Escapists, I need some help.

[Burningsok]

I've been worried sick for a while now. I don't know what else to do. My ex-gf has been having issues that I am unable to help her out in any significant way. I'm no doctor and she lives in another country (Sarnia Ontario to be exact). I've lost her as my gf and now I'm worried I might lose her completely. She's still a close friend, and I've been trying to help the best I can.

She's having problems with self-harming, not eating, anxiety, depression, and strong sexual urges. She lives in a apartment, and has been tight with money for a while. She hasn't had good luck with counseling in the past since she keeps getting switched to someone else half way through the sessions or the person she has just isn't working for her.

She's needs long term counseling that can help her with multiply issues for little or no cost. I've looked around and so far things are too expensive.

Is there anyway she could find a therapist in that is affordable. If you guys want you could help search around the web for one, I would appreciate it greatly.

Thanks.

 

[Burningsok]

Snip

I'll try to help. Not saying I am a good therapist if one at all.. but I advise and support all the time so if you need assistance then please feel free to PM me about it.

Now, about your ex... I may not know her at all but by the information you've provided, it seems as if she's got a battle going on with herself that makes it very compelling to try and get close to her. Surprised about the 'strong sexual urges' part because when someone's usually that depressed they don't seek any attention but sometimes will require attention even if it's for the wrong reasons (or leads to a situation that's wrong).

My advise to you is that you call her, not text or chat on computer.. but call her thus with a calm voice asking if you guys can discuss how things are. Don't get to hasty asking her personal questions on why she's acting that way... just take it slow. Give off a little humor too, and don't get angry/irritated if she snaps or acts coldly toward you. It's expected in her state. When I usually talk, it takes awhile before they open up which is when I start asking the whys and hows but still being very civil and caring. So do that first and see where that goes.

Personally, she doesn't need a therapist. Therapists (which I had one) always just bring up the same questions but change the wording around to make yourself realize you got to overcome it. Nothing useful, believe me... they are paid to make you think logically about your life and that it's not "so bad". Pretty useful info, so be her support if she means that much to you. I'll help you out with the best of my abilities as well.

thanks for the reply I've talked to her on the phone quite a bit before about some issues. I've also visited her twice, both times last summer. Arguably the best moments of my life.

Right now though she is very frustrated with her life and yeah has gotten snappy and all. She has had so many draw backs that she barely even cares at this point. Also she has recently started attending church to see if anyone their can help. They can only do so much, and she is afraid to tell the priest what she did yesterday.

It angers me at times. She wants help, but doesn't believe anything will work. She feels it's pointless and that she is just a whore. Her sexual urges are so strong that she has been acting on them.

 

[Burningsok]

I think you should just Google or search for a therapist yourself. It'll be better.

Did that, not much help with pricing unfortunately.
wondering if there is a way she could talk to someone that could give her a person to see for a low cost.

 

[Burningsok]

believe it or not self harm and not eating are not normal behavior. to me this sounds far beyond the need of a therapist. i would make sure her family knows the situation first and than make sure she goes to see a real doctor. even if its just a GP at first, a GP will be able to refer her to a specialist and also keep an eye on her. i do believe canada has a similar system to AUS for mental health in that a person may be held for 72 hours involuntarily if they are deemed at risk to themselves or others, so being in regular contact with a doctor is pretty important

The problem is her family hasn't done anything for her. She left them and is living on her own in an apartment with a couple other people. I do know she has spent a few nights in a hospital for her mental and physical health.

 

[Burningsok]

Thanks for the reply I've talked to her on the phone quite a bit before about some issues. I've also visited her twice, both times last summer. Arguably the best moments of my life.

Right now though she is very frustrated with her life and yeah has gotten snappy and all. She has had so many draw backs that she barely even cares at this point. Also she has recently started attending church to see if anyone their can help. They can only do so much, and she is afraid to tell the priest what she did yesterday.

It angers me at times. She wants help, but doesn't believe anything will work. She feels it's pointless and that she is just a whore. Her sexual urges are so strong that she has been acting on them.

Aaaahhhh~ There's the problem. I see it now. She feels like all she is meant for is sexuality which brings down her self esteem by a lot. I don't understand women all that well, and get scolded a lot when I talk about them... but to my knowledge they really are sensitive and wish to have a major role in life. To be something that is looked positively on.

Right now, she's ..should I say 'addicted' but wants to fight it. Not easy, believe me. Any addiction or habit spite not preforming those habits tend to really get under someone's skin. Reason she doesn't want to talk about it to a priest or religious person at church is because she doesn't wish to be judged or looked at 'differently'.

What you need to do in my opinion, is request to see her very soon or have a VERY long talk thus tell her that you think nothing badly of her, that you love for who she is... and you'll stand by her all the way overcoming her issues thus not judging her for them. You've known her for this long, why stop? If you've made a Thread requesting help, it shows you care all that much.

Hey, this may sound weird... . ..and, it does.... but, if you really want to, have her PM me or send me a message. Can PM you my e-mail that I use to apply jobs with... so she and I can talk. And of course give you results. Your choice overall. Again, it sounds WEIRD but I never give up on people. I love to help, and I never judge people (am way to sensitive anyhow, which I don't hold grudges so it's easy for me to give advise through anything.) What you need to do also is remind yourself why she's that important to you. Why is she worth it spite snapping at you all the time. Once you know, or already know... it'll be that easier to help her. Time is a virtue too... time helps when you're patient.

oh and forgot to mention. She uses a Canadian help services called Kids Help Phone. People can call in and talk to a counselor for free and talk about anything. Unfortunately, she hasn't gotten much out of it recently. She is giving them another shot though as we speak.

 

[Comando96]

Well I'm an example of someone going through the "system".

Depressed turned near-suicidal due to alcoholic father. Likely to have aspergers too though not officially diagnosed.

Socially inept. Luckily for me no sexual urges.

I am really lucky though. In the UK the country doesn't let you fall when you really need help. Why is it in the rest of the world you get fucked over by your country when you need help.

Now she could either have problems that require talking to... or more embedded problems which require medication (sadly) and strong sexual urges... thats a really bad past or drugs :/

I am really really not suggesting the drugs route. They are the last option but an option. A therapist... they are really only any good when its a mental problem at hand and people need help with their thoughts or to make realisations for themselves or to revisit something haunting them.

You're best bet... not a clue... but avoid people who just talk. She may have something which requires diagnosis beyond the talking so that she knows or at least you know what is being dealt with.

Hypersexuality though is relatively specific and very simply: The source is either "Unknown" or Bipolar disorder.
That is a starting point. If its Bipolar... most likely drugs for life
Hope it isn't.

I'm likely to have to be on drugs for the rest of my life so I really hope she doesn't need them.