Ethical Dilemma - Sperm Donation

[Electric Alpaca]

I've been asked to be a sperm donor - by my mother - for a couple she knows of whom are unable to conceive.

The male is unable to supply due to cancer, the woman states sex with strangers (or the basic equivalent) is out of the question. I've been turned to as 350 english pounds per shot is pretty pricey, and I'm deemed worthy (how complimentary -.-). I haven't discussed anything with the couple, as I'm still weighing this (hence the thread), but I'm assuming this process will lack professional mediation so I imagine I'll have to seek to investigate legalities myself.

To break it down to brass tacks;
I'm 24, perfectly healthy (haven't seen a doctor since childhood, no mental illness, however heart issues present on mother's side for males), intelligent (I'm a trainee actuary), looks wise: average to moderately attractive, 6' dead, well built and toned (weight not an issue in the direct family).

With the information presented above - what would you do? Donate or not, and why?

Thank you for your time.

 

[.No.]

I don't really see any moral or ethical dilemma. What would your reasons for not doing it be?

 

[Just_A_Glitch]

Well, aside from the fact that its kind of awkward that your mother recommended her son's sperm, I'd say go for it. If you think the people are responsible enough to care for the kid and will love it as parents should, I don't see the issue. You're being paid to masturbate. Isn't that most guys dream?

 

[Dahni]

It probably seems weird for you to essentially be the father of a baby, but I'd say go for it. It's no skin off your nose to masturbate into a cup (or whatever it is, I'm not very clued up on the actual process of sperm donation) and you'll probably feel quite nice about the fact that you've helped that couple immensely. I can only imagine how horrible for them it must be to not be able to have children together so you'd be doing them a world of good for a few minutes of your time.

 

[martin's a madman]

You can do something nice for this couple, just make sure it's moderated by professionals and the like. If you don't have a problem with being a sperm donor, and everything can be guaranteed safe for all parties, then I'm not sure there's an issue.

Always remember it's your body and you don't have to anything you don't want to.

 

[Jadak]

Only question I can think of is the method used. If they're going to old fashioned route and require that you have sex with the woman (you did say sex with strangers was out of the question, does that mean sex with you is okay?), that's got some issues to discuss.

Otherwise, it's genetic material in a jar, big deal. Just make sure to keep track for incest avoidance purposes if you go through with it and happen to have children of your own in the reasonably near future.

 

[Rawne1980]

I'd ask the woman for a "helping hand" so to speak.

My sperm is precious to me and if someone wants it they can damn well pull it out themselves.

Joking Aside.

Morally it's fine, many people have done it and many more will do it in the future.

Just be prepared in case that kid comes knocking on your door one day. It's happened before.

But seek out some advice on the legal aspects first. I know someone who was stung for child support for doing something similar. Remember that in the eyes of the law (unless a legal "contract" is drawn up) that child is yours and if the cancer the womans husband has is terminal and she starts to struggle then legally YOU will be responsible for that child.

Not 100% sure on the whole ins and outs (forgive the pun) of it but seek advice.

Thats proper legal advice not Escapist forums legal advice.

Morally though, it's fine. Just make sure of your rights first.

 

[toughguyjoe]

If you have any worries that you will be unable to "leave it alone" after it is done, then you shouldn't do it.

If you think you can donate, let them be happy with a child that they(probably desperately) want...then do it.

As long as there is no drama later on in the childs life it should be fine.

 

[Soviet Heavy]

Financially, that's pretty nifty. that's like 700$ over here.

 

[New Frontiersman]

I don't see a reason you shouldn't do it, unless you're somehow uncomfortable being the father of a child you won't be able to take care of, which is perfectly understandable. If you don't feel comfortable doing doing then don't do it, there's nothing wrong with doing it, but you shouldn't do something your uncomfortable with doing.

 

[dvd_72]

I don't really see any moral or ethical dilemas. They've (sorta) aproached you for help making a child they really want.

Now, the real questions are if you are comfortable with these friends of the family raising a child that is biologically yours?

How do you think you'll feel in say, ten or fifteen years time when the child may want to learn who his/her real father is?

Really it all comes down to weather or not you really do want this, or if it makes you uncomfortable. If you're not entirely happy with it, I'd suggest not going for it, or at least asking for more time to think. I find this to be a bigger deal than some people make it out to be, simply because children are in general a really important decition.

Remember, "Don't do what you can't undo untill you've considered what you can't do once you've done it."

 

[legend of duty]

Nothing wrong with it but consider this you are the father and whatever happens to that child will be at the back of your mind scratching at you. If you can deal with the possibility that the child may grow up differently then you would have it then go through with it but make sure you are not legally responsible for that kid.

 

[Karma168]

Make sure you are legally protected so that if the couple split up you wont be liable for child support. Apart from that nothing wrong with it

 

[Electric Alpaca]

I don't really see any moral or ethical dilemma. What would your reasons for not doing it be?

My initial thoughts are of how serious this gentleman's condition is, and will this leave the child minus a father. The child seeking me out as a consequence of this isn't an immediate concern - but it is present.

Secondly this isn't a donation per se - there is a chain, a very close one back to me. On the off chance I should meet the child, what then? It isn't an unlikely prospect.

Third - future partners, when revealing the past this is a pretty big deal - revelation that I have sired could destroy my own family based prospects, depending on the 'understanding' of my partner. Fortunately at the moment I'm single, but it's getting to the stage where I think I should stop mucking around and look for something meaningful.

Only question I can think of is the method used. If they're going to old fashioned route and require that you have sex with the woman (you did say sex with strangers was out of the question, does that mean sex with you is okay?), that's got some issues to discuss.

Otherwise, it's genetic material in a jar, big deal. Just make sure to keep track for incest avoidance purposes if you go through with it and happen to have children of your own in the reasonably near future.

I should have been clearly on this point, sex with anyone bar her husband is out the question. In all honestly, I would not entertain this idea anyway. Call me weird, but in this circumstance, some alone time with a jar is preferable.

Not 100% sure on the whole ins and outs (forgive the pun) of it but seek advice.

Thats proper legal advice not Escapist forums legal advice.

Morally though, it's fine. Just make sure of your rights first.

Agreed, at this stage I'm weighing my own personal slant. Should I decide in favour - I will progress to researching the legalities.

Financially, that's pretty nifty. that's like 700$ over here.

Apologies, the costs refer to using official channels, via anonymous (for the most part) depositors. I stand nothing to gain from this, bar the good deed.

Remember, "Don't do what you can't undo untill you've considered what you can't do once you've done it."

A good way of putting it.

Nothing wrong with it but consider this you are the father and whatever happens to that child will be at the back of your mind scratching at you. If you can deal with the possibility that the child may grow up differently then you would have it then go through with it but make sure you are not legally responsible for that kid.

This is something that is plaguing me. I unfortunately have been party to an abortion, one completely against my will but what can you do when you're not the vessel (and quite rightly so regardless of my feelings), and this still remains a pretty active thought.

I'm a firm believer in 'Everything happens for a reason' - even if the reason takes a considerable period to manifest itself.

Is the reason for me being asked to enable a chance to 'fix' my past misstep?

Is there a reason as to why these two have been placed in this situation?

 

[LarenzoAOG]

700 bucks for something I do every few days for free? Sign me up.

 

[SilentCom]

You're going to be a daddy! No seriously, if you donate your sperm that makes you the dad... Frankly, if there is anything you're not sure of whether it is morally right or wrong, then it may not be a good idea to go through it. I mean, if you have to convince yourself there is nothing wrong then maybe there is and you don't want to look at it that way. Anyways, it's up to you, your life is made by your choices, not ours.

 

[Emperor Nat]

I would say you need to write all the pros and cons of your situation down in a big chart. If something jumps out at you, on either side, particularly strongly - put a star next to it.

Take a week to reflect, think and (if you're religious) pray.

Then go back to your chart and make a decision.

 

[NoNameMcgee]

Am the only one who noticed your profile lists you as female?

Anyway, I'd do it, I don't think genes really mean anything morally. I've even thought about donating sperm just for a bit extra cash.

 

[Evil Top Hat]

I don't really see any moral or ethical dilemma. What would your reasons for not doing it be?

IVF is tricky busines, ethically. If the process is being carried out using sperm donation and recognises the product of that donation as being his child then that clears up a lot of issues, basically. There's nothing really wrong with sperm donation, so long as you don't count "playing god" and "manipulating nature" as ethical issues.

I actually think that this is a good thing, morally. You're providing a couple with child, and giving life to another human being. You're giving those unfortunate parents a son or daughter they may not otherwise have. Frankly, I can't anything more kind that you could ever do.