F My Life! (FML)

[Damien the Pigeon]

What is your biggest FML moment? (FML= F my life)

Example: Today I was driving to an important meeting and had 10 minutes to get there. I saw an electronic sign that said "Time to Downtown: 9-11 minutes." I felt pretty good about that until I saw the sign change in front of my eyes. It then read "18-21 minutes. Extreme Delays Downtown." FML.

EDIT: I know that there's a site for this, but I want to know about my fellow Escapists' FML moments.

 

[cathou]

it was a long time ago but :

Today, i swear to my mom that i wasn't a lesbian and that i didn't have sex in her home with girls. Then my mom showed me the bra that my last date forgot under my bed, which was obviously not mine because it wasn't my size at all. fml

 

[Rhayn]

When I got turned down for three jobs in one day. Damn this recession.

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

I love these threads! They make me feel better about myself and my life.

 

[hotacidbath]

This morning when I was registering for classes and everything I need is filled up since they only offer one fucking section with 20 damn seats. This pretty much guarantees that I'm going to be in school for an extra year.

 

[Abedeus]

During 65 minutes of a bike ride, I swore hatred upon... 30 people? Few idiots that can't tell apart grey area of the sidewalk for pedestrians, and a purple area for cyclists. And I had a moral dillema - ignore them and drive to the left, ignore them and ram into their big, fat asses or drive to the left and ask if they are retarded idiots.

Also, people that like to get under my wheels. I mean, when I'm turning to the left, it isn't because I have problems with movement. It's because I WANT TO MAKE IT EASY FOR ME AND YOU TO PASS! I don't want you in front of me, because I just tried to avoid it!! God...

One more time, and I'm really, really not going to change sides again.

 

[KungFuMaster]

This.

/thread

 

[cathou]

it was a long time ago but :

Today, i swear to my mom that i wasn't a lesbian and that i didn't have sex in her home with girls. Then my mom showed me the bra that my last date forgot under my bed, which was obviously not mine because it wasn't my size at all. fml

See, when she asked a question like "Are you gay and having sex with other girls in my house," you should've suspected something was up.

Also, I love that site, but it's so depressing sometimes...

yes but i was young and i had hope that she didnt suspect. It wasnt rather unusual for her to ask, because the year before, the first girl i fall i love with manage to let my mom know about it. but i told her it was just an experience, and she was suspicious since that...

 

[Damien the Pigeon]

it was a long time ago but :

Today, i swear to my mom that i wasn't a lesbian and that i didn't have sex in her home with girls. Then my mom showed me the bra that my last date forgot under my bed, which was obviously not mine because it wasn't my size at all. fml

See, when she asked a question like "Are you gay and having sex with other girls in my house," you should've suspected something was up.

Also, I love that site, but it's so depressing sometimes...

Yeah, but when I'm already depressed, it seems to have the opposite effect. I actually made a thread an hour ago that was supposed to make everyone feel good through the use of compliments, but nobody posted on it, so this just goes to show that people tend to focus on negatives.

Anyway, to stay on point:
The other day, I decided to cook for myself. I don't usually cook, so this was special. I made everything as well as I could and arranged it nicely on a plate. When I was carrying it to my seat, I tripped and watched as my meticulously-made meal flew spilled onto the floor. And my mom. And my sister. FML

 

[AkJay]

i love FML, but it's starting to get really popular in my school, so everyone is like "oh-em-gee have oyu seen this funny site, el-oh-el" and all i can do is look at them in disgust while muttering a "yes" not to mention everyone is saying "ef-ehm-el" after the minorist inconvenience.

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

I love these threads! They make me feel better about myself and my life.

http://www.fmylife.com/
I just made your day better.

That you did. Some of this shit is hilarious, although some of it is just depressing, if not downright disturbing.

Oh well...

 

[ShameSpear]

Last weekend I went to a party and I got a girl to walk back to my place to "chill". On the way back we spot a trampoline in someones backyard. Being out of our minds, we decide to go jump. She broke her wrist. FML

 

[Damien the Pigeon]

Video game one:

Today, I was playing a Kirby game. I had 1 bar of health left, and the "cook" ability, which takes all the enemies on screen and turns them into health-replenishing food. There was only one enemy when I used it, and I watched the donut it turned into fall off of a cliff. I died shortly thereafter. FML.

 

[Pumpkin_Eater]

A girl agreed to go with me to a dance. Feeling pretty good at this point. The day before the event she backs out. The next night she has a blind date ಠ_ಠ

 

[Internet Kraken]

I want to play Mass Effect but I can't find the disk. So fml.

I really can't remember any major fml moments.

 

[ManiacalZManiac]

Ahaha, I love that website. I just got the app on my iPhone so I can laugh at the world's torments on the go. ^_^

 

[iJosh]

One day I woke up at 9am. FML

 

[Damien the Pigeon]

I don't make threads often, but when I do, they seem to go to the second page rather rapidly. FML.

 

[savior in death]

the most recent fml momment i can remeber is my aunt coming home and the door was locked. now in any normal family people would simply unlock the door and come in, but no my family has to be difficult. any way she comes in and finds the first nife she could and threw it aginst the wall tword MY 360 nearly missing me and the system, then another roommate next to me goes up stairs and the ***** followed her with a steak nife in hand. now i ask can anyone really top that fml?
but i do admit that things like this do make me laugh every now and then

 

[Arachon]

it was a long time ago but :

Today, i swear to my mom that i wasn't a lesbian and that i didn't have sex in her home with girls. Then my mom showed me the bra that my last date forgot under my bed, which was obviously not mine because it wasn't my size at all. fml

How the HELL does one forget their bra somewhere? I mean... won't you notice that you're missing something that's usually there? o,O