Failoc-alypse: A Hot New Game From Blizzard!

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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Failoc-alypse: A Hot New Game From Blizzard!


Forget Blizzard [http://www.starcraft2.com/] is already here and it's a Failoc-alypse!

The Failocs are coming and only you can stop them! Select one of three unique heroes to make a desperate last stand against the onrushing horde. With a full four directions of movement plus the ability to jump and utilize special attacks, you have an awesome arsenal at your disposal, but beware! As your character levels up, the Failocs will spawn quicker and move faster, presenting a never-ending challenging for even the most savvy and battle-hardened gamer!

And I do mean "never-ending," because as far as I can tell, the game never ends. No matter how many you kill, more will come; no matter how many you let pass, more will want to go wherever it is they're going. There is no respite! There is no end! There is only Failoc-alypse!

The game appears simple at first blush but players are encouraged to read the instructions, which are packed with useful tidbits of information. "Learn the enemy's pattern to defeat him," the guide recommends, noting further that "there is no pattern." Gamers are also advised to learn an instrument.

Intrigued? You should be! Check out the hottest new thing from Blizzard since the last one right here [http://us.media.blizzard.com/blizzard/falth/failocalypse.html] - And keep your eyes peeled for the secret cow level!


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Chipperz

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Apr 27, 2009
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Hahaha, that was great.

cobrausn said:
Are the failocs supposed to represent something?

Got to a 1025 combo.
They're Murlocs from World of Warcraft. Specifically the ones from a series of missions that end with you dressed up like a Murloc running through a cave with a white flag.

Oh my god I'm such a nerd...
 

IrrelevantTangent

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Oct 4, 2008
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Is this news genuine? I don't know, this just seems a little too gonzo. Not that I doubt the mods' ability to gather and report information at all... [sub]please don't hurt me I know you know where I live[/sub]
 

Sigenrecht

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Mar 17, 2008
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I demand the time I took to read the article, play the game, sigh, close the window, scroll down and type this complaint back.
 

Zacharine

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Apr 17, 2009
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Well, it was a nice waste of 10 minutes. Got to level 35, combo of 1500 kills straight up and enough cash to drop 10 nukes straight. Then it got boring.
 

Skizle

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Feb 12, 2009
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well my z button is now broken. i do like how the crowd gets bigger and Olaf makes an appearance
 

neuromasser

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Jan 20, 2009
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After 530 kills I realized the game is free :)

I think that this is the only game I know that included unnecessary jump action(except for fun of course), can someone explain its function?

More fun than Contra xD
 

Ashbax

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Jan 7, 2009
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cobrausn said:
Are the failocs supposed to represent something?

Got to a 1025 combo.
Yes, murlocs from WOW.

Man, that game is awesome. Easiest character is the draenei, hardest is the witch doctor. I have no idea what the guy with the gun is supposed to be. Probably just a guy with a gun. Maybe hes from starcraft?
 

ZeroMachine

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Oct 11, 2008
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stompythebeast said:
this plus the L4D 2 news....just seems out of whack...
At least this is funny, to an extent.

And it comes with a free mini game to kill five minutes.

Ashbax said:
Man, that game is awesome. Easiest character is the draenei, hardest is the witch doctor. I have no idea what the guy with the gun is supposed to be. Probably just a guy with a gun. Maybe hes from starcraft?
He's Jim Raynor, from Starcraft.