Fantasy jokes.

[David Bray]

Hey guys.

I'm currently writing a series of comic fantasy novels and having a ball. But as always, I can still do with new jokes. More jokes. Obviously I make my own up regularly but i can always use more.
I've noticed how wonderful you guys are at jokes on here and have found some wonderful ones in these lists.
Can you think of any pre-gun era jokes to have some fun with?

Much obliged.

 

[Daveman]

I'd say there's nothing wrong with taking the piss out of the word Gay meaning happy.

because I'm a simpleton.

welcome to the internet.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

Someone could get hit by an arrow and worry about a splinter? Could you tell us some characters so that we could maybe write jokes for them? Also, can you maybe share this, it sounds cool.

 

[walls of cetepedes]

Make a person who pimps horses.

"Look at this *****, those is GOLDEN bridles!"

 

[hittite]

When in doubt, quote Monty Python.

 

[rathorn14]

way back in the day one of my DND buddies came up with "necromancers get more skull" may be hilarious or just morbid depending on your sense of humor.

 

[David Bray]

Someone could get hit by an arrow and worry about a splinter? Could you tell us some characters so that we could maybe write jokes for them? Also, can you maybe share this, it sounds cool.

Share this? Obviously I can't share the characters till everything is cemented but I'm on book six currently and it's about the undead.

 

[jasoncyrus]

When in doubt, quote Monty Python.

And get sued for plagerism...however its spelt...

Someone could get hit by an arrow and worry about a splinter? Could you tell us some characters so that we could maybe write jokes for them? Also, can you maybe share this, it sounds cool.

Share this? Obviously I can't share the characters till everything is cemented but I'm on book six currently and it's about the undead.

Undead....original...yes...

 

[Quaxar]

When in doubt, quote Monty Python.

"This elf is dead!" - "No, he isn't. He's just sleeping... with open eyes and an arrow through his chest..."

Or what about a stuttering mage, who always ruins his spells and makes strange things appear? Like a laptop, but no one knows what it is or how to use it so they make a small shield of it. Or wear Duke Nukem Forever discs as jewelry because they are shiny

 

[Indecizion]

way back in the day one of my DND buddies came up with "necromancers get more skull" may be hilarious or just morbid depending on your sense of humor.

rofl, thats pretty epic actualy

 

[jasoncyrus]

When in doubt, quote Monty Python.

"This elf is dead!" - "No, he isn't. He's just sleeping... with open eyes and an arrow through his chest..."

Or what about a stuttering mage, who always ruins his spells and makes strange things appear? Like a laptop, but no one knows what it is or how to use it so they make a small shield of it. Or wear Duke Nukem Forever discs as jewelry because they are shiny

How can you make discs out of something that can never exist? If it ever does come to pass it'll cause a catastrophic temporal-spatial implosion in the fabric of reality (which is apparently made of velvet in some places) and tus end the multiverse as we know it.

Whch is why it must never come to be...

 

[Guy32]

The British are Coming into..... The British are cuming! eh? eh?

HA HA! you said "are".

I lol'd.

 

[David Bray]

way back in the day one of my DND buddies came up with "necromancers get more skull" may be hilarious or just morbid depending on your sense of humor.

rofl, thats pretty epic actualy

Yep. Sure is.

 

[hittite]

When in doubt, quote Monty Python.

And get sued for plagerism...however its spelt...

Fair use laws. He can basically do anything as long as it's funny.

 

[Vek]

Wizard shot the food.

 

[jasoncyrus]

When in doubt, quote Monty Python.

And get sued for plagerism...however its spelt...

Fair use laws. He can basically do anything as long as it's funny.

not really, especially if the author/owner of rights is alive

 

[hittite]

A la snip

Fair use laws. He can basically do anything as long as it's funny.

not really, especially if the author/owner of rights is alive[/quote]

Trust me, he won't be the first or the last fantasy web comic to directly quote Monty Python. Besides, I think they can take a joke.

 

[David Bray]

A la snip

Fair use laws. He can basically do anything as long as it's funny.

not really, especially if the author/owner of rights is alive

Trust me, he won't be the first or the last fantasy web comic to directly quote Monty Python. Besides, I think they can take a joke.[/quote]

Web comic? Yeah, according to the concept of riffing and reference, as long as i don't pretend it's all mine they have little issue with it.

 

[ShadowFighter15]

Found these on a DnD forum ages ago. There were a lot more, but these were the only ones I saved:

"You smell like something died. From the looks of things, I'd guess it was your brain."

"My god, my ears! How long did you train to make your voice a lethal weapon?"

By what small chance were you not strangled at birth?
Were you born with that face, or did your take to scratching it?

Gods, you're more useless than a slug! Now go sit over in the corner and let the real men fight, Sluggo.

Okay, so when is your boss going to make an appearance? I've got a three o'clock appointment at the red-light district. Could you tell him to hurry things up?

Okay, miss... time to let a REAL MAN help you... wait, you're a GUY? What the hell kind of guy wears a DRESS? I'm not buying that 'it's just a robe' cop out, that thing has frills.

"So I said to Ao, I said, 'I bet you can't create a creature less terrifying then a baby duckbunny. No way, no how.' (look at opponent.) Right. Looks like I owe a certain over-deity 5 copper."

 

[jasoncyrus]

hes not doing a web comic mate. He's writing a NOVEL. aka with intent to make money I assume.