to yours, and I don't try to force what I believe in on anyone, I simply lay out the facts as I know them and you decide for yourself.

I have studied your beliefs in depth, what do you know about mine? Do you even understand why I don't believe in your God, or are you just going to write me off as "misinformed" or "lost?" Because I am neither. Read Christopher Hitchens, then get back to me.

 

[Undercover]

Once again, getting attacked for my views...

really? do you also walk into the ghetto and say "i am part of the kkk!!!"

and do you realize that if you say your an atheist, people don't try and force god down your throat (at least most normal people) but if you tell an atheist your religion he'll try to convince you how idiotic and how bad religion is. so please, don't go into your rant about religion, because its so tired and samey as all the other atheist speeches we've heard here.

I beg your pardon? Where are you getting your "facts" from? Firstly, you have no idea who I am or what kind of person I am, so to make a statement like your "KKK" one only proves your own ignorance, and has nothing to do with what I was talking about. It made no sense at all.

If you would be so kind as to explain why you said that to me, I would appreciate it.

And as far as walking around telling people I'm an Atheist is concerned, just who in the hell do you think you are making blanket statements like that? So you're saying that in all the research you've done (I'm assuming that you've done extensive research into Atheism, otherwise making a statement like that was very foolish) you can conclusively say that all Athiests will try to force their beliefs on other people, even to a greater degree than religious types doing the same, and indeed will do so with condescension and insults?

I'd like to see where you got that information from, unless of course you just made it up and are basically talking out of your ass. So which is it, fact or fiction?

And as far as my "rant" is concerned, my friend you have yet to hear one from me. Not once have I ever called someone an idiot for their religious beliefs. Misinformed and misguided perhaps, but I would never stoop to such juvenile statements.

I could spend all day talking about how religion poisons everything, and back up every statement with histortical and proveable facts.

How about you? I've already said it once, if you want to get into it with me you'd better be prepared.

Attack me again, see what happens.

 

[Cryo84R]

Wow, someone has a problem with religion. Did a priest touch you or something?

Atheists are such tolerant people.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

Just as I suspected... it was going to be boring.

Well at least I saved myself 20 bucks.

20 bucks? where the fuck do you see movies at? the death star?

overall the movie wasn't bad, if your looking for a super deep plot then dont see it, but for some sweet action and denzel washington being badass its pretty good, i think it just got overly hyped

So the person with the last copy of "Love thy neighbor" goes about slaughtering people with a sword? Is there any part in the movie where the main character acknowledges the irony of his actions? From the trailers I didn't think the book would be the bible, but now that I know it is, this movie seems a whole lot less interesting.

i have seen it, and yes he does a few times, he spits a few lines out here and there about that, overall the movie isn't some super christian based movie trying to get you to believe in god so overall i enjoyed it alot

 

[Theo Samaritan]

This has a point, which I will now explain. Something I am surprised Bob didn't touch on, to be honest.

The Book of Eli is essentially a remake of Zardoz, which was a film released in 1974 featuring this hunk of Scottish asswipe that is Sean Connery in this bondage getup (and other things).

The team behind Eli have already stated this was their intention, and indeed many things have parallels between the two films - the setting is similar (Zardoz is actually set a couple hundred years after the apocalyptic war) both characters are carrying a book for "God", both get involved with a certain type of bad guy and some women linked to him in some way. You will need to watch both films to draw the actual comparisons - of which there are more than I mention.

The bad guys both want this book in order to control other men in some way.

The issue is that Eli misses the point. The reason why Zardoz worked so well in telling the story can be summed up with the ending, which I will now explain in this spoiler bracket.

Spoiler

In Zardoz, the book that Connery's character is carrying and protecting... the book that everyone else is trying to kill him - and are killing everyone else - for... is none other than The Wizard of Oz.

Other comparisons include the big bad, who in Zardoz is actually a scientist who wants a better mankind through knowledge - and has a mistaken belief that the book is the key.

The entire message of Zardoz is that any idea can be turned into a religion or controlling mindset, no matter how fanciful that idea is. It is not about the content of the book, but the book itself.

Eli misses the point, it seams, by making the book The Bible. While it can be argued that the point still stands in the film, I personally feel that making the book be the actual book that is the basis for one of the worlds major religions just turns it from a remake of one of the most underrated and off the wall [http://www.agonyboothmedia.com/images/articles/Zardoz_1974/cap471.jpg] commentaries of the mindset of mankind (in that we all follow some kind of belief if the promise is better than what we have) into essentially a telling of how a man wants to become a pope for his own gain, and how Eli is the saint that stops him.

This is my view, I will leave it to you if I am right or wrong.

 

[Turtleboy1017]

i dont understand how movie bob can be nice to surrogates and 2012 while bashing this movie...

so God's in it. Who cares? It made sense in a way, and was quite fun. There are hundreds of movies way worse than this, and i would gladly see this again.

 

[SkullCap]

After learning that the book is, in fact the Bible, I want to see it even more. Throughout the review Moviebob kept saying how he thought it would be symbolic, hollowed out to contain a cure, or have some weapon hidden inside. I thought that too and thank God I was wrong; because the Bible has already been used countless times to either present a form of symbolism or hide something.

I've seen Bibles and Crucifix necklaces block bullets, knives, and fists. In Spider-Man 2, Aunt May held on for dear life to the arm of an angel statue. Religious symbols collapsed in the 2012 movie. Angel wings have fallen off statues. Churches have been set on fire to leave only the charred Cross hanging in the back of the ruined structure. The Bible has been hallowed out to hide pistols, potions, and everything, except Christian text. Yet Moviebob says that because "it's just a Bible" is trite? What hasn't been done before? Nothing. The Bible's been used in movies more as a shield and a utility box then it has ever been used as a book.

When was the last time it was just a Bible? In a secular movie no less. Now what is the problem with it being a Bible? The Bible is one of the oldest texts to still exist; no other book has had more controversy; and no other historic text has a history as bloody as the Holy Bible.

The movie takes place in a post-Apocalyptic world and the Bible STILL hasn't been wiped off the face of the Earth. Isn't that symbollic itself? Not even the Apocalypse itself could destroy the Bible while other text was lost to ages, but not the Bible. The Bible doesn't need any symbolism to stress the gravity of its presence. History alone shows that no other book is able to survive countless wars, persecutions, burnings, and gruesome punishment to all who followed it's teachings.

For example, Bloody Mary, Queen of England, went on a bloodthirsty hunt to find every single Protestant Bible. If a Bible was found in a house, the entire family would be placed on their knees and have their throats slit over the Bible one at a time. The blood-soaked Bible then would be ripped to shreds and tossed into the streets as a warning. However the very next day the torn pieces would be gone, why, because the residents of other houses gathered the pieces of the Bible from the street and would stitch it back together.

Another thing to say it's a 'cheesy message', which makes me wonder what presuppositions Moviebob has towards the Bible.

Plus there IS symbolism in the movie. In Ephesian's 6, the Bible is called the Sword of the Spirit. We have a man determined to fight off the legions of darkness in a world filled with despair, suffering, and hate; he's equipped with something so valuable and rare that he must protect it's very existence. He's a knight only equipped with a sword to save the people. If it falls into the hands of evil men it will be perverted to benefit their own wicked desires and lead countless astray (in other words a "false prophet").

Moviebob, I respect your opinion, but disliking a movie because it wasn't what you expected along with a controversial stance according to the modern world opinion doesn't provide ample or professional opinion. It was more personal.

 

[Turtleboy1017]

consolidation...

 

[Turtleboy1017]

Oh wow, sad day. I was hoping this might actually turn out good. Thanks for the heads up Bob.

damn. I had some hope for this movie. ho well. I hadn't bought a ticket yet, and if you couldn't see the "it's a bible" thing coming, you are blind.

Wow, I haven't ever seen Bob this bored while reviewing a movie.

I think I might skip this one. I have already seen too many Apocalyptic films. Plus to me anything that just has one guy carrying the one last...Thing, to the one last place to keep it safe is boring, besides it being cut up by action scenes.

I know this probably sounds cliche over the internet and all, but I can honestly say that I actually felt physically ill watching this review.

Then again, this isn't surprising, considering that this one is done by the fucking Hughes brothers - the same assholes responsible for Menace II Society. Also, the guy who's credited for writing this apparently was involved in Duke Nukem Forever, which is good enough to fucking lynch the bastard.

I was expecting this movie to be pretty bad, and apparently I was right. I rarely laugh at a movie trailer, but this one made me laugh at how dumb and unoriginal it seemed.

THIS MOVIE DOES NOT SUCK.

Don't go in expecting the movie version of the messiah, but please, do NOT let this review scare you away from a film that was fun to watch, and honestly quite easy to enjoy.

MB does the movie no justice, and God does not even have a slight role in the movie. He doesn't speak, make himself known, or send angels down, and you sort of forget about the whole God thing anyway. Again, I would recommend this movie. I'm no critic, but I think I can safely say this movie would be fun for most, regardless of religious affiliation. (Unless you're hardcore... like REALLY, REALLY hardcore)

 

[Turtleboy1017]

Who knows, this could be 2010's first contribution to the 100 worst movies ever made.

Have you even SEEN this movie?

 

[Badassassin]

Once again, getting attacked for my views...

really? do you also walk into the ghetto and say "i am part of the kkk!!!"

and do you realize that if you say your an atheist, people don't try and force god down your throat (at least most normal people) but if you tell an atheist your religion he'll try to convince you how idiotic and how bad religion is. so please, don't go into your rant about religion, because its so tired and samey as all the other atheist speeches we've heard here.

I beg your pardon? Where are you getting your "facts" from? Firstly, you have no idea who I am or what kind of person I am, so to make a statement like your "KKK" one only proves your own ignorance, and has nothing to do with what I was talking about. It made no sense at all.

If you would be so kind as to explain why you said that to me, I would appreciate it.

And as far as walking around telling people I'm an Atheist is concerned, just who in the hell do you think you are making blanket statements like that? So you're saying that in all the research you've done (I'm assuming that you've done extensive research into Atheism, otherwise making a statement like that was very foolish) you can conclusively say that all Athiests will try to force their beliefs on other people, even to a greater degree than religious types doing the same, and indeed will do so with condescension and insults?

I'd like to see where you got that information from, unless of course you just made it up and are basically talking out of your ass. So which is it, fact or fiction?

And as far as my "rant" is concerned, my friend you have yet to hear one from me. Not once have I ever called someone an idiot for their religious beliefs. Misinformed and misguided perhaps, but I would never stoop to such juvenile statements.

I could spend all day talking about how religion poisons everything, and back up every statement with histortical and proveable facts.

How about you? I've already said it once, if you want to get into it with me you'd better be prepared.

Attack me again, see what happens.

1) i said that because if you throw that sort of stuff out into the wind, your just going to get it right back in your face. i don't care what you think but you just don't say things like that, its just rude.
2)it is a blanket statement based on my expierience. yes i have seen religious people come down on atheists for their lack of faith, but i've seen more atheists to come down on religious people for their faith, and with a much more pretentious and condescending arguement, probably because theirs is more informed. with people i know, atheism is just a way to feel high and mighty.
3) "misguided" and "misinformed" are just more condescending ways of calling someone an idiot.
" no no, i didn't call him retarded, i called him mentally challenged, because that's so much better."