Hello Escapist. I am here to continue and improve on my curently dead thread called "Devices of the Escapist". I want to make a catalogue of imaginary (or quite real) gear, which an Escapist uses to survive the harsh world of The Internet. Post a loadout of items which you would use to survive the Escapist. Feel free to make up YOUR VERY OWN devices. And please put a spoiler tag when you are posting pictures. I will start by posting my own Escapist Standard and Emergency gear.
<spoiler= My Standard Gear> <spoiler= Main Weapon>
The SIMG stands for Snipeting Issue Machine Gun
<spoiler= Secondary Weapon>
"The Troll Nailer" or The Standard Banhammer Projectile Launcher
Supplies, Ammo and Misc:
2 Cartridges of 5.56 snipet bullets for The SIMG 09
5 Banhammers for "The Troll Nailer"
A couple of Twinkies
Some water
The Zombie Survival Guide
My 'ol Prestigio Laptop (Never fails me)
Spellchecker
Anti-Spam Armor Vest
A portable Hard-drive with 2 weeks worth of cached pages
Troll-Controll nightstick
<spoiler= My Emergency Gear> <spoiler=Main Weapon>
The AKS-47
When the other escapists are around, the SIMG 09 will do. But a real survivalist needs the AKS-47
<spoiler= Secondary Weapon>
The Dictionary Eagle Pistol - The last thing a Grammar Nazi will see
Supplies, Ammo and Misc:
2 Cartridges of 5.56 Snipet Ammo
2 Cartridges of 5.56 Editing Edition Ammo (Never know when you need that extra firepower)
2 Packets of .50 ABC ammo (That'll teach the Grammar Nazis)
A box of 28 Twinkies (Only Twinkies can survive a nuclear holocaust)
4 liters of water
3 Scorch-Torches for Flaming a bad thread
The Zombie Survival Guide (You never know...)
A deck of playing cards
My 'ol Prestigio Laptop (It can run Half-Life 2!)
Anti-Spam Vest reinforced with Anti-"STFU N00B" kevlar plates
A Flamesuit
A Flame-proof backpack
Medical Kit (Flame threatment kit for flamewars, Aspirin for facepalm threads, Happy and Sleep pills for religion threads)
Emergency Thread Flares (The post your exact GPS location on the Escapist)
Tactical Facepalm Manual
3 Chemical Lights (The are not only sun rechargable, but also repel 4chan members!)
And here are the most interesting devices from my previous thread:
<spoiler= The Best Devices>
"For the trolls you just can't get rid of!"
"Just replace the word "Back" with bridge.
Useful for taking down those damn trolls!....Or just lighting stuff on fire.
[small]You must pass a Fanboy/girl test before being issued a Bridgeburner."[/small]
<spoiler= The Escapist Remote by Diablini>
The Escapist Remote
"This new divice will let you browse The Escapist a lot easier. It comes with your everyday Escapist functions. It also includes a set of secondary buttons and can be mounted easily on "The Troll Nailer". Being an Escapist has never been easier and more compact!"
"Fight fire with fire, as they say.
The Flame Shield[small][sup]TM[/sup][/small] comes flame ready and activates with the push of the "post" button.
The Flame Shield[small][sup]TM[/sup][/small] comes with an in-built anti-fanboy derogatory insult deployment system which calls out and belittle fanboys in one fell swoop.
Comes with 5 year warranty.
[sup][small] tracuer_ inc. is not responsible for any and all cases of self injury resulting from lack of or incorrect deployment. Warranty void in Canberra, Canberra sucks."[/small][/sup]
For quick escapist manoeuvres when the main exit is blocked.
Functions as enter hook, harpoon and rain/rock repellent. The picture lacks the little motor that will pull you up, though. I also couldn't find a good picture with a hook that can be folded up.
And the honorable mentions:
Troll cattle-prod "It also brands them with: "TROLL!BACK AWAY!"
A Search Bar Aproved sticker
The LOLCAT seeking missile
So share your means of survival in this thread.
<spoiler= My Standard Gear> <spoiler= Main Weapon>
<spoiler= Secondary Weapon>
"The Troll Nailer" or The Standard Banhammer Projectile Launcher
Supplies, Ammo and Misc:
2 Cartridges of 5.56 snipet bullets for The SIMG 09
5 Banhammers for "The Troll Nailer"
A couple of Twinkies
Some water
The Zombie Survival Guide
My 'ol Prestigio Laptop (Never fails me)
Spellchecker
Anti-Spam Armor Vest
A portable Hard-drive with 2 weeks worth of cached pages
Troll-Controll nightstick
<spoiler= My Emergency Gear> <spoiler=Main Weapon>
The AKS-47
When the other escapists are around, the SIMG 09 will do. But a real survivalist needs the AKS-47
<spoiler= Secondary Weapon>
The Dictionary Eagle Pistol - The last thing a Grammar Nazi will see
Supplies, Ammo and Misc:
2 Cartridges of 5.56 Snipet Ammo
2 Cartridges of 5.56 Editing Edition Ammo (Never know when you need that extra firepower)
2 Packets of .50 ABC ammo (That'll teach the Grammar Nazis)
A box of 28 Twinkies (Only Twinkies can survive a nuclear holocaust)
4 liters of water
3 Scorch-Torches for Flaming a bad thread
The Zombie Survival Guide (You never know...)
A deck of playing cards
My 'ol Prestigio Laptop (It can run Half-Life 2!)
Anti-Spam Vest reinforced with Anti-"STFU N00B" kevlar plates
A Flamesuit
A Flame-proof backpack
Medical Kit (Flame threatment kit for flamewars, Aspirin for facepalm threads, Happy and Sleep pills for religion threads)
Emergency Thread Flares (The post your exact GPS location on the Escapist)
Tactical Facepalm Manual
3 Chemical Lights (The are not only sun rechargable, but also repel 4chan members!)
And here are the most interesting devices from my previous thread:
<spoiler= The Best Devices>
"Just replace the word "Back" with bridge.
Useful for taking down those damn trolls!....Or just lighting stuff on fire.
[small]You must pass a Fanboy/girl test before being issued a Bridgeburner."[/small]
<spoiler= The Escapist Remote by Diablini>
The Escapist Remote
"This new divice will let you browse The Escapist a lot easier. It comes with your everyday Escapist functions. It also includes a set of secondary buttons and can be mounted easily on "The Troll Nailer". Being an Escapist has never been easier and more compact!"
"Fight fire with fire, as they say.
The Flame Shield[small][sup]TM[/sup][/small] comes flame ready and activates with the push of the "post" button.
The Flame Shield[small][sup]TM[/sup][/small] comes with an in-built anti-fanboy derogatory insult deployment system which calls out and belittle fanboys in one fell swoop.
Comes with 5 year warranty.
[sup][small] tracuer_ inc. is not responsible for any and all cases of self injury resulting from lack of or incorrect deployment. Warranty void in Canberra, Canberra sucks."[/small][/sup]
For quick escapist manoeuvres when the main exit is blocked.
Functions as enter hook, harpoon and rain/rock repellent. The picture lacks the little motor that will pull you up, though. I also couldn't find a good picture with a hook that can be folded up.
And the honorable mentions:
Troll cattle-prod "It also brands them with: "TROLL!BACK AWAY!"
A Search Bar Aproved sticker
The LOLCAT seeking missile
So share your means of survival in this thread.
