I came across Brian Baker and Greg Hetson's "The Ten Commandments of Punk Guitar", and started laughing hysterically. I've always found comedic lists pretty funny, and this one made me laugh particularly much. It is probably my favorite I've seen so far.
So, I was just wondering what you guys' favorite comedic lists were.
edit-
If a particular list by George Carlin doesn't come up in the first 5 posts, I will be very surprised.
So, I was just wondering what you guys' favorite comedic lists were.
1) Treat your guitar like shit and it will respect you.
2) To get that mean fuckin' low end and still retain some highs in your sound, use only Gibson guitars. SG's and Les Pauls are the ultimate punk rock tools.
3) Use only downstrokes. Downstrokes are the key to unlocking all punk rhythms.
4) Plaster your guitars with stickers to prove that you're an individual. Remember, being uncool is cool, so one Van Halen is worth three Sex Pistols stickers.
5) The Marshall JMP 100-Watt master volume head is the Holy Grail of amps. Other people get all hot and bothered about what kind of speakers and cabinets they use, but that's all bullshit. You can plug the JMP into virtually anything and it's going to sound wonderful.
6) No open tunings. Grunge is not punk rock.
7) Don't be self-indulgent. Limit your guitar solos to eight bars or less. Otherwise, you're playing metal.
8) Never, ever play a show with a cigarette hanging out of your mouth. It's incredibly painful when a stage diver pushes off your face and smashes the red-hot cherry into your cheek.
9) It may be punk to be fucked up at your day job, but when you take the stage you should be straight. It's hard to play music with intensity and speed when you're drunk.
10) Do not stack Marshall cabinets. That's not punk, it's arena rock. The Ramones are the only band exempted from this rule.
2) To get that mean fuckin' low end and still retain some highs in your sound, use only Gibson guitars. SG's and Les Pauls are the ultimate punk rock tools.
3) Use only downstrokes. Downstrokes are the key to unlocking all punk rhythms.
4) Plaster your guitars with stickers to prove that you're an individual. Remember, being uncool is cool, so one Van Halen is worth three Sex Pistols stickers.
5) The Marshall JMP 100-Watt master volume head is the Holy Grail of amps. Other people get all hot and bothered about what kind of speakers and cabinets they use, but that's all bullshit. You can plug the JMP into virtually anything and it's going to sound wonderful.
6) No open tunings. Grunge is not punk rock.
7) Don't be self-indulgent. Limit your guitar solos to eight bars or less. Otherwise, you're playing metal.
8) Never, ever play a show with a cigarette hanging out of your mouth. It's incredibly painful when a stage diver pushes off your face and smashes the red-hot cherry into your cheek.
9) It may be punk to be fucked up at your day job, but when you take the stage you should be straight. It's hard to play music with intensity and speed when you're drunk.
10) Do not stack Marshall cabinets. That's not punk, it's arena rock. The Ramones are the only band exempted from this rule.
edit-
If a particular list by George Carlin doesn't come up in the first 5 posts, I will be very surprised.