Favorite Yahtzee Line on Zero Punctuation

[Jharry5]

'What the fuck happened to Clive Winston? In his place we have this giggly Jpop creature and you can't play classic rock with that... thing, it's like cockslapping the Mona Lisa'. From the Guitar Hero 3 review.

'That is what we call a Dick Move!' (Can't remember which review that's from).

The entirety of his Duke Nukem review. Pure brilliance, in my opinion.

Also, the last bits to his first Lara Croft review and the Halo Wars review both had me in hysterics the first time I watched them.

 

[RagnorakTres]

Hmm...tie between:

Here's one: A genetically-engineered Taiwanese chef teams up with a newt in a fez to rescue his large-bosomed girlfriend from mummies. There, you see? It's easy. A breast cancer specialist with large bosoms journeys through time to pay for a breast enlargement. A race of bosom people set out on an armada of bosoms to find a new bosom homeworld. Bosoms, melons, milk factories, busts, funbags, knockers, boobies, jugs, nipples, jubblies, STONKING... GREAT... TITS.

and

They had a good thing going with the Russians for a while before East Berlin paid the price for shoddy building contractors; and in all their other wars, it's been difficult to root for America when the villains of the story live in a ditch and are armed with jagged rocks. At some point in recent years, they looked up from their international heroism to realize they've alienated the entire world; and contemporary war stories now all seem to deftly avoid clearly associating the villains with a foreign power. It's quite entertaining to watch, really, like how they used to put bears on hot plates to make them dance.

and, well

 

[Mirroga]

Watch the whole review of Mercenaries 2.

Just a sample would be, "...Mercenaries 2. Or what I would like to call, Airstrikes 2: Hooray for Airstrikes."

 

[RUINER ACTUAL]

"Go Team Retard!"

YES! and any reference to the infamous Triple Cunted Hooker.

 

[Lucky Chainsaw]

At the moment it's:

?The weird thing about Chinatown Wars so far is that all its faults are balance by its other fault. Stupid enemies compensate for shitty controls, the easiness of trading makes up for its banality. All the foulness mixes together to make something halfway decent in the middle. It?s almost prodigious in it?s retarded genius.?

 

[Chaos Bringer]

The cymbals look like two inbred twins, the kind whose names you ahve to call three times before they know you're talking to them.

Bull Fucking Shit. All possible threats were dead...etc.

Boingo, boingo, whoopsy, knickers.

 

[The_Amaster]

"It just goes to show you, never stick your dick in a pudding. It may still be good pudding, and you spend all afternoon explaining that, but no ones going to eat it because you STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT!"

 

[Spaghetti]

"whinged myself inside out"

"lying prone only drops your eye level another inch or so. So your charachter is either extemely fat or uncomfertably well endowed. Probably the first one judging by how often you have to stop for a breather and a sausage roll while running cross country."

Both from ESS TEE AY ELL KAY EE AAR Clear Sky.

And lots of lines from "Mailbag Showdown"

 

[shotgunbob]

From Condemed 2 Bloodshot:

What made the last level of condemed 1 so great was that it was in a normal house just like yours down to every last detail like the serial killer living under your bed whos standing behind you right now but don't look because that would really piss him off

 

[Ham Blitz]

I will have to say the thing I remember the most is the "Garret GobbleCoque" thing.

 

[Aitruis]

Deja vu lies thickly on the ground like a big fat sleeping bear.

 

[ninja555]

Let me hold yor head under the putrescent waters of knowlage.

 

[Dr. Gorgenflex]

Pants on head retarded or Mumorpuger.

 

[Uilleand]

"It's just not as fun as tonguing another man's balls ...
...I mean, AS IT USED TO BE ...
...
...
...I'm not gay ..."

Guitar Hero III

 

[Crapster]

"[...]Because you're a bitter, anti-social dickhead who's alienated everyone who ever loved you, and you like to think you're aloof and funny but in reality you're dying inside and also YOU SMELL!"

From the Sims 3. It resonates with me deeply.

 

[Pimppeter2]

The "Mr. Shitface" thing on his E3 2009 review

Plus, the limmerics in the Wolfenstein review

 

[The Paradigm]

...it just goes to show that Batman is always the least interesting character in anything he's in. There's not much else you can do with a character who's first response to anything is either punching it or deploying Bat Anti-thing spray... THEN punching it.
-Batman: Arkham Asylum

 

[drisky]

"It just goes to show you, never stick your dick in a pudding. It may still be good pudding, and you spend all afternoon explaining that, but no ones going to eat it because you STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT!"

beat me to it.

 

[Shifter.Unit]

"quad erat demonstrandum said yathzee like the big literary fag that he is."

 

[C_Topher]

"As the exasperated Chinese zoo keeper said the the last male panda in the world: FUCK THAT!"
Also from Halo Wars:
"...look my enemies straight in the eyes from the scope of a high powered sniper rifle in the next town over."