Even Embers, despite the double zero back in Rotterdam, has a perfectly decent studio version.
Eurovision Thread: Swiss Cheese
- Thread starter McElroy
- Start date
Or, given their respective dates of origin, the thing in Shazam:FotG is like that cartoon.
(Although honestly, what else would that horn be used for?)
Maybe two unicorns together could knit large woollen garments for the gods.
Swedes are back at it again. In the first semifinal we have:
Cyprus: fresh meat from... Sydney, Australia? Must've taken a genius to come up with hot lyrics like "liar, liar, yeah, yeah".
Serbia: not a bad Ballad, Serbian is a nice language at least if you only hear it once a year.
Lithuania: a song that's perfectly remixable into a dance floor hit and it has a good escalation.
Ireland: holy crap. That's quite the show. I reckon modern witchcraft is a pretty much a theme about searching for your identity. And she even has the trans-flag bikini and the host points out that indeed "Bambi Thug" is into identities.
GB: okay lmao. Blatant homoeroticism played straight (hahaa, get it?!). The song is forgettable.
Ukraine: classic Ukrainian/English lyrics. And they REALLY made the cameras shake as the tubby rapper half of the duo walks around the stage. Not a bad song.
Poland: trying to capture the style from Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video. The structure of the song is too too way too simple, but otherwise the act is alright.
Croatia: channeling Käärijä from last year with the nonsense catchphrase and techno-rock and green+pink, but you can listen to it a couple of times.
Iceland: not a bad pop song from the pop universe, but I doubt it leaves a mark in Eurovision history. Most golden costume this year.
Germany: real fire on stage? The song is nothing special though. Dude had a decent energy.
Slovenia: omg, she's barely wearing anything! and the dancers even less! Too bad the whole thing is just messy
Finland: they've played this to death in the radio. Full on 90s bubblegum-something pastiche. Kept the eagle screams. Got some Austin Powers shenanigans going on as extra flavor. The singer did okay, saved by backups though. Though the spot as our representative was deserved as he did well in the national final without backup singing.
Moldova: sexy mum energy, but I didn't really pay attention
Sweden: Norwegians? Anyways, this is a Swedish entry we have heard and seen a million times. The song is forgettable (hahaa, get it??). Or rather it gets mixed up with so many other songs. Like a budget version of The Kid LAROI's Stay
Azerbaijan: they send these ballads every other year don't they? Kinda sucks tbh. Like, what are the mustache-guy's vocals?
Australia: otherwise honestly a nice song and the aesthetic is interesting too, but it also tries at least three different hooks (the didgeridoo, 'mil ka li la', 'billion-nillions') that all suck.
Portugal: despite great competitors, her nails are the longest. It's one of the better envisioned shows, and I guess the song is alright too.
Luxembourg: lots of stuff splattered against the stage and some of it sticks. All over the place but the flow is still consistent. Then again in the end it's mostly a 'lalala' kind of piece.
This time there are no jury votes so the ones that are left out of the final are Moldova, Poland, Iceland, Australia and probably Ireland or Luxembourg. Believe it or not audiences don't usually like language gimmicks like Australia had tonight.
Edit: almost correct with my predics. Azerbaijan finally sent a song bad enough to not qualify.
Cyprus: fresh meat from... Sydney, Australia? Must've taken a genius to come up with hot lyrics like "liar, liar, yeah, yeah".
Serbia: not a bad Ballad, Serbian is a nice language at least if you only hear it once a year.
Lithuania: a song that's perfectly remixable into a dance floor hit and it has a good escalation.
Ireland: holy crap. That's quite the show. I reckon modern witchcraft is a pretty much a theme about searching for your identity. And she even has the trans-flag bikini and the host points out that indeed "Bambi Thug" is into identities.
GB: okay lmao. Blatant homoeroticism played straight (hahaa, get it?!). The song is forgettable.
Ukraine: classic Ukrainian/English lyrics. And they REALLY made the cameras shake as the tubby rapper half of the duo walks around the stage. Not a bad song.
Poland: trying to capture the style from Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video. The structure of the song is too too way too simple, but otherwise the act is alright.
Croatia: channeling Käärijä from last year with the nonsense catchphrase and techno-rock and green+pink, but you can listen to it a couple of times.
Iceland: not a bad pop song from the pop universe, but I doubt it leaves a mark in Eurovision history. Most golden costume this year.
Germany: real fire on stage? The song is nothing special though. Dude had a decent energy.
Slovenia: omg, she's barely wearing anything! and the dancers even less! Too bad the whole thing is just messy
Finland: they've played this to death in the radio. Full on 90s bubblegum-something pastiche. Kept the eagle screams. Got some Austin Powers shenanigans going on as extra flavor. The singer did okay, saved by backups though. Though the spot as our representative was deserved as he did well in the national final without backup singing.
Moldova: sexy mum energy, but I didn't really pay attention
Sweden: Norwegians? Anyways, this is a Swedish entry we have heard and seen a million times. The song is forgettable (hahaa, get it??). Or rather it gets mixed up with so many other songs. Like a budget version of The Kid LAROI's Stay
Azerbaijan: they send these ballads every other year don't they? Kinda sucks tbh. Like, what are the mustache-guy's vocals?
Australia: otherwise honestly a nice song and the aesthetic is interesting too, but it also tries at least three different hooks (the didgeridoo, 'mil ka li la', 'billion-nillions') that all suck.
Portugal: despite great competitors, her nails are the longest. It's one of the better envisioned shows, and I guess the song is alright too.
Luxembourg: lots of stuff splattered against the stage and some of it sticks. All over the place but the flow is still consistent. Then again in the end it's mostly a 'lalala' kind of piece.
This time there are no jury votes so the ones that are left out of the final are Moldova, Poland, Iceland, Australia and probably Ireland or Luxembourg. Believe it or not audiences don't usually like language gimmicks like Australia had tonight.
Edit: almost correct with my predics. Azerbaijan finally sent a song bad enough to not qualify.
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Malta: 10 songwriters. Added on top of each other it mixes into a fast show with fast singing, fast dancing, fast everything. But hey, it's not broken and certainly stands out.
Albania: funny enough apparently the stage production is Finnish in this one. A very vocals-focused performance with a nice aesthetic imo.
Greece: stuff you'd expect to hear in the MTV Latin Music Awards (though not in Greek). TikTok-gen stuff.
Switzerland: A good song and performance that works well with the stage being very kinetic and backing vocals patching up if the dude slips up. In Eurovision you don't lose points for looking like a total fruit, so it's all good.
Czechia: honestly I prefer when the girl power aspect is a bit more nuanced like here. The song itself isn't special but not bad either.
France: doesn't leave a big impression. Seems like a nice guy and a good singer.
Austria: huh... seems like there's no shortage of hot women in glitter and their hunky dance crews this year. Takes me back to the turn of the millennium.
Denmark: littering the stage with sand... why? What an awful visual. Some years ago there was another performance with actual sand art performed live and now it's like... CGI sand and sparkles.
Armenia: haha, I guess this is pretty funny. But it's supposed to be funny. And since nobody can understand Armenian, the lalala is catchy enough.
Latvia: wearing a blue musculatis torso piece. Latvian Hozier with a song to match. Not the hair though. Because Dons is bald.
Spain: won't be last place this time. More half naked dancing dudes dressed up like a pair of zorras indeed. What a great song, but the visuals are distracting.
San Marino: they often send total trash, but a metal song is always refreshing.
Georgia: we have had diablos, phoenixes, fuegos and so on many times before in recent years. Don't fix what ain't broken, I guess.
Belgium: some glitter and white clothes are in this year. Dude has a good time, but the song isn't particularly memorable. I forgot about it already.
Estonia: a Finnish version of this would top our charts for the whole summer. Says something about the mentality here. Reminds me of that Mongolian rock band without the throat singing.
Italy: pretty good. Gets kinda lost in the mix at this time.
Israel: a show that hits like missile into an apartment building. Anyway, a great performance and the song is a very clean ballad. Obviously the political baggage weighs it all down.
Norway: I love the chorus and it's a great song in other respects too. Also they seal San Marino's fate as I imagine any fan of rock music would prefer this to theirs.
Netherlands: lmao womp womp
Prediction: The 6 countries NOT to qualify are San Marino, Denmark, Albania (sadly, mum energy is disrespected even though I dunno how old the singer even is), Israel, Georgia, and Belgium. Though it's a bit of a toss up between the similar female dance tracks. All in all it's a more tight semi than the first one.
Albania: funny enough apparently the stage production is Finnish in this one. A very vocals-focused performance with a nice aesthetic imo.
Greece: stuff you'd expect to hear in the MTV Latin Music Awards (though not in Greek). TikTok-gen stuff.
Switzerland: A good song and performance that works well with the stage being very kinetic and backing vocals patching up if the dude slips up. In Eurovision you don't lose points for looking like a total fruit, so it's all good.
Czechia: honestly I prefer when the girl power aspect is a bit more nuanced like here. The song itself isn't special but not bad either.
France: doesn't leave a big impression. Seems like a nice guy and a good singer.
Austria: huh... seems like there's no shortage of hot women in glitter and their hunky dance crews this year. Takes me back to the turn of the millennium.
Denmark: littering the stage with sand... why? What an awful visual. Some years ago there was another performance with actual sand art performed live and now it's like... CGI sand and sparkles.
Armenia: haha, I guess this is pretty funny. But it's supposed to be funny. And since nobody can understand Armenian, the lalala is catchy enough.
Latvia: wearing a blue musculatis torso piece. Latvian Hozier with a song to match. Not the hair though. Because Dons is bald.
Spain: won't be last place this time. More half naked dancing dudes dressed up like a pair of zorras indeed. What a great song, but the visuals are distracting.
San Marino: they often send total trash, but a metal song is always refreshing.
Georgia: we have had diablos, phoenixes, fuegos and so on many times before in recent years. Don't fix what ain't broken, I guess.
Belgium: some glitter and white clothes are in this year. Dude has a good time, but the song isn't particularly memorable. I forgot about it already.
Estonia: a Finnish version of this would top our charts for the whole summer. Says something about the mentality here. Reminds me of that Mongolian rock band without the throat singing.
Italy: pretty good. Gets kinda lost in the mix at this time.
Israel: a show that hits like missile into an apartment building. Anyway, a great performance and the song is a very clean ballad. Obviously the political baggage weighs it all down.
Norway: I love the chorus and it's a great song in other respects too. Also they seal San Marino's fate as I imagine any fan of rock music would prefer this to theirs.
Netherlands: lmao womp womp
Prediction: The 6 countries NOT to qualify are San Marino, Denmark, Albania (sadly, mum energy is disrespected even though I dunno how old the singer even is), Israel, Georgia, and Belgium. Though it's a bit of a toss up between the similar female dance tracks. All in all it's a more tight semi than the first one.
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- Feb 7, 2011
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I have to admit I have not really kept up with Eurovision 2024. That's mostly because it's my wife that keeps a laser focus on it, but she's boycotting it this year because of Israel being allowed to compete despite it mass murdering Palestinians. Never mind the obvious political angle of (the initial version of) the song.
She was hoping Israel would get dumped out in the semis to give her a reasonable excuse to watch the finals, but unfortunately now that's out.
Haha, women... Anyway in another interesting turn of events the Netherlands is withdrown from the competition because Joost Klein had some incident. EBU is in the middle of an emergency meeting as we speak due to something unrelated. What a party. esit: Thus far it looks like he got himself into a criminal investigation for raising his voice a little upon provocation.
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I quite enjoyed the presenter's little song and dance during the tallying of the votes.
So it seems the Netherlands were banned from Eurovision? Why? Plenty of rumors. Did the Dutch contested punch a rival team for insulting his dead parents? Did Israel take revenge for him mildly questining the other team. Did he abuse a staff member?
Well we now have the answer. Apparently the Dutch got banned because the Dutch singer.....mildly brushed against the camera of an overly pushy reporter who broke all agreements and kept filming him when she shouldn't be there.
Its clear the Dutch were banned purely because sabotage from the organizers. Even if we give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they at first thought Joost Klein had done something wrong then this should have been retracted the moment they found out what actually happened, but instead they just banned him. They should have just said sorry and continued as usual, but they refused to take that path.
Even worse then that they also slandered him. They refused to say what happened but did say it was about a ''violent'' confrontation with a woman, leaving room for interpretation he was some sort of sex offender or wife beater rather than him just having mildly touched the camera of an overly pushy reporter who broke her agreements.
And you know? Its actually not fair for Israel either. Due to the radio silence the rumor mill pretty firmly landed on the Israel team having sabotaged the Dutch team(entrapping him by insulting his dead parents so he'd rightfully retaliate), while the actual truth is significantly more mundane and doesn't even involve Israel.
Well we now have the answer. Apparently the Dutch got banned because the Dutch singer.....mildly brushed against the camera of an overly pushy reporter who broke all agreements and kept filming him when she shouldn't be there.
Its clear the Dutch were banned purely because sabotage from the organizers. Even if we give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they at first thought Joost Klein had done something wrong then this should have been retracted the moment they found out what actually happened, but instead they just banned him. They should have just said sorry and continued as usual, but they refused to take that path.
Even worse then that they also slandered him. They refused to say what happened but did say it was about a ''violent'' confrontation with a woman, leaving room for interpretation he was some sort of sex offender or wife beater rather than him just having mildly touched the camera of an overly pushy reporter who broke her agreements.
And you know? Its actually not fair for Israel either. Due to the radio silence the rumor mill pretty firmly landed on the Israel team having sabotaged the Dutch team(entrapping him by insulting his dead parents so he'd rightfully retaliate), while the actual truth is significantly more mundane and doesn't even involve Israel.
Wait Israel had more than one Israel song about their ethnic cleansing and didn't go with their first?
Gotta be in the running for the world's worst aging music out there I reckon.
Gotta be in the running for the world's worst aging music out there I reckon.
Yeah, this was pretty fucking weird. My only guess is Eurovision was on a hair trigger due to the heated sentiment regarding Israel competing - protests and contestants possibly making political statements - and this one incident made them blow the fuck up. Unless this was the first time in the history of Eurovision where there was a mild scuffle.
The contrast though between Israel being allowed to compete while in the mids of commiting genocide, but the Netherlands got booted over one guy being mildly rude to a camera woman... I mean, it was always pretty clear what a fucking sham Eurovision was, but this one takes the cake.
We're being such a doormat about this. The Netherlands was still allowed to announce the points they give to other countries which would be the perfect time to make a statement. Instead they refused to name their points and instead the host of the event(which sabotaged us) will read our points without us.
This was a decision of the Dutch broadcasting group and that they pass up this chance is pathetic. They should have caused some chaos. Say ''We give 12 points to the Netherlands!'' or just loudly blast Europapa during the point giving.
We're the betrayed party. We don't owe it to Eurovision to help do damage control.
This was a decision of the Dutch broadcasting group and that they pass up this chance is pathetic. They should have caused some chaos. Say ''We give 12 points to the Netherlands!'' or just loudly blast Europapa during the point giving.
We're the betrayed party. We don't owe it to Eurovision to help do damage control.