Escapists and marriage

[Blue_vision]

-Are you married? And if not, do you intend on getting married someday?
Nope, but I'd like to. Someday, when I find the perfect (or just the right) person.

-Will it be/was it a quiet ceremony or a big lavish event?
Definitely a quiet ceremony. Spare everyone the formalities that nobody really benefits from and get straight to the loving, dancing, and drinking. Any parents will be advised against bringing children if they can't handle it. Most likely would be hosting a rave, or party at a nightclub or something, but I really don't know.

-How about divorce? Do you think people think too lightly about the commitment of marriage or should people be allowed to terminate a marriage for any reason they see fit?
I think that people's perceptions of marriage don't fit the cultural and social ramifications of it, i.e. want to show their commitment but there isn't really a formalized in-between.
And for many people, I do think that they commit to early, before they really know what they're getting into. I'd probably get married after like 5 or 10 years of full on living with whoever she is.

-Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not?
Duh.

-Anything else you might want to add.
Not really. I love the idea of marriage. I genuinely think that most of the people who are on here going "marriage is stupid!!!" just don't have a proper life philosophy. If you disagree, please try to legitimately convince me otherwise, I don't usually like to think that's the case.

 

[babinro]

-Are you married? And if not, do you intend on getting married someday?
-Will it be/was it a quiet ceremony or a big lavish event?
-How about divorce? Do you think people think too lightly about the commitment of marriage or should people be allowed to terminate a marriage for any reason they see fit?
-Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not?

Not married. I very much like the idea of marriage and would like to be some day. Though I dislike the idea of kids.

Being anti-social, I'd love to not have a ceremony at all, but I'd imagine the reality of things would be a small gathering 30-60 people...non-religious ceremony.

I think people take marriage too lightly and as such there is a higher than expected divorce rate. People should not be forced to remain together against their will, as such, they should be allowed to terminate a marriage as they see fit in my opinion.

100 percent in favor of gay marriage, I'm disappointed that this has even been a topic of dabate in the past few decades. Change takes a long time.

 

[Nimcha]

Interesting points on divorce. Some people seem to be of the opinion people should try to avoid divorce by any means possible. This really confuses me, if you're not compatible anymore for whatever reason why should you work to keep an unhealthy relationship?

Divorce is seen as a quick way out now though, that's what everyone seems to have against it. When a couple stop working for a while then they think it's time for a divorce. However, with a little work you could easily get that relationship back to normal. If you still find it impossible to keep up that relationship then divorce may be the only solution.

Try and fix something before you throw it away.

I really can't agree with this. All of the divorces I know about involve a lot of heartbreak and regret, but are ultimately for the best. And if it isn't, there's always the option of remarriage.

I also find it hard to see marriage as some ultimate commitment, in my view people marry and have a wedding as a celebration of their love. That doesn't seem to be the case everywhere, is the 'till death do us part' thing really what it's all about? I find that a little hard to grasp...

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

-Are you married? And if not, do you intend on getting married someday?

(is 20 and has never had a girlfriend) Really up in the air. If me and my (eventual) significant other are absolutely positive about each other, then I'm open to the idea. But otherwise, not really. (more in ETC bit at bottom)

-Will it be/was it a quiet ceremony or a big lavish event?

Probably small-medium. It should be nice, but no way in hell am I gonna spend tons of money where I don't need to.

-How about divorce? Do you think people think too lightly about the commitment of marriage or should people be allowed to terminate a marriage for any reason they see fit?

Hard to say...There ARE valid reasons for ending it. But a lot of people don't end it for the right reasons (or the marriage was doomed from the start). I'd be perfectly fine with it if less idiots jumped crotch first into their marriages.

-Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not?

Civil marriage? Sure. But religiously? ...Well, it depends on the priest/cleric/whatever. They shouldn't be forced to marry someone they don't want to. If the two men/women can find someone willing, more power to them. I don't think it's right to deny them that right, but it's also not right to force a priest to marry them if he doesn't want to either.

-Anything else you might want to add.

Well, Marriage is nice and all, but...It also makes your relationship LAW. So I can see why many people would feel imprisoned by it (even if the marriage is working out nicely). Some might have that feeling in the back of your head going "You signed a contract. You are obligated to this relationship. You cannot get out without serious problems. There is no escape". If you get that feeling, it can cause friction. Honestly, I'd be happy with just a mutual commitment. Less authoritative, but essentially the same, minus the big party. That way, if I ever ask myself "why am I still with her?" I can answer "Because I love her, otherwise I would have already walked", and not "Because of the contract...".

 

[BlumiereBleck]

1. no im not anywhere near that and probably will never happen.
2. will probably be a vegas one if any.
3. if youre going to divorce dont even marry
4. no.

 

[zehydra]

-Nope, but I do plan to.
-I have a feeling people will make it into a big lavish event regardless of whether or not I want it to be. The groom really doesn't have a choice.
-No, the point of marriage is that you're making a promise to stay together. If you're not willing to keep that promise, don't get married.
-I don't really care. The government shouldn't have anything involvement with marriage anyway.
-nope.

 

[Veldel]

Perhaps I might one day not sure

Id like a small wedding


Divorce sucks period

Same Sex Marrage should be allowed no mater what its fucking asinine that it isnt and anyone who thinks people shouldnt including using there religion as a excuse well I hate you plain and simple I belive in equal rights and its about love not your religion or how you feel

 

[SturmDolch]

-Are you married? And if not, do you intend on getting married someday?

No, but if plans go accordingly, I will be in about 3-4 years.

-Will it be/was it a quiet ceremony or a big lavish event?

I'd prefer quiet, but my girlfriend has a gigantic family... And my family lives in Switzerland for the most part, so I doubt many of them will fly over. I really hope my aunt does, though.

-How about divorce? Do you think people think too lightly about the commitment of marriage or should people be allowed to terminate a marriage for any reason they see fit?

People do take it too lightly. But really, if it's not working out, you should be able to terminate it. It's a stupid mistake that shouldn't happen, but lots of those do.

-Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not?

Yes, but I don't think churches should be required by law to do gay marriages. We wouldn't force a Jewish restaurant to serve pork.

-Anything else you might want to add.

I don't get people that say they don't believe in marriage. You do know it works for a lot of people? I'm not saying you should get married, but saying "I don't want to get married" sounds a lot less spiteful than "I don't believe in marriage".

 

[Faladorian]

-Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not?
It should be. If you argue this, well piss off.

I adore this kind of attitude when dealing with a matter like this.

Honestly, should black people be able to get married? Are you sure? Some people don't like black people. Maybe next time they shouldn't choose to be black.

What's that? it's not the same thing? Yeah, it basically is. If I was a congressman and I tried to legislate a bill that says that nobody was allowed to hold hands because Cthulhu told me it's bad, would it pass? No. And if you think the christian god is even a tiny bit more likely to exist than Cthulhu, you need to reflect on some realism for a minute.

Abrasiveness aside:

-No and probably not
-Very small and quiet
-Divorce is A-Okay
-Same sex marriage? Absolutely. In fact, see quote above for my thoughts summarized.

 

[Dango]

1. No, but hopefully someday.
2. Depends on what my partner wants.
3. I really, really don't like divorce, but if a couple really hates each enough that both consider it an option, then I understand.
4. Yes.

This thread reminds of me of how lonely I am...

 

[trollnystan]

- Nope, and probably not. Heck I'm single and looks like I'm staying that way...

- VERY quiet unless the man I marry wants otherwise. Then he gets to plan it =P

- I think if people stand up in front of witnesses - especially all their family and friends - and say the traditional wedding vows or variations thereof, then they should damn well work like hell on their marriage before divorcing. Don't say "Till death do us part" if you're gonna just give up on it a year later. And don't get me started on prenups: "I love you babe and I want to be with you always. But you know, just in case, sign the dotted line here, here, and initials here." But if you're in an abusive relationship and s/he refuses to change? Go find the nearest lawyer immediately.

- For it. Although with people going "God meant marriage to be between a man and a woman" I'm starting to wonder if we should just revamp our entire legal system so that everyone just registers for partnerships regardless of sexual orientation. That way everyone gets the same rights, and people can call themselves married or whatever the heck they want.

- I'm pretty much for the legalisation of any form of marriage/partnerships - gay, straight, threesomes. But if I ever do fall in love I won't care if we get married or not. I just don't think it's that important as long as we're faithful.

I don't know how much sense this makes; it's 4:35 AM and my brain is tired... G'night!

 

[Jeffster92]

No, but hopefully someday.
I'd be down for anything, so long as it's not overtly stuck up about itself
Nothing wrong with divorce if things aren't working out well. No one should be tied to someone if they don't want to be.
There is no legitimate reason to ban gay marriage. period.
I think too many people these days think it's "postmodern" or "right" to actually want to be married. Don't get me wrong, if someone really doesn't want to be married, more power to 'em, but most of the people I talk to sound like they just say they don't want marriage because they think everyone else does and not wanting marriage makes them somehow better or independent. Staying single doesn't make you independent, keeping a clear identity and not allowing anything superficial to change it does.

 

[Julianking93]

... I am going to hug you every time I quote you, that catboy has gotten to me. *cuddle*

OT: This. I fail to see how a slip of paper makes you love someone more or less.

And for added fun, I'll just hug you each time I see you anywhere ^-^

 

[Julianking93]

*sigh*

Im tired of people having this mentality of marriage...

Love, commitment, and being with that special person IS marriage.

I blame the way that people of this generation have cheapen it with their ego, with as you said "just show to the world you like someone and for financial security."

If you want to be technical about it, no it isn't. Saying you love someone=marriage doesn't make any sense. The topic of this is actual legal marriage status and in that sense, I don't believe in it.

This isn't a generational thing either. I know plenty of 50 - 70 year olds who agree completely with me and will even admit the whole reason they got married was because either they were forced by their parents or they did it for financial reasons.

Marriage doesn't now, nor has it ever had a thing to do with love.

 

[Choppaduel]

Marriage is an old world concept.

 

[New Troll]

-Are you married? And if not, do you intend on getting married someday?
Divorced. Fairly certain I will get married again. Hopefully soon if things go well.

-Will it be/was it a quiet ceremony or a big lavish event?
First wedding was a fairly lavish event, especially considering our incomes. Next time I doubt it would be so. Two witnesses and a judge more than likely. Truthfully, I wouldn't mind another big time event, preferably blowing my first wedding out of the water. But it's not really up to me.

-How about divorce? Do you think people think too lightly about the commitment of marriage or should people be allowed to terminate a marriage for any reason they see fit?
I'm not a fan of divorce. I think because of divorce, people go into relationships and especially marriage way too lightly. Course I see the purpose of divorce, but I think it should possibly be more regulated. Make it more of a last resort.

-Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not?
Sure. I have no right to stand in the way of two people's happiness. And I know God wouldn't ever want me to either.

-Anything else you might want to add.
The woman I love does like the idea of being married to me, but I think she's really only caring cause it matters so much to me. To her, it's just a piece of paper. To me, it's everything.

 

[zen5887]

-Are you married? And if not, do you intend on getting married someday?

Not married. I would like to, if not for anything else then the flippin' giant party I'll hold. In the somewhat likely event that my partner isn't into the marriage deal, then that is no biggie. I mean, if we are to the point that we are ready to get married I don' think much will change by signing some papers.

-Will it be/was it a quiet ceremony or a big lavish event?

Actual marriage or some kind of commitment celebration, I am having a massive party. It'll be cheap though, not in a church and super relaxed.

-How about divorce? Do you think people think too lightly about the commitment of marriage or should people be allowed to terminate a marriage for any reason they see fit?

I'm all for divorce. My folks split up when I was 1 or 2, simply because they got married too early and couldn't handle it. I would much rather grow up the way I did, then in a marriage that neither person wanted to be in. I don't really think its 'an easy way out.' Going of stories I've heard about custody battles and property battles and shit, it sounds pretty unpleasant.

-Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not?

Come on guys... Its 2011. It's crazy to think this is even an issue. In Australia it's still illegal because the law recognizes that "Marriage is a legal union between a man and a woman." Uhh.. change the wording you fucks...

-Anything else you might want to add.

Nothing I can think of.

 

[DevilWolf47]

1. No, i'm not married. I have a girlfriend that i probably will stay with for an exceptionally large chunk of my life, but her idea of commitment is calling me her pet.
...she's a misanthrope and hates people, so her sign that she loves me is that she refers to me as if i was an animal. Good luck finding logic with that.
Anyway, i doubt we'll ever get married. Neither of us are big on ceremony.

2. If by some perverted twist of fate i somehow wind up becoming a parent, i'd probably go with a simple ceremony. Easy to hide from the newspapers so that my parents won't be able to track me down demanding that i raise the child to be a catholic.

3. Interesting question. Admittedly the neglect of commitment is concerning even to me, but cases of spousal abuse are a harsh enough reality that i'll permit divorce.

4. Let people who love each other get married. So long as it's consensual and doesn't create problems, i don't care.

5. Yes, i have something to add. Safe sex is something that should be taught in schools. Seems to me that proper sexual education will prevent hasty marriages doomed to fail because it will help prevent unplanned pregnancies.

 

[cathou]

Are you married? And if not, do you intend on getting married someday?

i'm married for 5 years now.

Was it a quiet ceremony or a big lavish event?

It was pretty small. Since i'm married to another girl, it wasnt possible to do it in a church, so i got married in the local courthouose in front of a judge, with just a couple of friend and my wife family.

How about divorce? Do you think people think too lightly about the commitment of marriage or should people be allowed to terminate a marriage for any reason they see fit?

I think it's inhumaine to force someone to stay married to someone they dont love anymore, so yeah i'm in favor of divorce. However, i think people should really think twice before getting married. not get married after 2 months and divorced after 3 months...

Same sex marriage. Should it be possible or not?

since i'm in that situation, yeah totally

Anything else you might want to add

Marriage isnt only religious. i considere myself agnostic, and been married was something i did for me, for what it meant for me, not for any God. I hate when people claim that marriage is a religious institution only...

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

I really can't agree with this. All of the divorces I know about involve a lot of heartbreak and regret, but are ultimately for the best. And if it isn't, there's always the option of remarriage.

I also find it hard to see marriage as some ultimate commitment, in my view people marry and have a wedding as a celebration of their love. That doesn't seem to be the case everywhere, is the 'till death do us part' thing really what it's all about? I find that a little hard to grasp...

I think you see marriage too lightly. While marriage is a celebration of your love it is also the biggest way of showing your commitment to one another. Sure you can say you love them and that you'll be together to the end, but you aren't really forced to do that. With marriage you have to go through law processes to say you are no longer (or never were, in the case of annulments) married.

Marriage is a legal commitment to one another, not just words. It's an action that says you're willing to go that extra mile to prove how much you want to be with someone. The idea is that when you ask them to marry you, you are willing to go till death, not just till 20 years later.