EXP: ScrewAttack's DEATH BATTLE! Batman vs. Spiderman

[ScrewAttack]

ScrewAttack's DEATH BATTLE! Batman vs. Spiderman

DC Comics VS Marvel! The dark knight battles the web crawler in a duel to the finish! Who will win? Who will die?

Watch Video

 

[Something Amyss]

I support the victory of Spider-Man, quite frankly. It angered people on YouTube, though, and I imagine it will anger them here, too.

 

[Gorrath]

I support the conclusion if there's no prep time. If there were prep time, Batman's detective skills would be far greater than Spidey's and he would have doses of the spider toxin and chemicals/gadgets to overcome his webs, which would rob Spidey of his two most important advantages, leaving Batman the winner.

 

[cerebus23]

Except batman plans ahead, why he has a file on every superhero in the dc universe. And a plan to beat them all.

But yea on the basis of powers only batman would get his arse handed to him just about every time since he can only bench 1k lbs. vs spideys 10 tons, or supermans 100 million tons. And his wholly human speed.

take his planning and prep out and he isnt batman anymore.

 

[Lunar Templar]

Yeah, I'm ok with this.

heh, any one else find it amusing these are more credible then the show on Spike TV?

 

[Sheen Lantern]

God I'm tired of Batman fanboys.

"Waaah but Batman didn't have prep time"

"AAAAAA BUT YOU DIDN'T GIVE BATMAN PRREEEEP TIIIIIIIIIME"

"PREREEEEEEEEEEE3REREP TIIIIIMEMEMMEME"

You also forgot the hyphen in Spider-Man.

 

[Rossco64]

Anyone else think this whole prep-time schtick makes Batman kinda boring? How is it any different to Superman's powers?

 

[JSW]

The only way Batman could beat Spider-Man in a fight is if he got prep time and Spider-Man didn't. Peter Parker is smarter than Bruce Wayne, and while he doesn't have the resources of the Wayne empire to work with, he has more than enough technical know-how to come up with a counter to anything Batman could throw at him, and his super-powers would always give him the edge in a physical fight.

 

[Ghadente]

hero vs superhero :: superhero wins
power vs superpower :: superpower wins

batman vs Spiderman :: Spidey Wins!

i concur.

I enjoy these death battles, despite agreeing or not with them, more please

 

[Drago-Morph]

Fantastic battle. Proper victory, too.

I'd like to take a moment that if Batman got prep time, then Spidey would too, which would bring us back to the same conclusion. It's important to remember Spidey is a super-genius in and of himself and was using his prep time at 15 years old to take down people way more dangerous than anyone Batman ever fought on his own (a la Electro). And considering Mysterio has a similar shtick to Batman (albeit far more flamboyantly), I think Spider-Man would win pretty nicely.

 

[crazygameguy4ever]

i remember this death battle from last year on screwattck.com... still think Batman should have won..he's got far more fighting experience then Spider-man.

 

[nightmare_gorilla]

i agree the spider sense takes it. batman is a fantastic hand to hand fighter but he does rely on deception and misdirection to even the odds when fighting opponents with super powers, spider sense is in essence precognition which means most of batman's attacks would be pre-empted and it's not the type of power that is evident from just examination he wouldn't know about the spider sense he would just think it's reflexes. spidey takes it. although batman and spider-man have teamed up before in cross-overs so it's possible bats might have a file on spider-man somewhere.

 

[Something Amyss]

I support the conclusion if there's no prep time. If there were prep time, Batman's detective skills would be far greater than Spidey's and he would have doses of the spider toxin and chemicals/gadgets to overcome his webs, which would rob Spidey of his two most important advantages, leaving Batman the winner.

Of course, Spider-Man's a bloody genius himself, and that's why they assumed what they did.

take his planning and prep out and he isnt batman anymore.

Yes, take out his plot armour and he's actually a boring old hero with no actual superpowers for once, rather than a walking deus ex machina.

God I'm tired of Batman fanboys.

"Waaah but Batman didn't have prep time"

"AAAAAA BUT YOU DIDN'T GIVE BATMAN PRREEEEP TIIIIIIIIIME"

"PREREEEEEEEEEEE3REREP TIIIIIMEMEMMEME"

You also forgot the hyphen in Spider-Man.

to be fair, they've been conditioned by decades of lazy writing.

Anyone else think this whole prep-time schtick makes Batman kinda boring? How is it any different to Superman's powers?

It affords the illusion that Batman's a normal man with no super-powers. Even if the ability for the writer to literally ass-pull anything they want and say he "planned ahead" is a quick excuse to write your way out of any corner and a waaaay more useful superpower than anything Superman has in his arsenal.

It should be a joke, like the Chuck Norris meme, but instead, it's played completely straight.

 

[Sheen Lantern]

Batman should have won..he's got far more fighting experience then Spider-man.

'Fighting experience' can't save you from someone who can crush steel with his fingers, demolish a building with his bare hands and lift things weighing upwards of 85 tons with ease.

Especially when that someone can hit with the speed of machine gun fire, dodge machine gun fire like it's nothing, dodge faster-than-light attacks and even predict the events of the fight before it happens.

Oh, and did I mention how ridiculously durable this someone his? Yeah, anyone without upper levels of superhuman strength find him physically painful to punch.

Spoiler: Warning: Massive amount of Spider-Man scans

Tears Doc Ock's Titanium tentacles like paper.

Tears them again.

Ouch, tears even more titanium.

Now, if he can do that to the hardest metal known to man, don't you think he could do it to one of Batman's limbs? Or maybe his head? Worth a thought.

Here he demolishes an entire building just to relieve some stress:

Lifts a metro train car, which weigh upwards of 80 tons.

Crushes steel as if it were paper:

Ouch, if Batman throws a punch at Spidey and he grabs his hand. And then squeezes, Batman's gonna have a bad time.

Oh, what's that? "Batman has armour"? Fat lot of good that's gonna do against Spider-Man.

Gives Iron Man a brutal beating, don't even try to argue that the Batsuit has better shielding than the Iron Man suit.

And before you say "Oh, Spider-Man had the Black Suit in that scan". The Black Suit never gave Spider-Man any kind of physical boost in the comics, that was a fabrication of the cartoon and Sam Raimi films. It was never the case in the original comics.

Alright, I think we've established that if Spider-Man actually gets to Batman, he's toast. As for getting to Batman...

Travels 2 miles in 5 seconds just using his parkour.

Punches with the speed of machine gun fire.

Easilly avoids attacks moving at the speed of light.

Dodges more lightspeed attacks.

His reflexes are 40 times faster than a human's, and that's without taking his spider-sense into account, no way Batman would be able to keep up.

Scorpion, who is even stronger than Spider-Man finds him physically painful to hit, and remarks that it's like hitting a bulldozer.

People without Superpowers simply cannot hurt Spider-Man.
And don't try to argue with one of Batman's gadgets, Spider-Man's sheer physical power negates all of them.

He can survive without air twice the length of time a human can. The world record for held breath is 22.5 minutes. Meaning Spider-Man can survive 45 minutes without taking a single breath. Meaning no gas.

He can survive massive electric shocks, meaning no taser.

Poisons and the like don't affect his superhuman immune system.

Can fight in complete darkness using his spider-sense.

Alright, Batman fanboys. Cough up the goods. How exactly does Batman beat someone this damn powerful? He isn't fighting Superman here, but he may as well be.

 

[Gorrath]

I support the conclusion if there's no prep time. If there were prep time, Batman's detective skills would be far greater than Spidey's and he would have doses of the spider toxin and chemicals/gadgets to overcome his webs, which would rob Spidey of his two most important advantages, leaving Batman the winner.

Of course, Spider-Man's a bloody genius himself, and that's why they assumed what they did.

He is indeed, but while he is smart, that does not make him on-par with Batman's detective abilities, which would presumably allow batman to find out how to defeat Spidey's webs and about the spider toxin. What's more, I think calling out Batman on the whole prep time schtick is kind of silly considering how they shoe-horn in excuses for nearly every super hero after they've written them into a corner.

Alright, Batman fanboys. Cough up the goods. How exactly does Batman beat someone this damn powerful? He isn't fighting Superman here, but he may as well be.

Not a Batman fanboy myself, but presumably he'd find out about the spider toxin and use it. Essentially, he'd beat Spider-man the same way he'd beat Superman. But again, this assumes that he has time to do the detective work needed to discover these things. I know they called the prep time part of it even on account of Parker being a genius, but I don't see how him being smart equates to him out thinking Batman. Heck, one of the reasons Spidey ever even gets into trouble is because he tends to be rather impetuous and does not properly think things through or plan ahead. It's one of his basic character traits.

 

[Sheen Lantern]

Alright, Batman fanboys. Cough up the goods. How exactly does Batman beat someone this damn powerful? He isn't fighting Superman here, but he may as well be.

Not a Batman fanboy myself, but presumably he'd find out about the spider toxin and use it. Essentially, he'd beat Spider-man the same way he'd bear Superman. But again, this assumes that he has time to do the detective work needed to discover these things. I know they called the prep time part of it even on account of Parker being a genius, but I don't see how him being smart equates to him out thinking Batman.

Yes, you are a Batman fanboy, the very next thing you say is "If he had prep time he'd find a way to insta-win". The typical Batfanboy argument.

Muster one sentence assuming that Batman has no prep time. Oh wait, I can already guess what it's gonna be:

"[sub][sub]well yeah i guess spider-man might win[/sub][/sub] [strong] OH BUT IF BATMAN HAD TIME TO PREPARE THE FIGHT WOULD BE TOTALLY DIFFERENT BATMAN WOULD STOMP SPIDER-MAN[/strong]" etc. etc.

I also hate it when people make shit up about Batman, he's never beaten Superman or the Justice League.

inb4 You bring up the Dark Knight Returns and make yourself look stupid.

 

[Gorrath]

Alright, Batman fanboys. Cough up the goods. How exactly does Batman beat someone this damn powerful? He isn't fighting Superman here, but he may as well be.

Not a Batman fanboy myself, but presumably he'd find out about the spider toxin and use it. Essentially, he'd beat Spider-man the same way he'd bear Superman. But again, this assumes that he has time to do the detective work needed to discover these things. I know they called the prep time part of it even on account of Parker being a genius, but I don't see how him being smart equates to him out thinking Batman.

Yes, you are a Batman fanboy, the very next thing you say is "If he had prep time he'd find a way to insta-win". The typical Batfanboy argument.

Muster one sentence assuming that Batman has no prep time. Oh wait, I can already guess what it's gonna be:

"[sub][sub]well yeah i guess spider-man might win[/sub][/sub] [strong] OH BUT IF BATMAN HAD TIME TO PREPARE THE FIGHT WOULD BE TOTALLY DIFFERENT BATMAN WOULD STOMP SPIDER-MAN[/strong]" etc. etc.

I also hate it when people make shit up about Batman, he's never beaten Superman or the Justice League.

inb4 You bring up the Dark Knight Returns and make yourself look stupid.

First of all, no, I'm not a Batman fanboy thanks. I don't particularly care for him as a character and last time I checked I get to make the determination about what I am and am not a fan of. I didn't say jack about an insta win, what I talked about were ESTABLISHED CANON ways that have been used to beat Spidey that are well within what Batman could conceivably discover and implement.

Second of all, I didn't say anything about Batman stomping anyone, so here you continue to cram words in my mouth and I'd super appreciate it if you could stop that. What I actually talked about were the ways Batman could used these established weaknesses that Spidey has and exploit them, something Batman does regularly in his own canon.

Lastly, it has been established many times that Batman does have plans to beat every member of the JL. In fact, his plans were used against them to great effect and nearly led to the death of Superman. And you are dead wrong about Batman having never beaten Superman, he has, in several different iterations. Whether you accept those iterations as canon or not is up to you, I don't particularly care.

As for your last line, how about a little maturity here eh?

 

[Raika]

I can't wait until this forum catches wind of the episode with Goku and Superman.

 

[2xDouble]

Though I agree mostly with the conclusions here, I question Batman's portrayed methods. Whatever else he is, Batman is a ninja. It's true the Batmans's/ninja's main weapon is the element of surprise, and that is (almost) completely negated by the Spider Sense. Bats, like any good ninja, would have figured this out almost instantly and withdrawn, only to poke and prod Spidey with a series of skirmishes to test his defenses and withdrawing again after each brief encounter over several days, if not weeks. Bats would harass the shit out of Spidey, and analyze the data collected from those fights to change his tactics/develop gadgets accordingly. Ultimately, Spidey would have figured out he was being played and forced one such encounter to a definitive conclusion, most likely by feigning a subtle, but exploitable weakness (something all great detectives, even Batman, have difficulty avoiding).

 

[Sheen Lantern]

Though I agree mostly with the conclusions here, I question Batman's portrayed methods. Whatever else he is, Batman is a ninja. It's true the Batmans's/ninja's main weapon is the element of surprise, and that is (almost) completely negated by the Spider Sense. Bats, like any good ninja, would have figured this out almost instantly and withdrawn, only to poke and prod Spidey with a series of skirmishes to test his defenses and withdrawing again after each brief encounter over several days, if not weeks. Bats would harass the shit out of Spidey, and analyze the data collected from those fights to change his tactics/develop gadgets accordingly. Ultimately, Spidey would have figured out he was being played and forced one such encounter to a definitive conclusion, most likely by feigning a subtle, but exploitable weakness (something all great detectives, even Batman, have difficulty avoiding).

That's not a Death Battle, a Death Battle is when they are dropped into a fight to the death. Unless you meant that Batman would try to escape, in which I'll refer you to my scans above. Which prove Batman wouldn't survive the briefest encounter with Peter Parker.