Most of us have likely had jobs that we don't like...and by "don't like" I mean "would rather have your gums scraped than have to set foot in that building again". Well to make a long story short, I find myself in such a situation, and like with most people that have a crappy job, I've come to the realization that one of the reasons that the job sucks so much is because I need the job much more than it needs me. By that I don't mean that the workplace would be better off without me or that I have a useless job, but rather simply that I need a job so much that I stick with it rather than quiting and praying to all that's holy and/or considered holy that I can manage to find a new job.
I'm a writer, and my highest aspiration is to write a series of fantasy novels and essentially become the new Tolkein. And basically for the foreseeable future, the only way I'm going to get out of this job is if I put out my first novel, strike it big, and can go on from there. I realize this is a pretty tall order, but if what's-her-face that wrote Harry Potter can go from being damn near homeless to being worlf famous with a simple series of books, then so can I.
Anyways, during lunch today I was fantasizing about finally getting the hell out of that job, having gotten my first book published and made enough money that I no longer needed to work there. I was wondering just how I'd quit my job, knowing that it no longer mannered. Oh and I'd burn every bridge I possibly could. As the only male working in an office with 5 women, I get to deal with a LOT of bitching (sorry ladies, I don't mean to offend, but that's just the way it is at my job). They all listen to their radios and browse the web from time to time, but they all wanna act like me reading an msn.com news story while on hold with a utility company makes me King Slacker, and so they always want to give me shit about it. Yet when I call THEM out on faffing about on the web, they say "Oh I just wanted to look up something real quick."
Anyways, long story short, I want to quit this job. Quit it hard, with extremme prejudice. I want to quit that job so hard that I get arrested for causing a disturbance. Tell all those women (with the exception of one, the only one that understands that when you're sitting on hold for 30 minutes, it's not such a big deal to read a news story since you'll otherwise just be staring at your computer screen) to just go straight to hell, fuck off, and pretty much every other nasty thing that sums up my frustration with that place. Tell'em to make their own fucking utility calls from now on. Go out Half Baked style with the classic "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out!" Even have the right number of coworkers to pull it off.
But alas, doing so right now would be financial suicide and so I'll just keep it festering down below until I can describe it to a psychiatrist in 30 years when he's trying to explain why I can't get an erection anymore.
Anywho, what about you, my fellow Escapists? Surely we've all (or at least most of us that are within the workforce) had some crap jobs that we wanted nothing more than to quit in a way that shows your boss and coworkers just how much you hated that job. What are some of the badass ways you'd like to have quit but, for mostly obvious reasons, never executed? If not, just make something up! What do you think would be a "classic"/unique/awesome way to quit a job?
I'm a writer, and my highest aspiration is to write a series of fantasy novels and essentially become the new Tolkein. And basically for the foreseeable future, the only way I'm going to get out of this job is if I put out my first novel, strike it big, and can go on from there. I realize this is a pretty tall order, but if what's-her-face that wrote Harry Potter can go from being damn near homeless to being worlf famous with a simple series of books, then so can I.
Anyways, during lunch today I was fantasizing about finally getting the hell out of that job, having gotten my first book published and made enough money that I no longer needed to work there. I was wondering just how I'd quit my job, knowing that it no longer mannered. Oh and I'd burn every bridge I possibly could. As the only male working in an office with 5 women, I get to deal with a LOT of bitching (sorry ladies, I don't mean to offend, but that's just the way it is at my job). They all listen to their radios and browse the web from time to time, but they all wanna act like me reading an msn.com news story while on hold with a utility company makes me King Slacker, and so they always want to give me shit about it. Yet when I call THEM out on faffing about on the web, they say "Oh I just wanted to look up something real quick."
Anyways, long story short, I want to quit this job. Quit it hard, with extremme prejudice. I want to quit that job so hard that I get arrested for causing a disturbance. Tell all those women (with the exception of one, the only one that understands that when you're sitting on hold for 30 minutes, it's not such a big deal to read a news story since you'll otherwise just be staring at your computer screen) to just go straight to hell, fuck off, and pretty much every other nasty thing that sums up my frustration with that place. Tell'em to make their own fucking utility calls from now on. Go out Half Baked style with the classic "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out!" Even have the right number of coworkers to pull it off.
But alas, doing so right now would be financial suicide and so I'll just keep it festering down below until I can describe it to a psychiatrist in 30 years when he's trying to explain why I can't get an erection anymore.
Anywho, what about you, my fellow Escapists? Surely we've all (or at least most of us that are within the workforce) had some crap jobs that we wanted nothing more than to quit in a way that shows your boss and coworkers just how much you hated that job. What are some of the badass ways you'd like to have quit but, for mostly obvious reasons, never executed? If not, just make something up! What do you think would be a "classic"/unique/awesome way to quit a job?