Escape to the Movies: Ninja Assassin

[P.A. Master]

lol, giving tree. Yeah, Ninja Assassin didn't look that interesting to me either. I love the 1 ninja vs an army of ninjas theory.

[edit]

and didn't ninjas deal in stealth assassinations? that makes the title redundant.

Ohoho, thank god someone else noticed. Yeah, after hearing from another popular Escapist employee with a video column and a Trilby that Ninja's had been greatly bastardized in their original format by today's culture, I did a little digging.

To quote, "simple peasant spies mainly concerned with undercover espionage and guerrilla warfare," but the assassination point isn't far off. Enough to make the title redundant, IMO.

I've got to say, though, the original ninjas are so far detached from the modern day ninjas that it's practically a Nosferatu vs. Edward Cullen scenario, and any sort of attempt to justify a comparison just couldn't be done. Not shouldn't, but is pretty much an impossibility due to the radical changes therein.

 

[DTWolfwood]

Huh. For some reason, I actually expected this last week.

Ditto

And the review was almost exactly what i expected. XD still want to see it! i want to be entertained for however long this is and not have to remember it later!

...and any sort of attempt to justify a comparison just couldn't be done. Not shouldn't, but is pretty much an impossibility due to the radical changes therein.

i beg to differ. Professional Hitmen have the same job description and so do most Special Force Operators. Everything these modern counterparts do almost exactly mirror what the Ninjas of old were meant for. They are often called to 'remove' prominent figures, as were the Ninjas and their nemesis, the samurai. And like the Ninjas, you never hear about their handy work

 

[Cosplay Horatio]

What's better, this or Speed Racer? I'm serious, btw.

I haven't seen Ninja Assassin yet so based on Movie Bob's review alone its a matter of which film is more entertaining.

... I say Ninja Assassin.

That Ninja Cliche about losing power in groups as compared to fighting one on one isn't a theory. It's fact! The groups of ninjas from a clan are just your typical grunts who only know basic abilities and have no special powers, techniques, or specialty weapons. The Ninja or enemy they target whether or not the enemy target is a ninja will be a master to their skill. So when the grunts aren't enough to take down an enemy it gets to a showdown with a master where the best skills, techniques, weapons, defensive tools, environments, and will to live can make the fight last from as little as 5 minutes to a half-hour.

I can't believe such a book (The Giving Tree) was written with that kind of stuff in it.

 

[JaredXE]

I thought it was an entertaining movie.....no depth, but entertaining. Except for the big Chekov's Gun they used at the end that you could see coming a mile away.

No, my biggest disappointment, and one my friends share, is that this movie was marketed as a Wachowski Bros. movie....and it ain't. Oh sure, they helped produce it, and supplied Rain, but it just doesn't have the presence and obvious attention the brothers put into their movies.

Yeah, I'm sure if I did a little bit of research I could have figured this out ahead of time, but just from the ads, posters and general buzz, this thing was a Wachowski flick so that more people would flock to the theatres than would have normally.

EDIT: Oh yeah, the Giving Tree. I never did like that book. Even as a kid, while I didn't understand the concept of abusive relationships, I did think that the kid was just using the tree. I never understood why the tree never told the kid to fuck off. Hell, it was written by Shel Silverstein, based on his catalogue of creative works, the tree SHOULD have told the kid to fuck off, then proceed to light a doobie and have a threesome(treesome?).

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Facts:

1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

That's all you need to know.

 

[The Great JT]

This may come off as a bit shallow (not the word I wanted, but close enough), but it's an action flick with ninjas in it. I'm sure there are ways to make it a smart movie, but again, it's just an action flick with ninjas. We go to see fights, explosions and ninjas. And in that regard, it doesn't disappoint. I'm sure it won't win any awards for story or anything, but will it fail to entertain us with ninjas trying to decapitate one another? No.

 

[Quad08]

I saw this film and loved it. Sure its cliched, mindless, gory and all that other stuff that critics don't like but it is also fun to watch.

 

[Cavouku]

lol, giving tree. Yeah, Ninja Assassin didn't look that interesting to me either. I love the 1 ninja vs an army of ninjas theory.

[edit]

and didn't ninjas deal in stealth assassinations? that makes the title redundant.

I think it's a ninja that kills other ninjas, so, not so much. But I can see where you thought that, that was also my dad's first thought.

I'm going to see this, because immediately after seeing the commercial I thought to myself; "I don't care about plot, dialog or characters. I wanna' see ninja fights."

I'll probably see this movie, even if I forget about it later. Just because all the important aspects of the movie die out when I see the ninja fights.

 

[DJPirtu]

...I don't think the word "review" is appropriate here.

What makes you say that?

 

[Punisher A.J.]

Ooh! Ooh! I have an explanation for the many vs 1 Ninja issue.

Part 1: Ninjas are masters of fighting multiple opponents at once.
Part 2: Ninjas work alone, and as such do not fight well with other ninjas.
part 3: Ninjas aren't good at fighting one on one, due to all the awesome they have at fighting against groups.

Put these things together, and it makes sense. Those epic one-on-one battles? Not nearly as epic when you realise they're only appearing to be epic 'cause both parties suck. =p

God what passes for ninjas kills me.
How to tell the ninja your fighting is not a ninja.
1) It looks awesome. I.E. you can see it!
2) a group of people are fighting it.
3) it sucks one on one.
4) its using magic. (you know who i'm targting)
5) YOU ARE ALIVE!!!

the only game that explains why ninjas are like this is tenchu z which explains that the guards were soooo bad that the ninjas were never challenged. so the skill level went down.

Ryu Hayabusa, snake eyes, and who ever any one knows...6) you know who they are (damn yuffie and naruto shout out there names in the first 5 seconds of battle and where bright cloths)

 

[Scrythe]

When you breezed through the movie in the first few seconds of this review, I was snipping down my "Ninja Movie Cliche Checklist" and this movie pretty much nails each one. Now, I haven't seen it yet, but the only cliches it's missing are magic-casting ninjas, ninjas that stab and/or do things with shadows, ninja sex, and the underage preteen ninja.

If all of those things are actually in this movie, I wouldn't be surprised.

 

[Lunar Shadow]

As for the multiple ninja thing: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ConservationOfNinjutsu?from=Main.ConservationOfNinjitsu

But yeah, I actually got to see this movie for free( buddy works as a projectionist) and I enjoyed it quite a b it. Sure, it was about as deep as a puddle, but that wasn't the point. It was just a mindless action flick that held no pretensions of being anything else.

 

[PxDn Ninja]

lol, giving tree. Yeah, Ninja Assassin didn't look that interesting to me either. I love the 1 ninja vs an army of ninjas theory.

[edit]

and didn't ninjas deal in stealth assassinations? that makes the title redundant.

Nope, Ninja actually specialized in tactical espionage. Stealth assassination was just a small part of what Ninja actually did.

 

[felicia_angel]

I liked the Giving Tree...more for the fact that I didn't look for a reason behind it. It was about someone being selfish and someone who cared for them despite that. OMG, THE TREE IS A PARENT!!!!

...and yeah, the whole ninja thing is only fun in some places, but I doubt using it like this would create a good movie unless there was plot. No plot=no see.

 

[SkullCap]

I had the feeling this would be what I call a "Snack Flick"

Snack Flick: A film thats appealing, but it doesn't fill you up regarding story, interesting characters, or unique plot. Its like a snack, just a little something to sustain you until your next meal. In other words you watch a film like this for the sake of holding you down until you see another film.

BTW, I was in 2nd grade the first time I heard about the Giving Tree and I even when I was little I thought the boy was a jerk.

 

[The_Real_Norrin_Radd]

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1829043

 

[Jim Grim]

Ninja Assassin

This week MovieBob takes a look at Ninja Assassin...sort of.

Watch Video

I bet you reviewed that just so you'd have time to put that Giving Tree bit in.

 

[A random person]

...I don't think the word "review" is appropriate here.

What makes you say that?

While he did talk about the movie, he didn't have much to say about it and talked more about ninjas in general. He also went on a random but good tangent with The Giving Tree.

Of course, it was an off-the-cuff joke, though you gotta admit there was less content about the movie itself than with most of his reviws.

 

[esperandote]

too many too long jokes. good review part

 

[Brotherofwill]

Nice vid.

Never heard of the Giving Tree story, but the tree really does act a little...well extreme.

Spoiler

Also reminds me of an awesome shirt from a shop in Berlin.

Spoiler