Feeling hypocritical...

[SeriousSquirrel]

I am a terrible hypocrite:

So last school year my friend liked this girl. He texted with her a lot, though never really got the chance to do anything more (she was in relationships pretty frequently). So he gave up and moved on. Now, while he had liked her, I was always trying get him to make a move (This is hypocritical of me aswell, but not my main point). I felt bad for him that it didn't work out.

I had never met the girl, but he spoke highly of her, and said she was really cool. And he was right. I met her for the first time this year, and...well...now I like her. That's terrible enough as it is, but it get's worse in that. Acouple of years ago I liked another girl. We talked a lot and really got along. However I was a total wuss and never got the nerves to really make anything of it. Then, my best friend (at the time) started going out with her (about 3 weeks after I told him I liked her).

So yeah, I really hate myself for this. Becuase the guy is a great friend, and has really helped me out in tough times. Advice is completely welcome here...

EDIT: It's important to note that I no longer feel any jealousy or anger over my freind and his dating my ex-crush.

 

[Safaia]

If he's really a good friend he won't care either way.

 

[vxicepickxv]

Congratulate him for his happiness, and find somebody for yourself.

 

[Istanbul]

I don't think the issue is hypocrisy, so much as the fact that it's easy to give good advice (which you did), and it's an entirely different matter to take that advice for yourself - especially if no one is actively giving it to you - and make it work. Don't hate yourself, you're simply encountering that divide, and it exists for all of us.

 

[zombiesinc]

So yeah, I really hate myself for this. Becuase the guy is a great friend, and has really helped me out in tough times. Advice is completely welcome here...

Don't feel bad because you were encouraging your friend to do just the thing you failed to do yourself. It's always easier said that done. Your good intentions were there, encouraging him along, and there's nothing wrong with that.

From your own experience, perhaps in the future it will be easier for you to actually work up the courage to let a girl know how you feel. It's always important to let people know how you feel when you're sure of those feelings yourself, because as already said, you never know how else might like this person. Or even, who this person may like and go after while you're still telling yourself to work up the courage.

The thing is, you'll always fail if you never try; you'll never know if you never ask.

 

[SeriousSquirrel]

I appreciate the advice but I believe that you guys are misinterpriting the point of my post.

My problem is that I like the same girl that my friend did. After I had tried to help him make a move and ask her out too. I've been on the other end of the spectrum too, and I hated it when it happened to me. So I feel terrible and hypocritical about it.