Now I must admit. I?m usually very cynical when it comes to my movies. I may mention how one movies is completely stupid to point of brain numbing (Dawn of the Dead remake) where I may mention in others that stupid brain numbing movies are actually good fun to watch (Godzilla Final Wars). There?s a thin line between what can be fun and what isn?t. A movie with gapping plot holes left out in the clear for all to see and trip through isn?t my idea of fun, but when a movie goes out of its way to hastily fix it up by throwing something over them (insert giant fire breathing lizard) I can usually ignore those holes and focus on something else. Slither is defiantly in the latter category. While it doesn?t have 50ft tall building smashing lizards, it does manage to fill it?s own plot holes and mistakes with great big buckets of guts and slime.
Slither is a movie made to be watched through the cracks of your hands. Not the sort of ?cover your eyes? because of the gore, shock, horror, or what have you, but because of how utterly gross it is. Remember when you were young and you used to play with snails to scare off the girls? Remember how fun that was? Well Slither is basically that. A woman gets pumped full of alien juice so much so that she bloats up to the size of a house becoming a sort of sickening alien womb. A man is stabbed with an insect looking thing and turns into some half squid and goes around town killing off pets to feed his newly developed hoard. Little slug creatures burrow into your mouth and zombify you making you cough up some form of corrosive spit. Disgusting? Foul? Uncouth? There was a reason why this movie is called Slither. This is the movie that not only brought back my faith in James Gunn, after the atrociously wooden Dawn of the Dead screen play, but made me love that lil? guy again for the fact that it?s just such a fun film.
A gold star is awarded to Slither for the amount of times they can tastefully shout the word fuck. ?It?s like trying to find a needle in a fuckstack,? publicizes Wally whilst searching for the half squid alien. ?If I weren?t about to shit my pants right now, I?d be fucking fascinated,? proclaims Jack MacReady when enlightened about the secrets of the universe. Even the alien squid man has a go at using the word, ?I?ve been around a million years! You think you can fuck with me!? The word fuck seems to be overused during the course of the movie like a neglected cheap hooker. Seriously, $5 a go was a bargain!
Another gold star goes is put on because Slither also stars Nathan Fillion as Mal from Firefly. As the story goes, Mal stumbles into a warp hole that sucks him back to the 2000?s. Mal gave up his job as a space pirate and changed his name to Bill Pardy to settle down as a cop. His character other then that it pretty much unaltered. His main love interest is less of a prostitute then before and is now a high school teacher and old childhood sweetheart played by Elizabeth Banks. Lizzy (yeah, we?re on a first name basis) is married to local millionaire Grant Grant. No joke, that really is his full name. GG gets transformed into a frankensteinian-squid monster who can be paralleled to a more nauseating, slimy King Kong. But unlike Kong, no one seems to give a shit when he dies. Yes the antagonist dies. I?m sorry for ruining the plot but that generally happens in films now days.
The story in Slither is bland at most. Grotesque alien life form terrorizes small American backwater town. A main group of characters, somehow linked to the alien, band together and defeat the monster while piecing their own pathetic lives together. It?s just old ground covered in an inch think of slim and alien slugs, but it seems to work for this movie. One thing that got to me, and one thing that I generally hate altogether, is the deus ex machina. A brain-obsessing slug tries to make off with a minor character?s (soon to be turned major) brain but is stopped when that little ***** sinks her nails into the poor defenseless creatures plastic underbelly. While this is going on, the creature somehow reviles all the bad guys nasty plot like some squealing James Bond villain who loves his plan so much they want to bellow it out to the whole world. Whenever these things are announced in movies it just makes it feel like the scriptwriter just ran out of space and decided to quickly jot in a few dot points to get the rest of the plot moving again before it slips off into being (god forbid) different then others.
The only reason for watching this film is for: hot chicks, slim, tentacle monsters? oh wait, this is sounding a lot like some Japanese hentai now. Hmm, better mix this up fast?zombies, guts and Nathan Fillion. Most dialogue is witty on paper but doesn?t translate well to film but is easily overlooked by how fun it all is. Like Godzilla, this isn?t a movie to stress your brain about. Just leave it at the doggy door for a bit, grab some lightly buttered popcorn and enjoy 92 minutes of meaningless gore.
Slither is a movie made to be watched through the cracks of your hands. Not the sort of ?cover your eyes? because of the gore, shock, horror, or what have you, but because of how utterly gross it is. Remember when you were young and you used to play with snails to scare off the girls? Remember how fun that was? Well Slither is basically that. A woman gets pumped full of alien juice so much so that she bloats up to the size of a house becoming a sort of sickening alien womb. A man is stabbed with an insect looking thing and turns into some half squid and goes around town killing off pets to feed his newly developed hoard. Little slug creatures burrow into your mouth and zombify you making you cough up some form of corrosive spit. Disgusting? Foul? Uncouth? There was a reason why this movie is called Slither. This is the movie that not only brought back my faith in James Gunn, after the atrociously wooden Dawn of the Dead screen play, but made me love that lil? guy again for the fact that it?s just such a fun film.
A gold star is awarded to Slither for the amount of times they can tastefully shout the word fuck. ?It?s like trying to find a needle in a fuckstack,? publicizes Wally whilst searching for the half squid alien. ?If I weren?t about to shit my pants right now, I?d be fucking fascinated,? proclaims Jack MacReady when enlightened about the secrets of the universe. Even the alien squid man has a go at using the word, ?I?ve been around a million years! You think you can fuck with me!? The word fuck seems to be overused during the course of the movie like a neglected cheap hooker. Seriously, $5 a go was a bargain!
Another gold star goes is put on because Slither also stars Nathan Fillion as Mal from Firefly. As the story goes, Mal stumbles into a warp hole that sucks him back to the 2000?s. Mal gave up his job as a space pirate and changed his name to Bill Pardy to settle down as a cop. His character other then that it pretty much unaltered. His main love interest is less of a prostitute then before and is now a high school teacher and old childhood sweetheart played by Elizabeth Banks. Lizzy (yeah, we?re on a first name basis) is married to local millionaire Grant Grant. No joke, that really is his full name. GG gets transformed into a frankensteinian-squid monster who can be paralleled to a more nauseating, slimy King Kong. But unlike Kong, no one seems to give a shit when he dies. Yes the antagonist dies. I?m sorry for ruining the plot but that generally happens in films now days.
The story in Slither is bland at most. Grotesque alien life form terrorizes small American backwater town. A main group of characters, somehow linked to the alien, band together and defeat the monster while piecing their own pathetic lives together. It?s just old ground covered in an inch think of slim and alien slugs, but it seems to work for this movie. One thing that got to me, and one thing that I generally hate altogether, is the deus ex machina. A brain-obsessing slug tries to make off with a minor character?s (soon to be turned major) brain but is stopped when that little ***** sinks her nails into the poor defenseless creatures plastic underbelly. While this is going on, the creature somehow reviles all the bad guys nasty plot like some squealing James Bond villain who loves his plan so much they want to bellow it out to the whole world. Whenever these things are announced in movies it just makes it feel like the scriptwriter just ran out of space and decided to quickly jot in a few dot points to get the rest of the plot moving again before it slips off into being (god forbid) different then others.
The only reason for watching this film is for: hot chicks, slim, tentacle monsters? oh wait, this is sounding a lot like some Japanese hentai now. Hmm, better mix this up fast?zombies, guts and Nathan Fillion. Most dialogue is witty on paper but doesn?t translate well to film but is easily overlooked by how fun it all is. Like Godzilla, this isn?t a movie to stress your brain about. Just leave it at the doggy door for a bit, grab some lightly buttered popcorn and enjoy 92 minutes of meaningless gore.
