Escape to the Movies: Centurion

[Wedlock49]

I think that anyone who enjoys movies filled with blood and tits are dumb jock douche-bags.

See, I can do it too!

 

[squid5580]

Man, I am so angry that Bob called me an idiot sheep last week for going to see Eat Pray Love! RAGE! Wait, what movie is everyone up in arms about, again?

The one question I have for everyone so butthurt over Bob ripping on 'them' (i.e., they happened to be part of the general population that went to see The Expendables for a change, so now it's personal) is this: how many times on this very site have you either started, or participated in a thread decrying some popular piece of entertainment you thought sucked, and how many times have you insulted whole groups of people who liked said piece? This includes phrases like "emo fags" or "screaming tween girls" (for Twilight). No one seems to have a problem with flinging out the insults to whole groups of people just because of what entertains them, but the minute it's dished back out, they start bawling like they were beaten up and had their lunch money stolen.

And even if you go "but Bob is a critic!", guess what? Critics do this all the time! Whether they're Roger Ebert, A.O. Scott, or Armond White, they'll hurl out insults to those they deem fit quite regularly (and while sometimes it crosses the line, I don't think anything Bob said was even close to that case). I happened to like Star Trek last year, yet didn't mind that he got all in a tizzy about it (mostly because I agreed that the script was aneurysm-inducingly stupid, and had to have the actors and director salvage it). And that was when there wasn't a movie that he was passionate about coming out the same week and getting overlooked.

Which reminds me: Damn it, I'm a huge Neill Marshall fan, but won't get to see Centurion because my town blows, and won't show anything in the theater unless it's had 800 million commercials!

P.S.: Bob, while the boob-mentioning for Piranha 3-D is a lot more appropriate this week, is it possible to give it a rest for awhile?

i think real reason ppl r pissed (well at least me when i first saw the expendables vid)is that as a critic BOB seemed the most "human" if im making any sense. as a critic he would praise originality and artistic vision, but wasn't afraid to show his "normal" side and say HEY ITS GOT TITS (for lack of a better term). case and point this review about priranas 3d thats pretty much what he said.

now with this in mind he is A LOT more relatable as a critic and therefore his opinions hold a little bit more with people watching his reviews. (at least to me) . so when he simply insults everyone who watched the movie it seems like a betrayal of sorts.

now this review ticked me off too, mainly because he said pirhanas 3d was "good" simply because it had gore and boobs, and really giving no other reason as to why its "better" than expendables.

now dont get me wrong i didnt like the expendables and i though scot pilgrim was WAY WAY better, but i think it was quite petty to insult everyone for seeing it.

No you don't get it. It isn't just about the tits that made Piranha good (for a B rated horror flick). I don't know when it happened but it isn't hard to guess why but these types of movies hitting the theatres have been watered down. They get slapped with a 14A rating and everything gets nerfed. To compensate they try to throw in a "good story" which ends up being just as terrible as any other of these types of movies. Piranha goes back to the roots. Forget things like story or character development. It is all about the gore and the boobs. Just like Friday the 13th (old ones) and a slew of movies like it back then. We want to see Jason sticking people with a sword. We don't want to know about how her father dressed up as Santa and died in the chimney cuz we don't care. Jason (or in this case the piranha) are the stars. And most movies of this genre forget that and focus on the heroes.

 

[SamStar42]

Im pretty sure he does not give a damn what you think of him please stop talking like your someone important it makes you look like an ass,and 2nd of all thats not a jock pic its a moron pick and judging by the fact you missed that I think it fits you perfectly

Of course it's a jock you fucking idiot, it's been used as a picture for one before. A jock/frat boy, stop pretending to be the smarter one here when you're pulling arguments out of your arse.

And to everyone else: Why the fuck should people let it go when Bob's obviously not going to? I wasn't annoyed because he didn't like it, I'm annoyed because he insulted people that did, stated that they were worthless and then in this review states a movie was better because it has tits. Oh, and completely misjudged why we were pissed off at him. Get that?

 

[squid5580]

I think that anyone who enjoys movies filled with blood and tits are dumb jock douche-bags.

See, I can do it too!

Congratulations. You have described my exact mentality when I go see a movie like Piranha. Well except maybe the jock part. Am I cheering for the Piranha instead of the nice guy hero? Yep I'm a douchebag because that is exactly what I am doing. Do I want a deep relevant storyline with character development? Fuck no the more time they spend talking is less time I get to see what I paid money to see. Tits and gore. I don't understand what anyone means by jock though so I don't know if it applies or not.

So how different is that mentality to enjoy a flick like Piranha much different than the mentality required to enjoy a movie like The Expendables? You don't want Stallone re enacting Hamlet you want to see him shooting the bad guys don't you?

 

[chaos order]

Man, I am so angry that Bob called me an idiot sheep last week for going to see Eat Pray Love! RAGE! Wait, what movie is everyone up in arms about, again?

The one question I have for everyone so butthurt over Bob ripping on 'them' (i.e., they happened to be part of the general population that went to see The Expendables for a change, so now it's personal) is this: how many times on this very site have you either started, or participated in a thread decrying some popular piece of entertainment you thought sucked, and how many times have you insulted whole groups of people who liked said piece? This includes phrases like "emo fags" or "screaming tween girls" (for Twilight). No one seems to have a problem with flinging out the insults to whole groups of people just because of what entertains them, but the minute it's dished back out, they start bawling like they were beaten up and had their lunch money stolen.

And even if you go "but Bob is a critic!", guess what? Critics do this all the time! Whether they're Roger Ebert, A.O. Scott, or Armond White, they'll hurl out insults to those they deem fit quite regularly (and while sometimes it crosses the line, I don't think anything Bob said was even close to that case). I happened to like Star Trek last year, yet didn't mind that he got all in a tizzy about it (mostly because I agreed that the script was aneurysm-inducingly stupid, and had to have the actors and director salvage it). And that was when there wasn't a movie that he was passionate about coming out the same week and getting overlooked.

Which reminds me: Damn it, I'm a huge Neill Marshall fan, but won't get to see Centurion because my town blows, and won't show anything in the theater unless it's had 800 million commercials!

P.S.: Bob, while the boob-mentioning for Piranha 3-D is a lot more appropriate this week, is it possible to give it a rest for awhile?

i think real reason ppl r pissed (well at least me when i first saw the expendables vid)is that as a critic BOB seemed the most "human" if im making any sense. as a critic he would praise originality and artistic vision, but wasn't afraid to show his "normal" side and say HEY ITS GOT TITS (for lack of a better term). case and point this review about priranas 3d thats pretty much what he said.

now with this in mind he is A LOT more relatable as a critic and therefore his opinions hold a little bit more with people watching his reviews. (at least to me) . so when he simply insults everyone who watched the movie it seems like a betrayal of sorts.

now this review ticked me off too, mainly because he said pirhanas 3d was "good" simply because it had gore and boobs, and really giving no other reason as to why its "better" than expendables.

now dont get me wrong i didnt like the expendables and i though scot pilgrim was WAY WAY better, but i think it was quite petty to insult everyone for seeing it.

No you don't get it. It isn't just about the tits that made Piranha good (for a B rated horror flick). I don't know when it happened but it isn't hard to guess why but these types of movies hitting the theatres have been watered down. They get slapped with a 14A rating and everything gets nerfed. To compensate they try to throw in a "good story" which ends up being just as terrible as any other of these types of movies. Piranha goes back to the roots. Forget things like story or character development. It is all about the gore and the boobs. Just like Friday the 13th (old ones) and a slew of movies like it back then. We want to see Jason sticking people with a sword. We don't want to know about how her father dressed up as Santa and died in the chimney cuz we don't care. Jason (or in this case the piranha) are the stars. And most movies of this genre forget that and focus on the heroes.

well bob seemd to berate expendables for simply being an action romp, isnt somewhat hipocritical to praise a movie that simply does the the same thing. i mean expendables had explosions and gun, while pirahanas had over the top gore (or so im told). they both simply put what everyone wanted to see a ramped it up to 11. i still didnt like expendables though

 

[Angron]

oh right, i thought you was on your period last week bob, but it turns otu thats just what your like...ok then...

also boobs and blood is a really good reason to review a movie good...what a great critic you are...

im sorry but ive been a long time fan of moviebob, but these past few weeks...they make me feel like i dont want to watch anymore...

 

[skeanthu]

Centurion is nothing but a Roman hack of Behind Enemy Lines, both boring, both suckie-suckie long time.

 

[Drejer43]

a Danish?

 

[Waif]

Interesting review, and quite a few valid points ^~^. I'm not sure if I will watch Centurion though. It doesn't really look like that much of an interesting movie.

 

[EchetusXe]

Ignoring all the obvious points I will just comment to say 'wtf?' to the penultimate-but-one slide. A monkey in The Expendables? haha, is that what it takes?

Dolph Lundgren with a monkey on his shoulder, both them sneering at some random bad guy and simultaneously grunting "insect!". That is the level of awesomeness required to make MovieBob happy with that film? Jeez, why don't you just ask for a zombie Clark Gable cameo? I never thought about it before but I guess that a monkey would have improved the film, hell a monkey would improve most films as long as the monkey was badass enough.

 

[Babitz]

So, boobs in movies is what sells a movie to Movie Blob. I guess he's butthurt that The Expendables didn't have enough to his liking (i.e. every second of the movie). I never really understood why does a crappy movie have to have boobs to be good. Oh, well, that's just me. Wish i knew more about that piranha movie except that it includes boobs. Great review.

 

[Mangue Surfer]

Ignoring all the obvious points I will just comment to say 'wtf?' to the penultimate-but-one slide. A monkey in The Expendables? haha, is that what it takes?

The monkey reference it's because part of the filme was filmed in Brazil and at Comic-Com Stallone make some monkey jokes. Some people don't like, they think is kind of biased.

Anyway, to keep things short, Bob is just being sarcastic.

 

[solidstatemind]

It's amusing to me how people posting here think that anyone gives two shits about their opinion.

You realize, by that sentiment, you're saying there is no point to a discussion forum whatsoever. Which is one of the selling points of this website ya know. Seems a bit inaccurate of an observation.

Plus, Bob reads the forums and even, on rare occassion, responds. Go read the 'Book of Eli' comment thread if you don't believe me. (Although I will admit, it's possible BoE broke him of that bad habit.)

OT: I think what bothers me is Bob's inability to see his own foibles. In this review, he specifically attempts to rebut all the outrage in regards to the Expendables review by dealing with a single issue that is easily defended (i.e. - not all films need to be high art) that really seemed secondary to most people. Sadly, this lowers my opinion of him as a reviewer.

Yes, everyone above has stated (over and over and over and over...) that it was his snotty, holier-than-thou insult that caused so much rage, but there were other valid criticisms as well: the one which he addressed here (which is still up for debate in my mind), the suggestion that his rage was more due to the failure of Scott Pilgrim at the box office rather than the 'undeserved success' of the Expendables, and even a few suggestions that Chipman went into Expendables with a chip on his shoulder, man... so he was going to blast the movie and willfully ignore possible positives.

But no, given the one-sided nature of this 'dialog', the ground he choses is that which is most easily defended... I suppose that's smart, but it doesn't do a thing for his credibility.

Bob, if you happen to read this, stop trying to justify your opinion about Expendables, particularly if you're going to turn around and heap praise (based only upon such puerile reasons as tits and carnage) on something that the vast majority of your colleagues found equally shitty. That comes off as a rather transparent attempt to say "Hey, see? I like bad movies, when they're well-done."

Admit your mistake, or at worst say nothing and move on. Everybody fucks up, from presidents and scholars to fratboys and rednecks- it's how they handle it that is telling. What you're doing now puts you more towards the bottom of the pack: it makes you look obnoxiously stubborn, and, frankly, less and less credible as time goes on.

 

[aeziir]

I love you moviebob, i love u.
Those who STILL defend the expendables: grow up and get over it.

PS. You're watching this to get HIS opinion, if you don't like it, don't watch it

 

[duchaked]

Centurion? really haven't heard much about it...but hmmm looks like I could wanna watch it
tho it does remind me how I watched Robin Hood...ugh

 

[Redratson]

Bob, get the fuck over yourself Im here to listen to a review not you ranting about hte Expendables, the people on the escapist want your reviewing back and for you to quit your little rage on the Expendables. We get it, you fucking hate it and you love piranha cause of Kelly Brooks, God I know I would. So in short get back to your reviews and act like Expendables never happened.

 

[adamtm]

.... if you don't like it, don't watch it

I am hereby obliged to inform you that the "if you don't like it dont X" is the worst "argument from -fuck you-" ever devised, just after "if you don't have any thing nice to say, dont say anything"

PS: If you don't like my post, don't read it. Just don't. I warn you, responding to my post in any negative manner will not be tolerated!

 

[Solarfox6]

Shut the hell up people, the Expendables sucked, only stupid fucks would like it, Piranha 3D is just mindless fun, bloody and SILLY that's probably why bob liked it so much. The expendables forgot it was a B-movie and took itself too seriously, unlike Piranha 3D which isn't trying to be '#1 movie of the summer' its just trying to be FUN. Remember that word? let me say it again FUN.

 

[pranabowjake]

still gotta say thankskilling still rules the b movies

 

[Necromancer1991]

I saw Doomsday recently and I will say it was entertaining (Combine Mad Max style psychos, Medieval Knights, and Zombie-esque plague victims and you get the idea) as far as Piranhas go I was expecting it to flop OR be a good B-movie. As for Centurion I was not aware it was coming out (But having seen the directors work you have piqued my interest)