Family Fight

[TitanAtlas]

So i have this problem, so please apologise my grammar errors or lack of good english for what it matters.

So i currently have 21 years, unemployed and looking for a job... aaaaaaand yes i live in my folks home (not for the lack of trying to find a job or another place to live, but lets face it to get a job these days, from where i live even, its a huge pain in the ass).

So when im not trying to get a job, i mostly stay home, hearing to songs on youtube, and mostly cleaning the house... and every single goddam day my folks come home and treat me like crap... its almost ridiculous... Im this, im that, im the cause of the worlds problem, im trash, im scum, ill never be anything in the world, and so on im basicly the worst person in the earth....

So while my adorable folks were reminding me that i was some kind of hitler reincarnation, by yelling it to my ear, i... well... raged.... i was sick of everything and started getting out of the house... and there they went, not letting me, telling everything is ok for me to calm down ( my size is 2 meters, approximatly 6,5 feet high... i think thats the american size equivalent).....

So now after i punched a door down, destroyed my headset, and broke a table they are with this fake attitude that now they love me, and everithing is going to be alright....

Well im a nice person, i troll in the internets i admit, but i could never harm a fly, so im acctually a little surprised with my rage...

The thing im asking you escapists is how can be free from this nightmare.... in times i considered the "cowards way" (you all know what i mean :S ), but im a man, and i do not belive in that way, and i would never end my life... i prefer to fight...

So again my question stands.... what do i do?

 

[RollForInitiative]

Honestly, getting a job and getting out is the best thing to do, for your personal health, sanity, and even for your familial relationship. Try harder, look farther afield, and consider moving. If you truly believe nothing is available and that you can't get anywhere right now, consider pursuing home-based business models to at least alleviate some of the stress and produce some capital with which you can move further afield.

Edit: Your parents' reactions might not be as fake as you think, by the way. Sometimes people just don't realize how hard and how harshly they're pushing people until something happens to illustrate it. In this case, you exploded. It's entirely possible that hammered the point home that they're not the only ones stressed out here.

 

[Gigaguy64]

Talk.
Seriously, you need to sit down with them and talk it out.
Tell them how you feel, how the way they are treating you makes you feel, and that you are trying.

If you don't at least try to work things out then they will never change.
And if it doesn't work then maybe you should ask a close friend of family member if you could stay with them for a while.

And we all get angry, and from what you posted you held it in for a while huh?
If so then its too be expected, holding in your anger doesn't make it go away, and it will eventually come to the surface.

And as the above said, your parents more than likely really do love you.
But sometimes its not easy to see how our actions and words are hurting those around us.

 

[dmase]

Threatening to leave probably was enough but i get what you mean when "the rage" hits you and you can't leave and the only way to let out your frustration is a wall... well sorry wall.

If your parents don't have a "talk" with you then you should probably go to them. Actually you should probably initiate to make them respect you more. Keep yourself calm but direct, you know something like i'd rather live in my car than with you yada yada. I want to fix this so tell me what I need to do to earn your respect. They'll probably say job well pull out a copy of your resume and list off the places you've applied etc. If they say well thats not enough, you say then what is enough? Get their input maybe they want you to do more around the house or suggest going to school.

Did you already go to college? If not then i'd suggest saying yeah could i go to the local college or take online courses? If not for an associates or higher degree for a certification that won't take that long.

 

[unicron44]

I'd definately sit down with your parents and work out the issues. If you can try to find a friend you can stay with for a few days to clear your head and let them think about how they treat you.

 

[Zaik]

Worst case scenario, you can always join the military.

 

[zombiesinc]

Parents have a tendency to be fairly harsh towards their kids, but most times it's out of concern and love. They just don't realize how they're coming off, and making their kids feel.

So, talk to them, and tell them exactly how their comments make you feel. If finding a job is so difficult, it's in your best interest to try and improve things between you and your parents, but that doesn't mean you should ignore what they say, or continue to allow it to happen, 'cause that's not fair or right. If you talk to them, you may find out that they don't realize how harsh they're coming off. Hopefully that talk will put you in a more comfortable position, because dealing with that isn't healthy or fair. If the talk doesn't go well, or you find out that they really don't care about how they're making you feel, although it will hurt, it'll also help motivate you to continue looking for jobs, and eventually to get out of there.

Continue trying to find a job. Apply everywhere, be open to anything, and be persistent. Hopefully you'll get lucky and you'll find a job that will allow you to save up money towards moving out.

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

Spending less time at home will make you feel better to start off with. I have the exact problem with my parents before that I would stay at a mates house for a week or so, still looking for jobs etc.

 

[TitanAtlas]

I would get a job, and try to ignore the negativity of your family as best as you can. A job would likely solve all these problems, because you would be:

1. Going out and working.
2. Advancing in your life, making money.
3. Out of their hair, so they can't be on your case if you aren't home not amounting to anything, in their words.

Logically, you can advance in several ways by having a job. Socially, mentally and it's just a wonderful feeling to work for things you want and get out there. It has it's disadvantages, but I honestly feel that sense of accomplishment ids very important for people to validate their lives and how they see their actions impacting their lives as well as as the peoples lives they interact with then and in the future. <3

As for getting the job, can I ask where you live first? Do you have local listings in the newspaper, or on line?

Well i live in Portugal europe, and i have applied for : Clothes Stores, Sports Store, Computer Stores, Supermarkets, MiniMarkets, Briccolage Stores, Game Stores, Marketing companies, and... well caffes, restaurants and.. i can remember more.... so yeah im screwed....

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Worst case scenario, you can always join the military.

This man is right, it would solve the job problem, temporarily the moving out problem, and may help with regaining respect.

Well, talk to them, having them verbally attack you everyday is never a good treatment.

 

[GenericAmerican]

Get out of there.

Off topic, but the last time there was a fight at my house between family members, there was a thrown bowl of spaghetti, a gun, and three bullets involved.

My family is scary sometimes.

 

[Lucifron]

Well i live in Portugal...

There's your problem. Nothing bad about the Portuguese, but you live in an economic sinkhole. Join the military or move to another country (avoiding any European countries except perhaps France and Germany).

 

[GeorgW]

Well i live in Portugal...

There's your problem. Nothing bad about the Portuguese, but you live in an economic sinkhole. Join the military or move to another country (avoiding any European countries except perhaps France and Germany).

Actually, the Scandinavian countries have some of the most stable economies in the world. And Britain has a pretty good economy, it's just in a slump right now. Also, other continents aren't exactly better off...
But he's right, move.