Escapist = Illuminati??

[PsychicTaco115]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I believe that I have found something so shocking, something so emotional that you may need to stand so you can sit down in complete disbelief

I have evidence that the Escapist is actually... THE ILLUMINATI

Spoiler: Sp00ky music for effect

Now, I know I can't just bring out my accusations without proof, which is the point of this thread

Now I present to you, THE TRUTH!
*As proofread by Dan Brown

Spoiler: Super Srs Evidence

*Notice how many vowels there are in Escapist... 3!
*The top 3 contributors of this site (Jim, Yahtzee and MoS), what shape do all their homes make?

Spoiler: A TRIANGLE

Spoiler: ALSO A TRIANGLE?!?!?

*The Off-Topic Discussion Forum has 2 vowels that repeat 3 TIMES
*The 3 highest viewed forums are Gaming, Off-Topic and News Room; Obviously, they try to blend in and give us THEIR preferred version of news
*There are 3 divisions of content; most recent, most popular and most commented to show what the average person is viewing and discussing to spread their propaganda!
*A recent movie/game trend is 3D which the Escapist regularly reports on!
*In 2011, the Escapist won 3 Webby Awards!
*Jim, Yahtzee and Moviebob (3!) all have 3 shows on the Escapist!
*LRR also has 3 shows here on the Escapist, as well as a 3 letter acronym
*The current editor-in-chief, Greg Tito, has 3 vowels

Now that we know that the Escapist IS Illuminati, what implications does this hold for the future of game journalism? The world economy?

Keep in mind, this list barely scratches the surface of this almost 10 year-old conspiracy. I will update this as I find the truthiness in the pudding of the coding of this site

 

[Caiphus]

P - S - Y - C H I C - T - A C O
16 19 25 3 8 9 3 20 1 3 15

Sum those numbers and we get 122

Psychictaco115

Reverse 115
511
+
122
= 633

6 + 3 + 3 = 12
1 + 2 = 3

Pyschictaco illuminarty double agent confirmedddddd.

 

[Hazy992]

P - S - Y - C H I C - T - A C O
16 19 25 3 8 9 3 20 1 3 15

Sum those numbers and we get 122

Psychictaco115

Reverse 115
511
+
122
= 633

6 + 3 + 3 = 12
1 + 2 = 3

Pyschictaco illuminarty double agent confirmedddddd.

And how the hell does Taco explain this one?!

Spoiler: We need to go deeper

3Spooky5Me

Taco Loominarty confirmed! I'm starting to wonder if he's even a taco at all!

 

[Caiphus]

Important evidence, keep away NSA!

Also, the taco is clearly the most pyramidal of Mexican foods.

What else is in Mexico?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chichen_Itza

What are they hiding!?!?

 

[Hazy992]

Important evidence, keep away NSA!

Also, the taco is clearly the most pyramidal of Mexican foods.

What else is in Mexico?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chichen_Itza

What are they hiding!?!?

It all makes sense now! This thread is clearly a red herring designed to throw us off, but it didn't work. We caught the son-of-a-*****!

He'll be rounding up people into FEMA camps any day now. Suicide pills! Mass murder pills!

 

[Thaluikhain]

Well, this is pretty compelling evidence.

Next you'll be telling me that Anita Sarkeesian is secretly pulling the strings here.

Given how often she comes up, wouldn't be that surprised...

 

[tippy2k2]

Taco my friend, you have lost it. I can assure you that as one of the oldest active members on this site that it is NOT being run by the lizard people of the Illuminati. That is utterly silly and preposterous that you would even throw out that accusation...

...you know what, screw it!?! What's the point of having cool toys if I just have to deny everything instead of mocking everyone. Yes, we are the Illuminati. I personally am not a lizard person but most of the staff is. Kross faked the moon landing. Greg Tito didn't kill JFK but he does know the two people who did. The mods were modeled after the Borg; they are more machine than human now. Spider-Mods real identity is sky14kemea!

Now you all know the deepest and darkest secrets of the Escapist. Now before you leave, we just have a simple eye test for you here to be sure that you haven't caught the secret T-Virus being developed in the Escapist labs...

Spoiler

[small]Idiots...works every time[/small]

 

[cojo965]

I have no idea what I'm looking at, but it's stupid as hell and I love it.

 

[PsychicTaco115]

Seems about right.

 

[Flutterguy]

Ugh, and birds go tweet Taco.

This is kindergarten level conspiracy bro, hasnt even noticed the play buytton on videos iz a TRIANGLE!

Keep drinkin the fluoride bro.

 

[NeutralDrow]

The number 3 is an Illuminati symbol?

Dammit! All my conspiracy-busting work has been based on the fact that the Escapist is the secret propaganda wing of the Catholic church!

 

[EeveeElectro]

-3spooky5me snip-

You've got no room to talk!

OT: Well with such undeniable proof I better go into hiding before the illuminati police knock on my door.

 

[lacktheknack]

It's not just the Escapist.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BuAScrHIYAAioiW.jpg:large

Illuminati in your Spongebob.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BsR0K-sCEAA47Q3.jpg:large

Basketball is rigged by the Illuminati.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BtbQGceCQAAd4d0.jpg:large

Illuminati know where you sleep!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bs2pWLECAAAmwtv.jpg:large

Iggy Azalea is brainwashing you using Illuminati brainwaves to make you all fancy!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BssLwlZCMAA0hlZ.jpg:large

BEYONCE IS ILLUMINATI DOWN TO THE BONE

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bt0eu7ICUAAsr4Q.jpg:large

EVEN NICKELODEON SOMEHOW HID IT FROM US FOR ALL THESE YEARS

THEY'RE EVERYWHERE

Edit: YES! WE HAVEN'T HAD A KROSS/MUDSCREW LIKE THIS IS TOO LONG

 

[NewClassic_v1legacy]

Seems about right.

Y'ever notice how "NewClassic" has three vowels in it? And three syllables?

Nah, me neither.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Uh, is everything supposed to be dark? Do we have to hold our super secret meetings in the dark now?

 

[Hazy992]

-3spooky5me snip-

You've got no room to talk!

OT: Well with such undeniable proof I better go into hiding before the illuminati police knock on my door.

Don't try and put the spotlight on me and take it off you!

Eevee Loominarty Reptoid Alien Tare from the Planet Nibiru confirmed! Say high to the Bilderberg group for me!

 

[PsychicTaco115]

They're trying to cast darkness to cover the truth...

YOU CAN'T CENSOR THE TRUTH

 

[StormShaun]

Who the hell turned off the lights?!
... if nobody owns up I'm blaming Taco ... and Daystar ... and ... and Coca-cola.

[HEADING=2]In any case I think Daystar is Illuminati. I mean why else would he de-rail thread?![/HEADING]

 

[Colour Scientist]

Who the hell turned off the lights?!
... if nobody owns up I'm blaming Taco ... and Daystar ... and ... and Coca-cola.

[HEADING=2]In any case I think Daystar is Illuminati. I mean why else would he de-rail thread?![/HEADING]

Please, Daystar isn't cool or clever enough to be Illuminati.

 

[Barbas]

If that's not proof enough for you, look what the Escapist did when I tried to open this very thread:

Spoiler: Conspiracies.

#Cantexplainthat.

EDIT: ...And now there's a Cthulhu. Oh well. Could be worse.

Could be Jyggalag. :<