Escape to the Movies: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

[Metalrocks]

yeah, more lens flare. if i ever going to watch it.

regarding this movie, had a feeling its just a silly version of them. and yes, i saw the brother grimm as well and i actually enjoyed it in a way. maybe because of the sexy monica.
so i guess i will rent this move on dvd.

 

[Soak]

Just yesterday i reconised this movie actually exists and i thought "what is this, is it actually meant to be a thing?".
When i saw this review now i thought "why has Bob or anyone fot the matter to spend time on this anyways?".

Well, for Star Wars, here's an interesting idea: How about, noone is going to watch this thing, so they won't make any money with it and the movie industry might even reconsider the current state of the arts and actually try to make better movies.
Hahaha, who am i kidding, like that's ever going to happen.

 

[Gunjester]

So fighting witches is misogynist now?

Bob's being sensitive again. But he means the more sign that beating women is shown as heroic which creeps him out. I'm sure if it was taken with more brains he'd be defending it.

 

[Lieju]

So fighting witches is misogynist now?

Didn't you know? every part of fiction where someone punch a women in the face is misogynist now! Punching a demon lady in the face as it trying to eat ya? Misogyny. Kill a women in an act of revenge because she killed your family? Misogyny.

edit. And if a women kills a man? It is not misandry. It just show her as a strong independent women.

In other news, Sleeping Beauty is the most offensive movie of all time, all the well meaning women are old, unattractive, or dead, Beauty (for being pretty of course) is cursed, and the main villain was a WITCH! HOW DARE THEY! Not to mention all of the women have to sit back and let the man in the movie take the spotlight despite doing all the work! Beauty is even saved by HIM!

Sleeping Beuty is pretty horribly offensive movie, though.

Going around kissing unconscious women who then have to repay this with sexual favours? Yeah, it's creepy and uncomfortable, and when I saw the movie as a kid I was vaguely offended, even though at the time I wasn't sure why.

Besides, I think lot of you are missing a point here.
All Bob says is that the whole thing makes him a bit uncomfortable, just like having a movie about slave owners heroically killing black people would.
And let's not forget the whole witch-hunt-idea is something that still happens, people are still being persecuted for being 'witches', and there are people arguing that persecuting people like that was justified to bring them Christianity.

Huh... and now I can't unsee that uncomfortable mysoginist undertone...

It isnt misogynist though, Bob is just flat out wrong here.

I haven't seen this movie, but generally speaking, it depends on how it's handled.
If the violence against women is fetishised and they are little more than something for the man to save and how the violence affect them is just glossed over...
Not to mention that if the previously cabable fighter becomes suddenly weak so she can be victimised and saved...

Yeah, problematic.

I can't be the only one who actually likes J.J. Abrahms.

(What's that? His movies make tons of money and sell tons of tickets at the box office? So I'm not the only one?)

It does seem to be a pretty common thing to poke fun at JJ's lens flare filmmaking. Yes, it's an annoying gimmick, but look past that and his movies are actually quite good. And anyone (I MEAN ANYONE) would be a better director than Lucas at this point.

Yeah, but my main issue is that I wouldn't like both Star Trek and Star Wars to have the same director. I had my issues with the 2009 Trek, but overall it was okay.

But I'd like Star Wars to be different. At least Lucas made interesting mistakes.

 

[Deathninja19]

I've gotta say, even Abrams is better than latter day Lucas. Would have preferred Guillermo del Toro, but at least it's not Michael Bay(though he would be a perfect fit for a Karen Traviss stormtrooper focused movie).

Oh damn you, I never considered Guillermo Del Toro and now he's all I can think about. Ah man especially since the Troll market in Hellboy 2 was basically an update of the Star Wars cantina scene.

 

[Warachia]

Sleeping Beauty is pretty horribly offensive movie, though.

Going around kissing unconscious women who then have to repay this with sexual favours? Yeah, it's creepy and uncomfortable, and when I saw the movie as a kid I was vaguely offended, even though at the time I wasn't sure why.

Besides, I think lot of you are missing a point here.
All Bob says is that the whole thing makes him a bit uncomfortable, just like having a movie about slave owners heroically killing black people would.
And let's not forget the whole witch-hunt-idea is something that still happens, people are still being persecuted for being 'witches', and there are people arguing that persecuting people like that was justified to bring them Christianity.

We watched two very separate movies then, the one I saw as a kid had something called character development between the two leads.

So does this happen in the movie? Do Hansel and Gretel kill witches to "bring them Christianity"? I haven't seen the movie but all evidence I've seen says they don't, so there shouldn't be an issue, this is making a link where there never was one to begin with, let's look at a horribly offensive movie by comparison, Birth of a Nation, which put the Ku Klux Klan in a positive light because the black people in the movie were depicted as horrible human beings (and apparently was also a recruiting tool for the KKK), the reason Hansel and Gretel should not be a problem is because THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS WITCHES.
There's nobody to persecute here, and as for real life witch hunts that still happen, I haven't heard of any but I'll take your word for it, that's certainly terrible, but considering this movie has nothing to do with those it's again making a link where there isn't one, it's like saying Iron Man was offensive or made you uncomfortable because terrorist attacks happen in real life.

 

[Lieju]

Sleeping Beauty is pretty horribly offensive movie, though.

Going around kissing unconscious women who then have to repay this with sexual favours? Yeah, it's creepy and uncomfortable, and when I saw the movie as a kid I was vaguely offended, even though at the time I wasn't sure why.

Besides, I think lot of you are missing a point here.
All Bob says is that the whole thing makes him a bit uncomfortable, just like having a movie about slave owners heroically killing black people would.
And let's not forget the whole witch-hunt-idea is something that still happens, people are still being persecuted for being 'witches', and there are people arguing that persecuting people like that was justified to bring them Christianity.

We watched two very separate movies then, the one I saw as a kid had something called character development between the two leads.

What, in Sleeping Beauty? I'm not sure what you mean by leads in this case, but Aurora and the Prince don't even have character. And do they even know each other?

So does this happen in the movie? Do Hansel and Gretel kill witches to "bring them Christianity"? I haven't seen the movie but all evidence I've seen says they don't, so there shouldn't be an issue, this is making a link where there never was one to begin with, let's look at a horribly offensive movie by comparison, Birth of a Nation, which put the Ku Klux Klan in a positive light because the black people in the movie were depicted as horrible human beings (and apparently was also a recruiting tool for the KKK), the reason Hansel and Gretel should not be a problem is because THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS WITCHES.

Unfortunately, not everyone agrees. Just think of all the idiots who rage against stuff like Harry Potter because it's 'trying to brainwash children to Satanism'. Or on a more horrifying note, something like the child witches of Nigeria, where Christianity has mixed with the old beliefs with nasty results. http://www.steppingstonesnigeria.org/witchcraft.html

And on a related note, one of my close family members dated a woman who got involved in a religious sect that encouraged her to cut ties with my relative because he was 'using Satan's power to make her doubt', and I've been called a satanist for owning pet snakes and tarantulas... (And for being gay)

There's nobody to persecute here, and as for real life witch hunts that still happen, I haven't heard of any but I'll take your word for it, that's certainly terrible, but considering this movie has nothing to do with those it's again making a link where there isn't one, it's like saying Iron Man was offensive or made you uncomfortable because terrorist attacks happen in real life.

It's not something to boycot the movie over, but taking real life events and presenting them as a black-and-white fight always makes me uncomfortable.

Just like using something like the terrorists or the nazis as the one-dimensional bad guys who are just in for it for the evulz, or glorifying something like the crusaders leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

 

[Gearhead mk2]

Honestly Bob, given your entrencment in gamer culture, I'm kinda suprised you're kinda suprised that no-one has noticed the whole "heroes beating the crap out of a specificly targeted and unfairly stigmatized group with vastly superior weaponry" thing. It's been happening in games for years now. Still not by any means a good thing, but it's not really suprising anymore.

 

[Warachia]

What, in Sleeping Beauty? I'm not sure what you mean by leads in this case, but Aurora and the Prince don't even have character. And do they even know each other?

Not for very long and the character development is pretty shallow but they do meet prior to finding out how the other is, they don't even get married in the end, the film ends with the prince courting her.

So does this happen in the movie? Do Hansel and Gretel kill witches to "bring them Christianity"? I haven't seen the movie but all evidence I've seen says they don't, so there shouldn't be an issue, this is making a link where there never was one to begin with, let's look at a horribly offensive movie by comparison, Birth of a Nation, which put the Ku Klux Klan in a positive light because the black people in the movie were depicted as horrible human beings (and apparently was also a recruiting tool for the KKK), the reason Hansel and Gretel should not be a problem is because THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS WITCHES.

Unfortunately, not everyone agrees. Just think of all the idiots who rage against stuff like Harry Potter because it's 'trying to brainwash children to Satanism'. Or on a more horrifying note, something like the child witches of Nigeria, where Christianity has mixed with the old beliefs with nasty results. http://www.steppingstonesnigeria.org/witchcraft.html

The reason this movie doesn't bug me in relation to those is because it's using the same word with an entirely separate meaning, would you feel better if the movie didn't call them "witches"? Would "Hansel and Gretel: Sorceress Hunters" make all of this go away?

And on a related note, one of my close family members dated a woman who got involved in a religious sect that encouraged her to cut ties with my relative because he was 'using Satan's power to make her doubt', and I've been called a satanist for owning pet snakes and tarantulas... (And for being gay)

You have my sympathy.

There's nobody to persecute here, and as for real life witch hunts that still happen, I haven't heard of any but I'll take your word for it, that's certainly terrible, but considering this movie has nothing to do with those it's again making a link where there isn't one, it's like saying Iron Man was offensive or made you uncomfortable because terrorist attacks happen in real life.

It's not something to boycot the movie over, but taking real life events and presenting them as a black-and-white fight always makes me uncomfortable.

Just like using something like the terrorists or the nazis as the one-dimensional bad guys who are just in for it for the evulz, or glorifying something like the crusaders leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

If it really does leave a bad taste in your mouth there's nothing I can really say against that, but you understand that it's not something you should put in a review of the movie let alone making that almost half the review, a review of a product should be a review of the product, it shouldn't bring in outside material unless there is a direct connection that the product makes between those two, from what I've seen, nothing in the movie is a real life event, which is why it won't bug me if it's portrayed as a black and white fight.

 

[NortherWolf]

Gotta point this out: WHY in blazing fuck is teh Director of Star Trek doing Starw Wars???

Stricly from a standpoint of Franchise: All Directorial opinions and Talents laid to rest THAT is teh question. There is agood reason different directors handle each of the Seperate Avengers, well, SEPERATELY. And Joss Whedon for all of them together.

Wars and Trek are Diametric Opposites, and should be tackled by different people, though as Somebody pointed out, Abrams basically mad a star Wars movie out of Trek Already.

I hope he does a good job, so he can be too busy to make another Trek movie, and Trek can go to somebody who can do TOS with the story it needs to back the Cast, whom I really Liked.

They're both spacy fantasy, pretty much. No matter how much ST fans scream about it.
I mean, come on..A stable of the ST franchise is a magical box that creates everything you need.
Or Space Gods living in a wormhole.
Etc, etc etc.

 

[Mosstromo]

Well, Van Helsing is a fair warning on this kind of film.
Besides, Movie Bob is right, DEAD SNOW is really pretty good.

 

[StriderShinryu]

I actually just got out of seeing H&G and I must say I went in with next to zero expectations and I loved it.

If you don't like gore don't see it. Otherwise give it a go. I found it to be a good ride and it did not over stay it's welcome. I got a Buffy vibe from it and the weaponry was really over the top. It was funny as well.

Excellent to hear. That's the sort of thing I was hoping for when I started seeing the trailers around.

BTW, awesome avatar.

 

[Winnosh]

I thought the Abrams Startrek movie was a good movie but a piss poor Startrek movie.

That said Starwars is a different beast and I could see him working out in it.

 

[Ickorus]

So fighting witches is misogynist now?

All this bleeding heart, holier-than-thou journalism on this website is getting very irritating now.

I support equal rights and am dead against discrimination but the sort of shit I see on this website where people just look for things to whine about and display just how totally open and accepting they are strikes me as extremely hollow and almost as if they're projecting.

I might end up watching this movie, I find that often times the more vehemently Bob bashes a movie the more worth watching it is.

 

[Warachia]

snip

I just wanted to clear something up about the movie now that I've seen it, MovieBob is full of shit, there are witch hunts in the movie (where people accuse each other of being a witch with no evidence other than some random towns persons testimony) and these are NEVER portrayed in a positive light, The villains also have a reason for doing what they are doing, Gretel gets beaten up and nursed back to health just as much and just as many times as Hansel (if not less) and the evil witches are portrayed more as monsters than they are people (and they also look like monsters), if you took a random screenshot of some of them you wouldn't know they are female, the only reason you do know they are women is because all witches are women, most look like that demon god thing from Sinister.

 

[zombiejoe]

Wow...really?

I mean, I like your work, man, you're an entertaining gentleman, but come on!

This movie is meant to be stupid fun, and it is stupid fun. It's action packed, it's got a good enough plot that holds things together, and for as dumb as a premise as it is, it treats itself with a fair balance of silliness and seriousness that helps bring the viewer into the world of the film.

Now I get that you can find the subject matter of witch hunts a bit offensive, the witch hunts were a terrible time for early America, but you need to understand that those are not the witches they're hunting in this movie. This movie takes place in a world that is separate from our own, a world where women would CHOOSE to turn themselves into evil magic users and wreek havoc on the world. The movie isn't about beating up women, it's about beating up WITCHES. There is even a scene where townspeople try to kill an accused witch, and the protagonists stop them and explain how fear mongering wasn't going to help with their problems.

Are you saying we can never have a movie involving fighting witches because that's somehow sexist?

 

[Lieju]

snip

I just wanted to clear something up about the movie now that I've seen it, MovieBob is full of shit, there are witch hunts in the movie (where people accuse each other of being a witch with no evidence other than some random towns persons testimony) and these are NEVER portrayed in a positive light, The villains also have a reason for doing what they are doing, Gretel gets beaten up and nursed back to health just as much and just as many times as Hansel (if not less) and the evil witches are portrayed more as monsters than they are people (and they also look like monsters), if you took a random screenshot of some of them you wouldn't know they are female, the only reason you do know they are women is because all witches are women, most look like that demon god thing from Sinister.

That sounds okay, then.

I haven't seen this movie, and it's doubtful I will, though, at least not on theaters.
Why are the witches all women, though? I'm not saying it's misogynistic or anything, but is the witchcraft in the movie something just the women can do, or are they monsters that happen to take the form of women?

 

[Warachia]

snip

I just wanted to clear something up about the movie now that I've seen it, MovieBob is full of shit, there are witch hunts in the movie (where people accuse each other of being a witch with no evidence other than some random towns persons testimony) and these are NEVER portrayed in a positive light, The villains also have a reason for doing what they are doing, Gretel gets beaten up and nursed back to health just as much and just as many times as Hansel (if not less) and the evil witches are portrayed more as monsters than they are people (and they also look like monsters), if you took a random screenshot of some of them you wouldn't know they are female, the only reason you do know they are women is because all witches are women, most look like that demon god thing from Sinister.

That sounds okay, then.

I haven't seen this movie, and it's doubtful I will, though, at least not on theaters.
Why are the witches all women, though? I'm not saying it's misogynistic or anything, but is the witchcraft in the movie something just the women can do, or are they monsters that happen to take the form of women?

In the movie it's more of a bloodline thing, you can use dark magic if you are the descendant (or related) to an evil witch, if you use dark magic, your body starts showing what they call "rot" (it makes you look like the guy from sinister), the longer you use this magic, the worse off your body looks, and you can't use dark magic for anything other than an evil purpose, because all of the spells are are stuff like "strangle" "blow up" "immolate", that sort of thing.

The witches are female just because witches by definition are female, and it's highly hinted (if not outright stated) that men can use a form of magic too, because there is at least one guy in the film with his own magical defences (there's a reason he doesn't rot that the movie explains) I don't know if it works the same way as witches, for the most part it just seems like female magic users are just more common, after all, the troll in the movie is the only troll Hansel and Gretel have ever seen and they've been hunting witches (the troll is a henchman of one of the witches) for a long time.

The movie is more of a popcorn flick, you get exactly what the trailer promised, I'd recommend buying it cheaply and putting it on in the background while you are doing something else, although why they didn't show that troll in any trailer is beyond me, he was one of the best parts of the movie.

 

[Joos]

I came here for a movie review, not to listen to misconstrued and offensively over sensitive PC rantings. Seeing Hansel and Gretchen becoming witch hunters in a fictional universe, where witches are real, because of a traumatic childhood experience is misogynistic? Really? Right...