Escapist, help me to be zen

Barbas

ExQQxv1D1ns
Oct 28, 2013
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Dear Escapist,

I've tried. I really have.


I tried consuming excessive amounts of energy drinks and fried chicken to induce a spiritual event, I tried watching Requiem For A Dream and then going to bed, I even tried Carlsberg and cheese from a can...that was not a proud moment. But I just can't phase out into that cool, yeahwhatevereverman zone like the rappers do. I think I'm doing it wrong. So please, please help me out here: how do you personally achieve that blessed zen state of mind between the ordinary ninetofive and the problematic illkillthenextmotherfuckerwhocomesinhere?

Yours,


Concerned
 

sky pies

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Oct 24, 2015
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Since when did rappers get into a cool yeahwhateverman zone? I mean, what rapper are you using for this conclusion? Beck?

yeahwhateverman is the Bob Dylan zone. listen to bob dylan prob solved
 

beyondbrainmatter

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Dec 7, 2010
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"THE RIGHT MIND AND THE CONFUSED MIND

The Right Mind is the mind that does not remain in one place. It is the mind that stretches throughout the entire body and self.

The Confused Mind is the mind that, thinking something over, congeals in one place.

When the Right Mind congeals and settles in one place, it becomes what is called the Confused Mind. When the Right Mind is lost, it is lacking in function here and there. For this reason, it is important not to lose it.

In not remaining in one place, the Right Mind is like water. The Confused Mind is like ice, and ice is unable to wash hands or head. When ice is melted, it becomes water and flows everywhere, and it can wash the hands, the feet or anything else.

If the mind congeals in one place and remains with one thing, it is like frozen water and is unable to be used freely: ice that can wash neither hands nor feet. When the mind is melted and is used like water, extending throughout the body, it can be sent wherever one wants to send it.

This is the Right Mind.

THE MIND OF THE EXISTENT MIND AND THE MIND OF NO-MIND

The Existent Mind is the same as the Confused Mind and is literally read as the "mind that exists." It is the mind that thinks in one direction, regardless of subject. When there is an object of thought in the mind, discrimination and thoughts will arise. Thus it is known as the Existent Mind.

The No-Mind is the same as the Right Mind. It neither congeals nor fixes itself in one place. It is called No-Mind when the mind has neither discrimination nor thought but wanders about the entire body and extends throughout the entire self.

The No-Mind is placed nowhere. Yet it is not like wood or stone. Where there is no stopping place, it is called No-Mind. When it stops, there is something in the mind. When there is nothing in the mind, it is called the mind of No-Mind. It is also called No-Mind-No-Thought.

When this No-Mind has been well developed, the mind does not stop with one thing nor does it lack anyone thing. It is like water overflowing and exists within itself. It appears appropriately when facing a time of need.

The mind that becomes fixed and stops in one place does not function freely. Similarly, the wheels of a cart go around because they are not rigidly in place. If they were to stick tight, they would not go around. The mind is also something that does not function if it becomes attached to a single situation.

If there is some thought within the mind, though you listen to the words spoken by another, you will not really be able to hear him. This is because your mind has stopped with your own thoughts.

If your mind leans in the direction of these thoughts, though you listen, you will not hear; and though you look, you will not see. This is because there is something in your mind. What is there is thought. If you are able to remove this thing that is there, your mind will become No-Mind, it will function when needed, and it will be appropriate to its use.

The mind that thinks about removing what is within it will by the very act be occupied. If one will not think about it, the mind will remove these thoughts by itself and of itself become No-Mind.

If one always approaches his mind in this way, at a later date it will suddenly come to this condition by itself. If one tries to achieve this suddenly, it will never get there.

An old poem says:

To think, "I will not think"--
This, too, is something in one's thoughts.
Simply do not think
About not thinking at all.
"

-Takuan Soho, "The Unfettered Mind"

Is that zen enough?
 

vallorn

Tunnel Open, Communication Open.
Nov 18, 2009
2,309
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Play a SL1 Dark Souls run until it grinds your personality and sense of self down into a single point of salt and rage, from there you can achieve true enlightenment.

albino boo said:
Take one copy of the little book of calm and swallow.
Also yes, Bill Baily helps. I suggest a mix of his Tinsleworm tour and Black Books.
 

Callate

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Dec 5, 2008
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Turn off the computer and breathe.

Also (if necessary) the phone, the tablet, the console, and the television.

If you still don't feel calm, do something repetitive to (barely) occupy your mind. Dishes and laundry are good for this.
 

MysticSlayer

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Apr 14, 2013
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Start counting

1 pink elephant, 2 pink elephant, 3 pink elephant, 4 pink elephant...

Around 1000 or so, the problem will be solved. Alternatively, if this makes you agitated, go play DOOM.
 

FPLOON

Your #1 Source for the Dino Porn
Jul 10, 2013
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Binaural beats... It's like suggestive hypnotism... Then again, I only use that when I sleep on the floor, let alone when I "sleep" in general, so barring that I talk to myself My Dinner With Andre-style... Food not required, but I digress...

Other than that, Nujabes... He left this world too soon, but not without leaving behind a legacy of sublimely produced music, yo...
 

Kolby Jack

Come at me scrublord, I'm ripped
Apr 29, 2011
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I kind of have a zen state of mind going, and have for quite a long time now, but I don't know if it's actually zen or if it's just some kind of psychosis. Basically, things that would agitate someone on an emotional level, I absorb and dissect, over and over in my head until all possible feeling I could have on it has been dissolved and nothing remains but a cold, distant observation of what has occurred. I don't do it on purpose, it just happens. It's not to say I don't experience emotions, I do. But they're internalized, analyzed, and dealt with without much external expression.

Now it doesn't take me very long to get over stuff that may have upset me in the past, and it's easy to forgive people for things and let it go. The only real downside is my lack of apparent emotion makes some people think I'm depressed. But fuck it, who cares what other people think when they can only see what's on the outside?

beyondbrainmatter said:
"All o' dat"

Is that zen enough?
That was just a bunch of repetitive gibberish. Something that vague isn't really wisdom so much as it's trying to sound like wisdom. It will only be of help to someone who could find meaning in any random crap.

Of course, when it comes to matters of the mind it's pretty hard to teach someone how to think. Thinking and manners of thinking are grown as we grow and not easily changed once we've become accustomed to them.

If you want to be zen, stop worrying about trying to be zen and just be it. If you can't, then fuck it. Zen isn't for everyone. Just do what makes you happy.
 

Albino Boo

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Jun 14, 2010
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Kolby Jack said:
beyondbrainmatter said:
"All o' dat"

Is that zen enough?
That was just a bunch of repetitive gibberish. Something that vague isn't really wisdom so much as it's trying to sound like wisdom. It will only be of help to someone who could find meaning in any random crap.
Errr Takuan Soho was a leading Zen buddhist thinker in Japan in the 17 century.
 

Kolby Jack

Come at me scrublord, I'm ripped
Apr 29, 2011
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albino boo said:
Kolby Jack said:
beyondbrainmatter said:
"All o' dat"

Is that zen enough?
That was just a bunch of repetitive gibberish. Something that vague isn't really wisdom so much as it's trying to sound like wisdom. It will only be of help to someone who could find meaning in any random crap.
Errr Takuan Soho was a leading Zen buddhist thinker in Japan in the 17 century.
I can see why. Zen is a label applied unnecessarily. To try to explain it in a satisfactory way is pointless, so inane pseudo-philosophy will do fine for the people who it was written for. For everyone else, I doubt it helps much.
 

Albino Boo

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Jun 14, 2010
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Kolby Jack said:
albino boo said:
Kolby Jack said:
beyondbrainmatter said:
"All o' dat"

Is that zen enough?
That was just a bunch of repetitive gibberish. Something that vague isn't really wisdom so much as it's trying to sound like wisdom. It will only be of help to someone who could find meaning in any random crap.
Errr Takuan Soho was a leading Zen buddhist thinker in Japan in the 17 century.


I can see why. Zen is a label applied unnecessarily. To try to explain it in a satisfactory way is pointless, so inane pseudo-philosophy will do fine for the people who it was written for. For everyone else, I doubt it helps much.
So why are saying be Zen then rejecting one of the leading thinkers of Zen buddhism
 

chocolate pickles

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Apr 14, 2011
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Consume copious amounts of black currant Ribena. Let its mysitcal energy soothe your soul, and become one with the black currant.

Alternatively, realise this whole thing is pointless and continue with your life.
 

Eclipse Dragon

Lusty Argonian Maid
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Jan 23, 2009
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Serious answers...

Martial Arts
Yoga
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

---------
Not so serious answers...

Stop giving so many fucks [footnote]The ultimate lesson of the internet, see how it's worked so far[/footnote]
Binge play the Shin Megami Tensei franchise
 

Neverhoodian

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Apr 2, 2008
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Whip out your credit card and charge as much as your limit allows for stuff in Star Trek Online. If you're poor, waste your life away grinding dilithium and converting it.

...Oh wait, you mean THAT kind of "zen."