Favorite Comeback
- Thread starter KittywifaMohawk
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From Madd TV:
"I'll rip out your eye sockets and put em in your pockets"
Scrubs:
"congratulations I didn't think it was possible but YOU did it! Do we have any trophies or ribbons? Oh sorry we are all out but how about I give you a life time supply of MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS!"
From Scrubs but I improvised some of it since I couldn't remember exactly how it went
"Someone says - Nothing at this company ever works everything sucks!?"
"reply - Well that explains why your still here."
One's I use often:
"You would say that"
"Don't be that guy"
"I'll rip out your eye sockets and put em in your pockets"
Scrubs:
"congratulations I didn't think it was possible but YOU did it! Do we have any trophies or ribbons? Oh sorry we are all out but how about I give you a life time supply of MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS!"
From Scrubs but I improvised some of it since I couldn't remember exactly how it went
"Someone says - Nothing at this company ever works everything sucks!?"
"reply - Well that explains why your still here."
One's I use often:
"You would say that"
"Don't be that guy"
Insulter: *insult*
Me: *reading intellectual-sounding book* ...
Insulter: *another insult*
Me: ...
Insulter: *more desperate insult*
Me: ...
Insulter: *even more desperate attention ploy*
Me: ...
((Etc., until insulter either leaves or is practically screaming/physically touching me))
Insulter: *frantic and violent outburst*
Me: *marking page in book, adjusting glasses, and calmly looking up* Oh, I'm sorry. Did you need something?
---
What if they take my book? I reach into my bag, pull out another, and continue as if nothing ever happened.
EDIT: I forgot that I also have the ability to give people THE LOOK. You know, the one perfect expression that makes people stop mid-sentence and slowly back away.
Me: *reading intellectual-sounding book* ...
Insulter: *another insult*
Me: ...
Insulter: *more desperate insult*
Me: ...
Insulter: *even more desperate attention ploy*
Me: ...
((Etc., until insulter either leaves or is practically screaming/physically touching me))
Insulter: *frantic and violent outburst*
Me: *marking page in book, adjusting glasses, and calmly looking up* Oh, I'm sorry. Did you need something?
---
What if they take my book? I reach into my bag, pull out another, and continue as if nothing ever happened.
EDIT: I forgot that I also have the ability to give people THE LOOK. You know, the one perfect expression that makes people stop mid-sentence and slowly back away.
The best comeback I've heard was with my friend and a fat guy at a firdepartment event one day.
fat guy: "Wow you got a big nose."
my friend: "And you got big titties."
fat guy: "How bout you go swim back to your country(my friend is dominican)."
my friend: "Why swim when I could use you as a raft?"
fat guy: "Wow you got a big nose."
my friend: "And you got big titties."
fat guy: "How bout you go swim back to your country(my friend is dominican)."
my friend: "Why swim when I could use you as a raft?"
Eh, I'm a simple man. A knee to the face followed by two middle-fingers is enough to get my point across. If they're being a big enough prick, then reverse the order. Just to let them know who's really in charge.
My fav is two awful ones:
You should have been a blowjob, and the ever classic:
Best part of you dribbled down your mom's arse.
You should have been a blowjob, and the ever classic:
Best part of you dribbled down your mom's arse.
My comeback to a comeback is: I can hurt you.
It always works.
Though "Fuck You, that's why" is absolutely beautiful.
It always works.
Though "Fuck You, that's why" is absolutely beautiful.
Even better: "You are, without a doubt, the worst possible result of an orgasm." (a mormon told me this)Canadianwookie said:
Best comeback for mom jokes comes from the movie Good Will Hunting: "Hey, how about you get off of moms alright? I got off of yours."
I do that as well. Its so effective it can stop nearly everyone in their tracks.fish food carl said:
Anyway in my school theres this wierd thing where people reply to "your mum" with "your grandmum" and so on and so on. I have actually seen an argument descend to(and I'm not joking here)"YOUR GENERATION!"