F My Life! (FML)

[frank220]

Not really MY FML moment, but funny none-the-less.
My friend's girlfriend finally agreed to go all the way with him. His parents were out of town that day and he felt it was perfect. 2 minutes after they go up to his room, they hear his parent's car in the driveway. Turns out they couldn't find lodging and had to reschedule. F his life.

 

[Bored Tomatoe]

it was a long time ago but :

Today, i swear to my mom that i wasn't a lesbian and that i didn't have sex in her home with girls. Then my mom showed me the bra that my last date forgot under my bed, which was obviously not mine because it wasn't my size at all. fml

See, when she asked a question like "Are you gay and having sex with other girls in my house," you should've suspected something was up.

Also, I love that site, but it's so depressing sometimes...

But thats a pick-me-up, all of these peoples lives suck, and you, by comparison, are on top of the world.

 

[thiosk]

it was a long time ago but :

Today, i swear to my mom that i wasn't a lesbian and that i didn't have sex in her home with girls. Then my mom showed me the bra that my last date forgot under my bed, which was obviously not mine because it wasn't my size at all. fml

I am totally way too old to say something immature'
I am totally way too old to say something immature'
I am totally still young enough to say 'thats hot.'

I have to convince myself of things before my actions.

My ex girlfriend sent me a "breakup box" four years after the break up.

Addressed to my fiance'. I quote cath as it, too, contained bras, among other things,

f m l

why must you continue to spite me, 'specially when YOU are the one that cheated? (numerous times) though if you have the dirt, thats a great way to spite someone, i must say. just not me. dammit

 

[HydraZulu]

Well, let's see. I'm being held back a year in school because the previous school I went to lost a year of my records, and I have to make it up. That's one of my worst moments. It's so embarrassing to have to say to the teacher that I'm in 11th grade to my teacher in front of all my friends that I went had classes with, that are in 12th grade. Worst part is that people probably think I've been held back, and think I'm stupid or something.

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

Life never gets me down. Mostly because I'm the most pessimistic person you've ever met. Just doesn't bother me.

 

[JodaSFU]

I just bought a new state-of-the-art PC, but because I couldn't wait and I was visiting my mom for Easter, I decided to have the parts delivered there and assemble it. Now I have to wait a month, before she comes with it, when she has a meeting around where I live, and I'm stuck with my crappy laptop until then.. The worst part is, now I have tried something better so I can't even bring myself to play on my laptop.

Kinda lame compared to some of the other stuff in here.. but it's ubearable to me.

 

[bodyklok]

People keep on asking me if my life sucks, so FML!

 

[traceur_]

The most recent fml moment I can remember is my aunt coming home and the door was locked. Now in any normal family people would simply unlock the door and come in, but no my family has to be difficult. Anyway she comes in and finds the first knife she could and threw it against the wall towards MY 360 nearly missing me and the system, then another roommate next to me goes up stairs and the ***** followed her with a steak knife in hand. Now I ask can anyone really top that fml?
but i do admit that things like this do make me laugh every now and then.

woh woh hang on... your aunt comes in and grabs a knife and throws it at you because the door was locked?! holy shit.

 

[Bored Tomatoe]

it was a long time ago but :

Today, i swear to my mom that i wasn't a lesbian and that i didn't have sex in her home with girls. Then my mom showed me the bra that my last date forgot under my bed, which was obviously not mine because it wasn't my size at all. fml

See, when she asked a question like "Are you gay and having sex with other girls in my house," you should've suspected something was up.

Also, I love that site, but it's so depressing sometimes...

But thats a pick-me-up, all of these peoples lives suck, and you, by comparison, are on top of the world.

Yeah, but it makes me terrified of dating.
Seriously, like half of the entries are someone being cheated on/caught fuckin'.

Either way, I'd have to kill someone, and covering up ragemurders are a lot of fucking work.

Its been easy for me since I met this "member of the family" that deals with "waste removal".

 

[mike1921]

Last weekend I went to a party and I got a girl to walk back to my place to "chill". On the way back we spot a trampoline in someones backyard. Being out of our minds, we decide to go jump. She broke her wrist. FML

...wow..........

I want to play Mass Effect but I can't find the disk. So fml.

I really can't remember any major fml moments.

Which reminds me, Rise of nations expansion, I have the disk and not the manual with the code thingy FML

 

[Mrsoupcup]

This morning I needed to awnser my cell phone so I ran downstairs to get it, but I fell and sprained my ankle later to realise my phone was upstairs. FML

 

[BasicMojo]

This morning when I was registering for classes and everything I need is filled up since they only offer one fucking section with 20 damn seats. This pretty much guarantees that I'm going to be in school for an extra year.

Good God, that happened to me just the other day. I've been trying to fulfill my language requirement for two years now.

 

[Lusperus]

I got attacked because I accidentaly called a girl a bith (she would
'nt stop calling, IM-ing, texting me) and all her friends instantly hate me.
Her brother called me then telling me how he wanted to fight and thats all I could make out of his slurred speech(drunk probably). So yah FML

 

[crepesack]

just happened
had to turn in research assignment at 11:59 and my alarm broke so i woke up around 9 minutes before it was due and some ass shut down my computer. And when i was about to turn it in, Microsoft Word crashed and f'd my A. I turned it in around 30 minutes late.

 

[The Brian J]

Not today, but a few weeks ago. I had been talking to this girl in my physics class, who had been going out of her way to sit next to me and make conversation. I thought things were going really well, so I was about to ask her out. It was then that she revealed that she believes Global Warming is a myth, and that the change in climate is actually signs of the coming rapture, when Jesus will return to earth. And just to rub sand into the wound, she then revealed that she was engaged. FML.

 

[Erana]

My games... They're gone...
The vast majority of my gaming library has been stolen.

 

[The Brian J]

Its been easy for me since I met this "member of the family" that deals with "waste removal".

Ahh...Yes...I once had a "close friend" who would help "clean things up."

Which reminds me, Rise of nations expansion, I have the disk and not the manual with the code thingy FML

You can probably find it online.

EDIT:

Not today, but a few weeks ago. I had been talking to this girl in my physics class, who had been going out of her way to sit next to me and make conversation. I thought things were going really well, so I was about to ask her out. It was then that she revealed that she believes Global Warming is a myth, and that the change in climate is actually signs of the coming rapture, when Jesus will return to earth. And just to rub sand into the wound, she then revealed that she was engaged. FML.

A...ahahahaha...oh...dude.
I am so sorry for you.
You don't even know. Oh boy.

Just smile and nod, the crazy ones are always a bit dangerous.

Eh, she's actually really nice and we're actually friends now. She keeps her religion to herself for the most part, which I can respect. It just caught me off guard the first time.

I go to school at the University of Iowa, so I'm usually confronted by people holding up giant signs about Jesus and yelling at me, so seeing someone who is extremely religious, but not open about it (it only came up because we were talking about global warming) is actually really refreshing.

But still, when she first said to me "Tch...you don't actually believe in Global Warming, do you?", a giant buzzer went off inside my head that said "Warning! Warning! Abort mission!"

 

[sheic99]

and i had hope

See, that was your mistake. It's always best to overestimate what someone knows (unless they are disarming bombs) than to underestimate what someone knows (especially if they may have blackmail material.)

/afterschool special
Anyway, getting caught having gotten it on is probably embarrassing as hell.
I pity you. I pity you much more if your mother is one of those people who blame everything on gay people, but getting caught is enough to earn pity.

I love these threads! They make me feel better about myself and my life.

http://www.fmylife.com/
I just made your day better.

Damn you Max. Now I'll waste the night reading about other people's fucked up lives.

 

[LooK iTz Jinjo]

When I gave up with the girl I'm desperately in love with. She's one of my best friends, and I KNOW that she used to have feelings for me, but for various reasons didn't want a relationship. She blatantly told me she was interested in someone else, whether something becomes of it is another matter, but point is, that as much as it pains me I basically gave up any hope with her... FML

 

[sheic99]

Damn you Max. Now I'll waste the night reading about other people's fucked up lives.

I have given you the greatest gift of all!
...Something to kill time with.

Also, it should only take like an hour to get through.

EDIT:

Eh, she's actually really nice and we're actually friends now. She keeps her religion to herself for the most part, which I can respect. It just caught me off guard the first time.

I go to school at the University of Iowa, so I'm usually confronted by people holding up giant signs about Jesus and yelling at me, so seeing someone who is extremely religious, but not open about it (it only came up because we were talking about global warming) is actually really refreshing.

But still, when she first said to me "Tch...you don't actually believe in Global Warming, do you?", a giant buzzer went off inside my head that said "Warning! Warning! Abort mission!"

I understand better than I'd like to, I assure you. I live in an area of Florida that puts the stereotypes about Kentucky and Alabama to shame.
I know the value of finding someone who doesn't push their religion on you constantly. Sadly, I only found people like that online.

But yeah, sometimes I wish I lived somewhere were people were...
You know.
Not fundamentalist.

Luckily, I was on for about an hour reading that and Failblog. I've got through a lot of those already.