Escape to the Movies: Ninja Assassin

Doug

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Apr 23, 2008
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I have to ask about "Avatar" (given it was mentioned in the intro ;)) I've heard alittle about this movie, and it looks good, but that is no real proof of quality; basically, does it look like it's shaping up well enough?

(and I would talk about the Ninja movie, but...meh)
 

rayen020

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May 20, 2009
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I don't particularly like ninjas or even pirates for that matter. I think space marines (the ones who descended from The Emperor, thank you) and robots are way cooler anyway. also dwarves I think dwarves are pretty badass, even before i read lord of the rings i thought dwarves were cool. Little guys with axes who dig for treasure? Awesome. but i digress.

As i said i have no great love for ninjas, they're cool sure but i can think of cooler things. I will still go to see this movie because even if it isn't great for production values i want to see more stuff like it. in essence i will see this movie becasue i like what it represents. the idea of spagetti action movies. Spagetti action, like westerns, are set in presenmt day or something, not a whole lotta depth but some cool fight scenes and adding some badass points to an actor i may or may not already like. Like Shoot'em Up, ninja assassin is one of those movies where i can spend seven bucks at my local theatre, sit down get two hours of entertainment and walk out.

it doesn't require a big commitment, i don't have to worry if it's going to be sold out or not, it's not like some deep plotted movie where i have to think about the meaning (SCREW YOU MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS!), it's just mindless fun for a little while then i go back to the grind of real life. sure i'll forget about it five minutes later but sometimes all you want from a movie is a couple of hours of entertainment. and frankly if we can get some good action movies that are slightly original thats good too.

I mean think about this. Sure this is a bunch of ninja cliches all lined up, but it isn't a remake that has been done before, it isn't a sequel, it isn't a book adapted to movie it's just a film written to be a film that is in a sense original.

but yeah that 30 second reveiw at the beginning is pretty much all you need.
 

13lackfriday

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Feb 10, 2009
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Koeryn said:
Ooh! Ooh! I have an explanation for the many vs 1 Ninja issue.

Part 1: Ninjas are masters of fighting multiple opponents at once.
Part 2: Ninjas work alone, and as such do not fight well with other ninjas.
part 3: Ninjas aren't good at fighting one on one, due to all the awesome they have at fighting against groups.

Put these things together, and it makes sense. Those epic one-on-one battles? Not nearly as epic when you realise they're only appearing to be epic 'cause both parties suck. =p
Y'know what?
...That's pretty infallible logic.

Well done sir, you've just excused the writers for their shameful and lazy subscription to mookery [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Mooks?from=Main.Mook].
 

Awexsome

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Mar 25, 2009
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Well I guess this means it's exactly what I thought it would be so I probably won't go out of my way to see it. I'd probably enjoy it and forget like the review said but... meh. I'd rather not bother going out in the first place.

And besides whenever I think of ninjas the first thing that comes to my mind is the "Ask a Ninja" Ninja. I've watch hours of that damn podcast. I find it hilarious.
 

DracoSuave

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Jan 26, 2009
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I don't even understand the point to a review.

The movie is obviously a dumb ninja action movie. If you like that, you'll enjoy it. (I did.) If you don't, you won't.

Really, the review was good enough there, and should have reviewed some other movie instead.
 

Koeryn

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Mar 2, 2009
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13lackfriday said:
Koeryn said:
Ooh! Ooh! I have an explanation for the many vs 1 Ninja issue.

Part 1: Ninjas are masters of fighting multiple opponents at once.
Part 2: Ninjas work alone, and as such do not fight well with other ninjas.
part 3: Ninjas aren't good at fighting one on one, due to all the awesome they have at fighting against groups.

Put these things together, and it makes sense. Those epic one-on-one battles? Not nearly as epic when you realise they're only appearing to be epic 'cause both parties suck. =p
Y'know what?
...That's pretty infallible logic.

Well done sir, you've just excused the writers for their shameful and lazy subscription to mookery [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Mooks?from=Main.Mook].
Why thank you good sir, i do try. =D
 

Captain Pancake

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May 20, 2009
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Oh, how I wish it had been Avatar...

You know, I'll just revel in the irony if it's as bad as Titanic.

James Cameron: "I'll keep it under wraps until it's release, that'll build the hype!"
Universal response: "That was it? Wow, Cameron, I think your directing prowess disappeared with your beard..."

It'll probably gross to hell anyway though.

Here's wishing it'll be good, but I have a bad feeling...
 
Feb 13, 2008
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MovieBob said:
Ninja Assassin

This week MovieBob takes a look at Ninja Assassin...sort of.

Watch Video
Interestingly, I just learned that J. Michael Stravinski did this screenplay as complete re-write of the original in 58 hours.

Take from that what you will.
 

MovieBob

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The_root_of_all_evil said:
Interestingly, I just learned that J. Michael Stravinski did this screenplay as complete re-write of the original in 58 hours.

Take from that what you will.
Yeah... when the screening had concluded I was sitting in the general-area of a dozen or so other critics, and when Straczynski's name came up in the credits I'd say about 2/3rds of us burst out laughing right there on the spot... NOBDOY could believe that someone had paid a "name" writer for what we just watched.
 

pumasuit

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Aug 7, 2009
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thanks for spending half the time talking about nothing. really bob? the giving tree? enjoy the rest of your time on the escapist.
 

notoriousmr.J

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Nov 23, 2009
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As far as the movie goes I watched it and thought it was funny as hell.
I don't care what anyone says or if the movie was supposed to be a comedy, any film in which the final climactic battle includes Hummers equipped with fifty cal's, a helicopter, a guy with an RPG and enough ninjas to take over a small African nation is hilarious.

And the giving tree is about humanities relationship to mother nature how we as a species will take everything we can from whatever will provide it without regard to the well being of what we are taking from.
 

Falseprophet

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Jan 13, 2009
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MovieBob said:
For some reason, there was always something just short of menacing about Richard Scarry's illustrations to me as a kid... particularly the thousand-yard-stare on the cats.
I loved Scarry's books as a sprat. Just huge detailed pictures with all these labels all over them. They were like the pre-school version of Star Wars Cross-Sections or Star Trek Technical Manuals.

MovieBob said:
As to ninjas... the best collection of "ninja scenes" I've ever come across was in a 1983 Chinese actioner called "Duel to The Death." You can see small portions of most of the more "WTF?" ninja-moments in the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB0wri54vq0&feature=related
That movie was so cheesy awesome, I had to pick it up on DVD. The pro-Chinese/anti-Japanese propaganda was hilarious as well.

(Duel to the Death is a Chinese movie about a regular duel between China's greatest swordsman and Japan's greatest swordsman. Of course, the Japanese play dirty pool and send ninjas to capture China's greatest martial artists during the tournament.)

As for Ninja Assassin, I really can't say anything different from Bob's take. He's right, it's basically a cheapass 80s ninja flick with a budget. I actually liked Rain as a stoic badass with a bit of dry wit. At least, I'd watch NA again before one of his crappy music videos. And the British Interpol agent was pretty cool too (he seemed to be the only guy in the movie who could kill ninjas with guns).
 

XShrike

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Sep 11, 2007
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I found The Giving Tree when it was first read to me in school as a kid.

Now people seem to love Rainbow Fish and I find that book just as off putting.
 

The Dream Walker

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Oct 9, 2008
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I enjoyed this film, but yeah... definitely a guilty pleasure film and definitely not for everyone. People who enjoy ninjas/ninja flicks from the 80's should check it out because the action is awesome. People who don't enjoy ninja flicks should avoid it cause it won't do a damn thing for you