Favorite Comeback

[jimmy509]

Friend - "Dude, you're such a pussy."

Me - "You are what you eat."

 

[Avatar Roku]

I like my comeback to "your mum". You look teary eyed, stare at the floor and say in a shaky but blank voice, ".. My mum's dead." And just stare at the floor piling on the melancholy.

I once did that to a guy, he was almost shitting himself with apologies.

That's evil my friend. You are a horrible human being...well done!

Not so much a comeback, but something from Red Vs blue that was my first thought:
Tucker-I'm not preparing to do anything. 'cept get l-a-i-d.*long pause* laid.
Grif-Yeah, we can spell. We just think that was fucking weak.

On Facebook, a friend of mine's relationship status changed from "single" to "in a relationship." One of his other friends asked who "the lucky girl is". I responded "his hand."

 

[DeadpanLunatic]

I have removed my words from this site.

 

[Mindex]

LOlzer, i t0tly pwned you

message recieved from: Yousuckazz@rolfcopters.lolskaters.noob.l33t.pwned.lmaof.rofl.HAAHAHAHAHA

 

[haveyouseen_mywallet]

if someone says something of a smartass they always shut up when you say, "it's not my fault you have two dads," it usually embarasses them enough to shut up.

 

[Plastic14407]

I always liked the one from Aliens, between Hudson (male) and Vasquez (female):

Hudson: Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?

Vasquez: No. Have you?

Yea i like that comeback another one of my favorite comebacks is i got this while reading my Calvin and Hobbes collection. Its kinda different from insult come back but here it is. Calvin:I've decided when i grow up im going to be a millionare. Dad:You'll have to work pretty hard to get that much money. Calvin:No I won't you will. Dad:Me? Calvin:I just want to inherit it!

 

[Hitman 43]

Me: "You know what I don't get?"
Friend: "Laid?"

Oh SNAP.

Funny.

 

[Scobie]

DELETED

 

[Nickolai77]

Another Churchill one-

Woman- "I will never vote for you even if you where the Angel of the Lord!"
Churchill- "Madam, if i were the Angel of the Lord, i would not be in your constituency."

He really does not get on with women...