Favorite Conspiracy theory

[schrodinger]

Conspiracy theories always pop up whenever a big or even small event happens, like from the popular Moon landing is fake, who really was behind the assassination of JFK, or donor blood allows the government to track us, or the most recent one where my aunt asked my mother if the reason their flood insurance was hiked up to pay for Obamacare, because a friend of hers told her that.
...yep

Anyways, what is your favorite conspiracy theory? You don't necessarily have to believe in it, just like how crazy it sounds.
Mine's when bin laden was killed; the theory was we had originally caught him several years before and was held in cyro. He was only brought out and 'killed' to help with the president's approval rating. I'm not making that up either.
The silly thing is why didn't they 'kill' bin Laden when Bush was in office because his approval rating would of benefit it.


P.S. Remember guys, this is suppose to be a little fun thread. R&P is there for your serious conspiracy discussions if needed.

 

[DefunctTheory]

There's really only one answer. And only pictures can do it successfully.

Captcha: I saw that

 

[Feedmeketamine]

My favourite is david ike's, for several reasons, mainly because its so batshit insane but makes a lot of sense if you dont take it literally. For those unfamiliar, david ike believes the queen and world leaders such a george bush to be shapeshifting lizard aliens. I think it tells you a lot about politics and that, most politicians seem to be slimy, blowing in the wind of prevailing popular view and you could see them as lizard like in quite a few ways. Mostly self serving, like lizards, no disrespect to lizards but I doubt any lizard is thinking of the bigger picture, rather MUST SURVIVE, MUST CONSUME INSECTS, MUST COME OUT FIRST IN THE APPROVAL POLLS, MUST SURVIVE EVEN IF I HAVE TO FUCK OVER MY LIZARD BROTHERS.

 

[Faelix]

My favourite is david ike's, for several reasons, mainly because its so batshit insane but makes a lot of sense if you dont take it literally. For those unfamiliar, david ike believes the queen and world leaders such a george bush to be shapeshifting lizard aliens. I think it tells you a lot about politics and that, most politicians seem to be slimy, blowing in the wind of prevailing popular view and you could see them as lizard like in quite a few ways. Mostly self serving, like lizards, no disrespect to lizards but I doubt any lizard is thinking of the bigger picture, rather MUST SURVIVE, MUST CONSUME INSECTS, MUST COME OUT FIRST IN THE APPROVAL POLLS, MUST SURVIVE EVEN IF I HAVE TO FUCK OVER MY LIZARD BROTHERS.

Now I'm not going to jump on his wagon. But even though this theory seems to be the most crazy of them all, it does touch upon a big question.

Which is, if life has existed for so many millions of years, why did intelligence as we know it, only show up in homo sapiens after such a long time.

If you think about it, survival of the fittest, being smart is a huge asset. And the mutations to make a brain smarter, is much easier to imagine being perpetually introduced as opposed to for example evolution of wings.

So the question goes, why didn't intelligence show up as soon as it could. In dinosaurs for example. Smart lizards.

And so the conspiracy theory reaches back to the earliest forms of life, and imagine that they did actually become intelligent, somewhere in space/time whatever.

But it's a good question infact, why they didn't become intelligent. What in Darwins theory is preventing intelligence? It's only happened once, in man, and that's 150.000 years ago in a 65 million year long span. Which seems absurd.

 

[Feedmeketamine]

I couldnt answer that, but I think it has something to do with the fact that darwinism isnt completely about who can get the sharpest teeth and sharpest claws, rather its about adaptability and fitting in to an ecosystem, yeah its weird, life on earth has been about so long but as far as we can tell were the only animals capable of building and using electricity and all that, and that has come about so recently, its quite mind boggling really.

 

[Evonisia]

My favourite (and the one I hate the most) is the damn Illuminati music business conspiracy. We live on the internet but I'll brief it anyway. Basically the Illuminati secretly runs the world and owns all of the music business and forces music acts (usually in Pop music such as Ke$ha, Justin Bieber, Rihanna, Lady Gaga etc.) to put illuminati signs in their videos and performances because this in some way will convert America's youth against Christianity and into Satanism. I find it funny because the Illuminati were an Atheist group and more importantly disbanded over two hundred years ago.

 

[Tuesday Night Fever]

I love conspiracy theories just in general. Probably why the original Deus Ex is consistently at the very top of my favorite games lists.

Right now though the conspiracy theory I get the biggest kick out of is Chemtrails. The gist of the theory is that aircraft are being used to disperse chemical and/or biological agents from high altitudes over civilian population centers for unknown, but undoubtedly sinister, reasons. The theory shows a pretty obvious fundamental misunderstanding about how aircraft work, it completely disregards how ridiculously many people would have to be involved in such an undertaking (especially the conspiracy theorists who claim civilian passenger aircraft are being utilized for this), and it completely ignores the fact that this kind of dispersion - even if it actually was happening - is massively inefficient and likely ineffectual.

 

[FalloutJack]

I love every Chicken Little who says the sky is falling in some form or another, and then has to backpeddle hardcore when nothing happens. I laugh so hard. This includes the current political issue, BTW. I love the people who go all Hudson on us. "Game over, man! Game over!" What can they say when the world keeps turning?

 

[shootthebandit]

I kinda believe the whole illuminati stuff. The top 1% have such a huge influence it doesnt seem that far fetched. If we say that the top 1% of that 1% are an illuminati/patriots style organisation then its not that stupid. Especially when the rich bank owners and stock brokers have a massive influence on the worlds economy

 

[MysticSlayer]

I think the flat earth conspiracy gets me cracking up the most. The fact that The Flat Earth Society actually believes that nonsense is ridiculous enough, but their attempts to mask it in ridiculous pseudoscience, all given a layer of "intellectually enlightened language", just makes the whole group an easy target for jokes. Though I will say, I've always wanted to join their forums and just see what kind of chaos I can start...yeah, I think I value my sanity more than that.

Actually, I had a couple coworkers who had a lot of messed up ideas. They believed in everything, including aliens, lizard people, werewolves, vampires, fairies, zombies, malevolent spirits, etc. and they were constantly attempting to back it up with evidence. It got rather humorous at times, and just downright sad at others. I still think the best was when one saw the harvest moon (complete with reddish-orange hue) thought it was proof of aliens because "the moon isn't that color".

 

[Juste Goose]

This one girl in my high school. Just...

She believes that Obama is putting birth control in bottled water.
Why, you ask? To get the U.S. population down to 20,000 people.
Why? Because he (personally) discovered an ancient tablet in Egypt that says that that's the amount of people in the perfect empire.
But wouldn't it take longer than Obama's lifetime to work? Well, it would, but that's because he's doing it for his daughters. With the perfect army, nothing will be able to stop them from taking over the world.

She really, truly, honestly believes all this.

 

[Feedmeketamine]

This one girl in my high school. Just...

She believes that Obama is putting birth control in bottled water.
Why, you ask? To get the U.S. population down to 20,000 people.
Why? Because he (personally) discovered an ancient tablet in Egypt that says that that's the amount of people in the perfect empire.
But wouldn't it take longer than Obama's lifetime to work? Well, it would, but that's because he's doing it for his daughters. With the perfect army, nothing will be able to stop them from taking over the world.

She really, truly, honestly believes all this.

Thats pretty good, are you sure she doesnt have a really dry sense of humour though?

 

[Juste Goose]

Thats pretty good, are you sure she doesnt have a really dry sense of humour though?

If you knew her, you'd know how serious she is. Unless she's been playing this character for 16 years...

 

[sanquin]

My favourite ones would be the supposed moon landing hoax and the flat earth 'theory'. All proper evidence is against those theories, yet people still believe them by implementing their own pseudo-science and made up 'facts'. It's actually so stupid it's almost endearing to see those people try to hold on to their belief so strongly. Like an extremely stubborn child or something.

On second place would be the illuminati. Do I think the extremely rich exert far more power over the world than is shown/should be allowed? Yes. Do I believe that there is a secret, underground organization that has extreme wealth among it's members and that controls the world? No. That's just...well, stupid in my opinion.

 

[Feedmeketamine]

There's really only one answer. And only pictures can do it successfully.

Captcha: I saw that

Oh yeah i just got it, its a really slow tractor beam thats only effecting his hair right? is that it?

Aw i dont wanna be the guy that points out the jokes in a really shitty unfunny way, but really, is that the joke? Cos thats a pretty damn good one

 

[Extra-Ordinary]

James Paul McCartney is dead.

Yeah, it goes that Paul died in some car crash and they had him replaced with a look-alike. Remember when the Beatles stopped touring and decided to go into the studio so they could do their Sgt. Pepper and Magical Mystery Tour albums and so on? Apparently what they were *actually* making music while teaching this new Paul how to play bass left-handed. And it so goes that in the music and on the album covers, you can see and hear a bunch of clues that hint to Paul being dead. You know, play this song backwards and all of a sudden PAUL IS DEAD.
Seriously, look up "Paul McCartney is dead, Abbey Road", you're going to get hit with:

PAUL'S THE ONLY ONE NOT WEARING SHOES, HE MUST BE DEAD.
PAUL'S GOT A CIGARETTE IN HIS *RIGHT* HAND BUT PAUL'S LEFT-HANDED, SO THAT CAN'T BE HIM!

And those are the two points that make *the most* sense, it only goes downhill from there.

It tore me up a bit when I first heard about it, trying to figure out if it was true or not.
Then I finally took a step back and thought
"But, the Beatles got better as time went on. So they found somebody who was a better musician and all-around Beatle than Paul?"

Yeah, I don't think so.

 

[Phrozenflame500]

Mine's easily the flat earth society. Primarily because they're belief is so silly I can't even get angry at their blatant stupidity.

Others annoy me far too much to be considered my "favourite", such as every "vaccine" conspiracy or the moon landing hoax.

 

[not_you]

Moon landing....

Seriously... I still don't believe that it happened....

show me a photo of the moon with THE flag on it to prove me wrong, but, I just don't believe it happened....

 

[spartan231490]

Favorite as in craziest and most amusing? truthism.com, annunaki, monoatomic gold, ark of the covenant.

Favorite as in most believable? Probably the JFK assassination. As a frequent shooter, I do not believe that a single man with a bolt action rifle could have fired that many shots with that speed and accuracy at a moving target.

Also, honorary mention to the Flat Earth society. My physics teacher in high school showed us one of their vids during the pseudoscience section. Some of the funniest shit I've ever seen.

 

[Joffas16]

This thread reminds me of something I read once, it was quote from Alan Moore, the guy who wrote Watchmen and V for Vendetta among many other things. Here's the quote.

"? the main thing that I learned about conspiracy theories is that conspiracy theorists actually believe in the conspiracy because that is more comforting. The truth of the world is that it is chaotic. The truth is, that it is not the Jewish banking conspiracy, or the grey aliens, or the twelve-foot reptiloids from another dimension that are in control, the truth is far more frightening; no-one is in control, the world is rudderless."

I agree with this, I honestly think that I would prefer if my country where run by evil geniuses than a bunch of lucky SOB's who are about as smart as me.