Escape to the Movies: The Road

[Aptus]

Damn that beeping is annoying...

I'm gonna be the person who points out that the Mona Lisa is painted on wood. Therefore it probably could not be made into a paper airplane...

And sure you could, you would just have to make the wood into paper first

 

[SomeBritishDude]

You seem to be in a minority Bob. I'll take my chances with this one.

 

[Treblaine]

Well, this hasn't encouraged me to see the film but it sure has encouraged me to read the book.

I think it would be good to compare and contrast this with the other great Cormac McCarthy work 'No Country for Old Men' that got an Oscar nominated film adaptation that I believe is fairly faithful to the book.

 

[sunpop]

Hold on bob normally I agree with you but someone more annoying than Anakin now you are just being crazy. Now it might just be because that kid reminded me of my equally annoying neighbor but I wanted to slowly choke the life from Anakin can your "The Boy" top that?

I did however enjoy the 12 angry men thrown in there for I was forced to watch it in law class and dissect it and it was actually a damn good movie.

 

[KeyMaster45]

I've recently grown rather enthralled by this series and I just have one question about it. Why is it that periodically through the video when he stops for prolonged periods of time on a picture that it slowly loses its resolution and goes all blurry. From my end it just looks like he might be using a crappy video compression, is it a planned effect he slides in there because its rather annoying and really F's with my vision.

 

[JayDig]

I don't even notice the bleeps over Bob. Maybe I'm so desensitized to profanity that I don't even notice when the profanity is obviously censored.

Maybe this is just the common language of the internet. I have a pretty prejudiced view of online addicts as socially-inept loners who don't know how to make a point or draw attention to themselves except by being as crude as possible, and I'm sure that bleeping one in every five words is something these people get. But you're better than that...

Using profanity for emphasis when you feel strongly about something is what pretty much what people do, not just on the net. Some adults swear casually in conversions all the time. Thats how some people talk, especially when they're worked up.

When I watch Bob's reviews, I'm not looking for a good laugh, I want to hear his opinion. More specifically, what he Fucking hates/likes about a flick, rather than Kind Of hates/likes.

 

[petrolmonkey]

The beeping is The Escapist decision not the authors of the videos. You telling me that you didn't notice the beeping in ZP?

Do you have any proof of this or is it speculation? I didn't hear any beeping over the cursing in the most recent ZP review, where he said such things as "skull fucked".

EDIT: looking over it again, methinks you may have been being sarcastic. It's hard to tell in text.

I was not. I remenber them being bleeped. And people complaining about it last week. And there was a user that posted Russ Pitt response over the censor thingie that The Escapist had to keep the content to a PG-13 level. Let me scour the forums!

Yeah ZP is clearly not bleeped. I think he did it once and it was meant to be part of the joke or something.

But the bleeping in this is annoying and pointless. It actually detracts from the video, for me at least.

 

[The Great JT]

Wouldn't it be essentially the same as any other Zombie Survival movie? I mean the whole game plot is basically a generic zombie movie plot spiced up a bit for the action.

Oh like zombie movies are that diverse to begin with. Point is, at least Left 4 Dead can be considered for a zombie movie and it can be taken straight-faced, unlike Resident Evil where you know you're in for a shitfest. Hell, you could even characterize the Special Infected with some sembelence of remnant sentience, making them less like monsters and more like tragic characters. Especially the Witch, who to me seems fully aware of the tragedies that have befallen humanity and weeps uncontrollably because of it.

(Warning: That is just my interpretation of it, you're free to have your own.)

Yeah because it's not like we have any other movies out there about for survivors of a zombie apacalypse...

(movie poster of Zombieland, deleted for post length)

[h4]Oh wait[/h4]

Oh come on, that was as much a zombie flick as it was a comedy. It's like how Evil Dead was part horror flick and part slapstick, coining the horror sub-genre "Slashstick" (slasher slapstick, but it applies to horror/comedy hybrid films like the Evil Dead movies, Zombieland and parts of Brain Dead/Dead Alive). Look point is, Zombieland shows the "four survivors trying to escape zombie apocalypse" formula can work if it's done right.

(PS: Evil Dead is fuckin' awesome, as are its sequels.)

Try to convert Super Mario Bros into a movie and... well, we all know how that ended up.

My guilty pleasure in that it was so bad it was funny? And yes, that is how I feel about it, I do think it's funny in its badness.

Look, again I'm saying that anything can make a good movie, you just need to know what to do with it. Super Mario Bros. is, and and has always been, your standard "knight saves princess from dragon" story, even straight-facedly taking the last two parts straight from the bottle. The guys who did the Super Mario Bros. movie didn't know what direction to take it in, so it ended up being the way it did. It's like MovieBob himself said, Transformers could've been good despite the fact it's always been nothing more than a giant toy commercial, but that didn't stop the television shows from being good (Well most of 'em anyway. What, don't tell me you LIKED Beast Wars.).

 

[jboking]

Sorry to hear the movie was boring as shit. However, this review has now made me want to go re-watch four great movies:

Seventh Seal
12 Angry Men
Road to Perdition
and Adaption

At least something good came out of all of this.

 

[Mysnomer]

Hey Bob-

As somebody who isn't much of an internet junkie and doesn't really like internet junkies, but watches your reviews anyway because they're both more entertaining and more insightful than the stuff you get from Joe Morgenstern, I have a recommendation: cut the F-word. There are some people complaining about censorship here, but it seems to me the bleeps are less about the word itself and more about the astounding frequency with which you use it. From where I'm sitting, it looks like ever since you got to go ANGRYBob on Transformers 2 and especially since you got to do it again over Jennifer's Body, you've gotten more and more comfortable replacing cleverness with F-bombs. I don't have any fucking problem with people screaming fuck, but it should make a point instead of just filling empty space in your sentences.

Maybe this is just the common language of the internet. I have a pretty prejudiced view of online addicts as socially-inept loners who don't know how to make a point or draw attention to themselves except by being as crude as possible, and I'm sure that bleeping one in every five words is something these people get. But you're better than that. In fact, you're one of the best working critics in the nation today because you place movies in the context of film history, bother describing what works and what doesn't work, and make it all fun to watch with wit and cleverness. Wit and cleverness don't go well with tons of profanity; the one adds emphasis to a point be being thoughtful, while the other attempts the same by being thoughtless. These last couple of reviews have felt really watered down because every time you're about to say something genuinely funny you cut yourself off with a (blee-eep). Instead of having an original and insightful new critic, all of a sudden we're left with just another guy spewing F-laced anger onto the internet, and I hate that. So if you want your audience to be limited to loner teenage guys who think that being able to blow profanity at anonymous people on random forums makes them Jesus Christ, you keep doing what you're doing and I'll go elsewhere. But I really, really, really think you're better than that.

Thank you for saying everything I wanted to say twice as well as I could have. Personally, I don't mind language when I feel it is appropriate for the mood, so if Bob gets really worked up, I would not begrudge him his profanity, and the more he rations it, the more impact it has, conveying that he is truly impassioned about something. The more he just blithely throws it out there, the more it becomes a schtick (a la Zero Punctuation). I respect you, Bob, and while he is funny, I do not respect Croshaw. Please continue your record of excellence without sinking into the lowest common denominator.

Off-Topic:

What, don't tell me you LIKED Beast Wars.

This really needs a smiley, you know, so that people know you're joking, and don't tear your head off. If you weren't joking, then you obviously didn't see the best episodes, which easily made up for anything sub-par. (This is only true for the seasons where they're on Earth, after they left...all bets are off)

 

[LGC Pominator]

Oh god here we go again with the Halo BS (and I honestly can't be arsed going over the plot points again (especially FoR and Contact harvest), because hey, it is becoming increasingly evident that he doesnt give to f(BEEP)s (is that mandatory now?) and why should I bother?) I am getting rather bored of the random dropping of Halo's plot in particular as being indicative of a bad story/poor material for adaptation etc, especially in the knowledge that we are soon to be treated with an *oh hoo bloody ray* World of Warcraft movie, honestly, please find something original to ***** about moviebob, preferably based in fact.

Back on the topic, I do think this review (aside from the aforementioned) made an interesting point as to the use of some situations in films, some things just don't go together, horror and meaningful romance, chocolate spread and treacle, RTS games and AI partners, alone these features could be brilliant, unfortunately together it always seems like the two things are either recieving half arsed attention all of the time, or simply forgetting one of the genres half way through, to focus on the other, before another surprising shift in tone to the previous one to wrap it all up, see: F.E.A.R.

I don't think I will bother with the road, as my current monthly movie line up is already taken up by some pretty astounding titles, and by the way, if you peoples haven't already, WATCH HARRY BROWN!

On the subject of the Moviebob Reviews, I think that he does have many ups and downs in his review, some are brilliant and interesting (see: Twilight, Jennifer's Body, 2012 and Boondock Saints II), but others have fallen flat on their faces as either lame attempts to harvest views (IMO) such as Transformers 2 (which I didn't like so don't start painting me as a freakin drunken frat boy...) or District 9 (which I loved and, before harry brown was released, was my candidate for 2009 movie of the year) The recent addition of the censoring of the F-Bombs is rather confusing and, I doubt, in any way necessary, at the end of the day we are used to it (thanks ZP!) and the only real difference is that he is now the censored sweary guy who hates halo, you know, like yahtzee, only more opinionated... and less sweary.

In summary:
Drop the Halo BS, there is not a single defensible point Moviebob has made about the Halo series.
Review more good movies!
Remove the censoring or quit swearing
Don't reuse gags, that's ZPs thing

 

[The Great JT]

This really needs a smiley, you know, so that people know you're joking, and don't tear your head off.

While I am kidding, I don't do smilies, because I think that they're stupid.

Also, stronger people have tried to tear my head off, and so far only the efforts of Super Mecha Death Christ have succeeded.

 

[martianman]

I'm going to ask my dad to get 12 angry men from Netflix.

 

[Computer-Noob]

Did I miss something? Moviebob never censored his swears before. This and the twlight review did. What for?

 

[Tdc2182]

You really know your stuff dude. Good job

 

[brutopian]

saw this movie two days ago. disagree with everything. reviewer is a jackass.

 

[Kuchinawa212]

DAMNIT!
Not even a minute in and you have another refrence that earns you 20+ points (2 Read or Die pictures)
You're getting good moviebob. maybe, too good!
EDIT
Tack on another +10 for the fawful reference
EDIT agian
GAH +30 for the Twilight Zone.
Best review ever

 

[Slaanax]

2 hour movie is pretty impressive actually seeing how the book wasn't very long. I like the book a lot kind of sand to hear that the movie is kind of blah.