Feeling lost

[Goodluf]

snip

...On the other hand, what's the point in fixing any of that anyway. I just feel so insignificant and so on...

At this point it's obvious you're less interested... or rather focused on getting past this, and more focused on how nothing's worth it. It's at this point I'd suggest talking to a professional. That's not to say you're clinically depressed, or have anything serious enough that needs to be addressed though. I'm saying that talking to someone will give you a better idea of where you are mentally, and what you can do to help get past this apathy. You've mentioned that you have a difficult time expressing yourself, and that you think a psychologist/psychiatrist may have better things to do. I can understand where you're coming from regarding the former, but you're absolutely incorrect on the latter. They're there to listen, period. There certainly are those out there that are coping with different things that will affect their life far more regularly and severely than some levels of depression, but that doesn't make any one person less important than another.

megasnip

Wow, you actually took time to go through almost all my posts here. I thought this thread was dead already...Anyway, thanks for going through all that, I just couldn't fit everything in one post so it's all over the place, heh. I really didn't think anybody else would bother giving any new advice, but hey, guess I was wrong.

Also, the part I left in, well...that was more like how I feel when I'm feeling really bad, like when I wrote that, in the middle of the night as I couldn't sleep. I just feel so...tired sometimes, of everything, if that makes any sense. That's not constantly on my mind, fortunately. Like now, it's a nice sunny day outside and I can actually hear birds singing in the nearby trees, makes me smile. School is almost over and my summer holidays can begin. Although it's also the time all the new friends I've made here scatter all around the country to spend their summers elsewhere, leaving me (who lives here around the year) here, I usually feel better during the summer. Maybe I'll see my older friends again, if they decide to pop in. It's the cold, dark winters we have here almost half the year, when this attitude gets worse.

relationship woes

Relationship advice

Huh, I actually haven't though about it that way, no matter how obvious that should be. Thanks, really. I can go with that.

Also, looking at how seemingly well my friends that I have known for years have done in their lives, many with girlfriends or going to good universitys far away from where I am and just looking so confident, I can't help but feel left behind and inferior, which I hate. You couldn't see it up front, but I am/have been a proud fellow. Not being able to hold myself up to the standards and hopes I and the society at large have imposed on me have really put me down. Also, I was a late bloomer so to speak, maturing quite late compared to others, so I feel I have almost completely missed the normal "teenage years". I have always been quite mild tempered and shy, so my entire life has been the same steady, flat line onwards. Already I can feel I may have missed on the so called "best years of ones life".

Silly standards and such

I get everything you say, I feel like saying to myself, that I know that. But, here I am, always trying to convince myself on how things really are and not how I think they are. It's like I'm aware at some level how silly all these thoughs I have about the value of things and what people think about me, are and so on. I have just always felt like the weird little kid hanging around the cool and smart crowd, and now that I'm "an adult" I should have the means to be awesome or something, but I still can't. I'm just...average. I should really try to accept that and let the past go, start living as who I am and not trying to be like the image I have in my head about the perfect person I should be, or something. Things will come my way, or then they don't, there is only so much I can do about that.


So anyway, no worries for a while. Thanks for your time, you had good things to say.


PS: all this longass writing really helps me practice my writing. English isn't my main language and I really don't need it in my everyday life, so coming down to the forum to write about stuff is nice. I like discussing in english, and I like to think I'm good at that, atleast

Also, I'm starting to lose count on what I have already told and to who, I don't want to start repeating myself here, heh. So many good people here giving me good stuff to think about, I'm overwhelmed, in a good way though.

 

[Goodluf]

...Btw, this attitude is kinda the source of my all-around apathy, I can't find a reason to do anything about this. So I just mope around every day, dragging myself through day after day of ultimately meaningless lectures and lessons, watching anime and playing video games in an ultimately useless effort to distract myself from all the suck and---aagh, I could go on.

Final-year blues? They're common enough and I've had them from time to time. I'd check out the 'Study Hacks' blog post on deep procrastination [//calnewport.com/blog/2009/02/16/the-danger-of-deep-procratination/]; might help you get a better bearing on things.


"Every journey begins with a single step" (Confucius)

(Studying advice here)

Edit: Oh, and GET SOME SLEEP! It must be about 6/7am in Finland!

You know, haven't really thought about that I actually might have a serious burn-out, coupled with all this other stuff. I've been a really baad at getting things done in time, usually i start franticly reading just the final day before exams or making some essees. I, am a master of procratination. I think it wasn't this bad in high school when I actually gave a shit about getting good grades and such, but nowadays...not so much. Sometimes I think I may have pushed myself a bit too much back then. My studying methods are almost nonexistant these days and I think it's about time I got my shit together, so to speak.

Also, come on, it was only 2 am, when I put that first post in. I've been answering to all these posts in perfectly reasonable times during daytime!

 

[zombiesinc]

Wow, you actually took time to go through almost all my posts here. I thought this thread was dead already...Anyway, thanks for going through all that, I just couldn't fit everything in one post so it's all over the place, heh. I really didn't think anybody else would bother giving any new advice, but hey, guess I was wrong.

Of course I went through all of them. Unfortunately I don't generally manage to respond to threads the day they're created, but I bookmark the ones I feel I can contribute the most advice for whenever I've got the time to put in a proper response.

Also, the part I left in, well...that was more like how I feel when I'm feeling really bad, like when I wrote that, in the middle of the night as I couldn't sleep. I just feel so...tired sometimes, of everything, if that makes any sense. That's not constantly on my mind, fortunately. Like now, it's a nice sunny day outside and I can actually hear birds singing in the nearby trees, makes me smile. School is almost over and my summer holidays can begin. Although it's also the time all the new friends I've made here scatter all around the country to spend their summers elsewhere, leaving me (who lives here around the year) here, I usually feel better during the summer. Maybe I'll see my older friends again, if they decide to pop in. It's the cold, dark winters we have here almost half the year, when this attitude gets worse.

If you find that you're struggling to fall asleep more often than not you should get some melatonin. It's something our body is meant to naturally produce with serotonin, both helping us fall asleep. They're generally tablets that dissolve under your tongue, and easy to buy from a grocery/pharmacy store. They should make it at least a little easier for you to fall asleep, and you won't feel drowsy or out of it like you would had you resorted to some sort of sleeping tablet.

You'll just have to make an effort to be active during the winter. With there being less sun during the days of winter, it's no surprise that you're finding yourself less happy and motivated. Consider taking some vitamin D tablets, so at the very least your body is getting the same amount during the winter as you would in the summer. Beyond that, try to make plans and do things on a more regular basis during the winter. It may be a lot colder than you'd like, but it's still possible to get out, get some fresh air and have some fun. Reading, spending time with friends (whether it's indoors or outside) and making sure you're awake during the day are all ways that can help keep your attitude positive during the winter.

I have just always felt like the weird little kid hanging around the cool and smart crowd, and now that I'm "an adult" I should have the means to be awesome or something, but I still can't. I'm just...average. I should really try to accept that and let the past go, start living as who I am and not trying to be like the image I have in my head about the perfect person I should be, or something. Things will come my way, or then they don't, there is only so much I can do about that.

The thing is, the more you tell yourself that you're "just average" the less likely it is that you'll push yourself forwards, towards improvement. From your perspective being "average" is a negative, so by repeating this to yourself, you're only bringing yourself down. By constantly comparing yourself to others, unrealistically and unfairly, you're only discouraging yourself. There's nothing wrong with creating goals for yourself, and comparing yourself to others from time to time, but holding yourself up beside another person isn't fair. As I've said, it's not doing you any good, at least to the extent in which you're currently doing it. Comparisons can be good, they can motivate you to push harder, to keep going and to keep improving, but only within moderation. If you allow yourself to constantly do that you'll just end up discouraging yourself. And although there is some truth to "things will come my way, or then they don't", it's not something you should hold so tightly. Yes, there will always be things in our lives that are out of our control, but that doesn't mean we can't try to work towards what we want, or towards improvement. Again, it's fine in moderation, but I'm afraid, at this point, you're entirely focusing on it. It's not doing you any good, you've just got to realize that and eventually you'll find it easier to avoid dwelling to the point of negativity, and to instead focus to encourage and motivate.  

PS: all this longass writing really helps me practice my writing. English isn't my main language and I really don't need it in my everyday life, so coming down to the forum to write about stuff is nice. I like discussing in english, and I like to think I'm good at that, atleast

That's good! Not quite as important as expressing your feelings and letting some weight off your shoulders, but important nonetheless.

Also, I'm starting to lose count on what I have already told and to who, I don't want to start repeating myself here, heh. So many good people here giving me good stuff to think about, I'm overwhelmed, in a good way though.

I'm glad. Best of luck with everything. Also, feel free to continue discussing whatever you want in the future, whether it be in this thread, a new one or via PM.

 

[Goodluf]

Right now, let's get this done:

stuff

sleeping troubles, summer and winter and so on

If you find that you're struggling to fall asleep more often than not you should get some melatonin. It's something our body is meant to naturally produce with serotonin, both helping us fall asleep. They're generally tablets that dissolve under your tongue, and easy to buy from a grocery/pharmacy store. They should make it at least a little easier for you to fall asleep, and you won't feel drowsy or out of it like you would had you resorted to some sort of sleeping tablet.

You'll just have to make an effort to be active during the winter. With there being less sun during the days of winter, it's no surprise that you're finding yourself less happy and motivated. Consider taking some vitamin D tablets, so at the very least your body is getting the same amount during the winter as you would in the summer. Beyond that, try to make plans and do things on a more regular basis during the winter. It may be a lot colder than you'd like, but it's still possible to get out, get some fresh air and have some fun. Reading, spending time with friends (whether it's indoors or outside) and making sure you're awake during the day are all ways that can help keep your attitude positive during the winter.

Heh, as I'm no longer a kid I don't really go out and play in the snow as much as I used to. Also, I don't really fancy just walking around in the winter, that's just boring to me. I spend most of my time inside I think. Guess I should start reading some good books again, I hope our local library has stocked something new, as I have pretty much gone through most of the sci-fi and fantasy shelves. I blame lazy translators.

But, anyway, I've always had some trouble falling to sleep and feel more gloomy during the winter, I suppose it could be just low vitamin levels. I don't know. I could try pills on that, maybe. We'll see.

Being average

The thing is, the more you tell yourself that you're "just average" the less likely it is that you'll push yourself forwards, towards improvement. From your perspective being "average" is a negative, so by repeating this to yourself, you're only bringing yourself down. By constantly comparing yourself to others, unrealistically and unfairly, you're only discouraging yourself. There's nothing wrong with creating goals for yourself, and comparing yourself to others from time to time, but holding yourself up beside another person isn't fair. As I've said, it's not doing you any good, at least to the extent in which you're currently doing it. Comparisons can be good, they can motivate you to push harder, to keep going and to keep improving, but only within moderation. If you allow yourself to constantly do that you'll just end up discouraging yourself. And although there is some truth to "things will come my way, or then they don't", it's not something you should hold so tightly. Yes, there will always be things in our lives that are out of our control, but that doesn't mean we can't try to work towards what we want, or towards improvement. Again, it's fine in moderation, but I'm afraid, at this point, you're entirely focusing on it. It's not doing you any good, you've just got to realize that and eventually you'll find it easier to avoid dwelling to the point of negativity, and to instead focus to encourage and motivate.  

/end

I have always felt that I can do better compared to how I'm doing now, which isn't much to say as I don't really "give a shit" about stuff and my motivation is pretty low. If I can just find some reason to say, graduate with actually good grades, I think I could be pretty good at this. And as some of my friends have pointed, I should just "chill out" once in a while and things might feel better and I might actually do better.

Ok now, I think all this stuff I wrote has been chewed on enough. I cant think of anything more to add about my feelings and stuff, so I think it's time to move on. This was a nice thread, I sure didn't expect this many nice replys.

Thanks to everybody who contributed, it really helped me sort some of this stuff out. I'm quite positive I can eventually set my things straight and become a happier person. Eventually. Time will tell.

Goodluf signing out!

PS: Of course, if people still want to share some of their own experiences (which was one part of my OP and was mostly ignored, heh), feel free to, I'll watch this thread. I just don't feel I have anything else to say here, it's all there for everybody to read.