Fetish being your sexuality?

[SextusMaximus]

How does that insult the entire gay community? Not only is doing something outside the 'norm' not a bad thing (considering most people do things that aren't considered 'normal' on a daily basis), but vanilla sex could be interpreted as both vaginal and anal.

Because gay people find being called abnormal offensive? I'm not the only gay person who has said so in this thread.

Abnormal =/= bad

Being gay is normal.

Thanks, I got this far

And again, I never said that being abnormal is bad. I'm just saying that being gay isn't abnormal. Again, see the quoted post above.

I get that 'abnormal' has negative connotations, but I genuinely think the original post wasn't intended to be harmful, nor do I think an insult could be derived from it.

As for vanilla sex including anal - I have never heard that said. Ever. Where are you getting that very strange idea from?

Vanilla to me means 'normal' or 'plain', e.g. things widely accepted as the norm, ergo Vaginal / Anal sex. I may be totally wrong here.

 

[Signa]

Ironically, you're being the most intolerant person in this thread. Stop acting like you're special so your feelings must never be hurt. Embrace your abnormalness, because being normal is mundane.

See what I did there? I put negative connotation on being normal. You can spin both terms both ways.

Ahem. See the post right above yours. Or, if you can't be bothered to scroll, I'll quote it:

Since when was "abnormal" a bad thing?

It isn't, in and of itself. However, saying that homosexuality is abnormal - when science has proven it a normal part of mammal sexuality - is ignorant and hateful. See my post(s) above.

Now sado-masochism - that is abnormal. And a ton of fun. ^^

You can be gay, which is normal, and have a kink or fetish, which is technically abnormal. Or you can be "vanilla" gay - just like you can be straight and kinky, or straight and vanilla. Or bi etc....

There. There's nothing wrong with being weird - I fully admit to being weird. But I'm not weird because I'm gay or bi - I'm weird for other reasons.

As for you spinning the term - great for you. If you can convince the other 7 billion people in the world to agree with you, then we'll talk. To, to put another way, I can say that the sky is covered in purple polka-dots, but that doesn't make it true. I can also say that everyone in the US is treated equally irregardless of sexual preference - but, again, I'd be lying.

I think context is absolutely critical here, as stated in the thread already. You say it's normal to be gay, I'm saying it isn't, mostly because of context. I think it's absolutely normal to have a percent of the population be gay, but within that population, being gay isn't the norm. The context I'm looking at is that heterosexuality is the baseline, not just because it's the most common, but because it's the structure of the most basic need to reproduce. Whether you are gay, into BDSM, balloons, animals, or machines, they all measure normal +/- X from that normal (whereas X is an arbitrary value of weirdness). Compared to the guys I've heard about that love to fuck cars, gays are pretty normal (still having sex with humans), but having sex with anyone that isn't opposite from your gender throws that imaginary number way off.

Once again, I'm not trying to say that being abnormal is a bad thing, because reasons, but you sound like you are desperately trying to be called normal (going as far as telling others they are being insulting because they spoke casually) when your differences are the very thing that you identify with. Like I said, be proud of those differences, but don't get insulted when others are experimenting in an exercise of categorization and classification. As I see it, that's all this thread is.

i'm a furry myself, and i just wanna clear something up, furry CAN be a fetish, i will gladly admit that. but it PRIMARILY isn't. those with the "fetish" (it really should be called "kink") are referred to in-community as "Furverts"

OT: like i stated above i am a furry, but i also am kinda a furvert. hell i even own a canine-modeled Zeta toy

Now this is interesting. You're saying that being a furry isn't a fetish, and that it actually is/can be a sexuality. As sexuality has been outlined to me in the most forward-thinking way, a person can exist anywhere on a spectrum between totally gay and totally straight (not some binary gay/straight scale). So then, where and how would you plot furries on a graph of sexualities? What other sexualities exist out there? I feel like this is the kind of thing this thread should have been talking about instead of semantics like what the word normal means, and how offensive someone could take it.

 

[aba1]

I think context is absolutely critical here, as stated in the thread already. You say it's normal to be gay, I'm saying it isn't, mostly because of context. I think it's absolutely normal to have a percent of the population be gay, but within that population, being gay isn't the norm. The context I'm looking at is that heterosexuality is the baseline, not just because it's the most common, but because it's the structure of the most basic need to reproduce. Whether you are gay, into BDSM, balloons, animals, or machines, they all measure normal +/- X from that normal (whereas X is an arbitrary value of weirdness). Compared to they guys I've heard about that love to fuck cars, gays are pretty normal (still having sex with humans), but having sex with anyone that isn't opposite from your gender throws that imaginary number way off.

Once again, I'm not trying to say that being abnormal is a bad thing, because reasons, but you sound like you are desperately trying to be called normal (going as far as telling others they are being insulting because they spoke casually) when your differences are the very thing that you identify with. Like I said, be proud of those differences, but don't get insulted when others are experimenting in an exercise of categorization and classification. As I see it, that's all this thread is.

i'm a furry myself, and i just wanna clear something up, furry CAN be a fetish, i will gladly admit that. but it PRIMARILY isn't. those with the "fetish" (it really should be called "kink") are referred to in-community as "Furverts"

OT: like i stated above i am a furry, but i also am kinda a furvert. hell i even own a canine-modeled Zeta toy

Now this is interesting. You're saying that being a furry isn't a fetish, and that it actually is/can be a sexuality. As sexuality has been outlined to me in the most forward-thinking way, a person can exist anywhere on a spectrum between totally gay and totally straight (not some binary gay/straight scale). So then, where and how would you plot furries on a graph of sexualities? What other sexualities exist out there? I feel like this is the kind of thing this thread should have been talking about instead of semantics like what the word normal means, and how offensive someone could take it.

THANK YOU!!!!!! This is all I was trying to say. All I was looking to do was having a interesting discussion on sexual theory. I wasn't looking to make anyone feel personally attacked just to stop and consider different ideas or concepts. Even if you don't agree it is always interesting to think about.

 

[Headsprouter]

There are a great deal of people whose fetish is just about the entirety of their sexuality. I think you could argue that being gay could be considered a fetish. I don't think most people care to think of it that way but it is essentially.

I had an argument with a guy on YouTube (mistake number 1) claiming that even Paedophilia was in essence, just another fetish, or sexual orientation, just like being gay, bi, or asexual, however this one is completely unacceptable.

Yeah, he "called the feds" on me. My opinion of paedophiles was always very negative, but I started to wonder after I saw a certain documentary about a guy who kidnapped a 11(?) year old girl for around 10 (another estimate) years: "Was he right? Are they just insane?", because I was so angry that such a thing was allowed to happen. Since then, I remain undecided...

But yeah, OT, I'd say no, I don't know any of these people. Nor am I one.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

So aba1, I would suggest you apologize for your use of words, as though they are technically correct they are offensive. It would be like using the word "******" to describe a black person. Technically correct, but offensive.

Thank you.

Everyone who is baffled why I'm upset - this is why. Read COMaestro's entire post.

Well, third time's a charm...

Fourth time, but it seems to have stuck.

Now for the rest of the thread...

Guys - read COMaestro's post. It is a good linguistic look at why the attitude of normal/abnormal is harmful and offensive.

 

[Signa]

So aba1, I would suggest you apologize for your use of words, as though they are technically correct they are offensive. It would be like using the word "******" to describe a black person. Technically correct, but offensive.

Thank you.

Everyone who is baffled why I'm upset - this is why. Read COMaestro's entire post.

Well, third time's a charm...

Fourth time, but it seems to have stuck.

Now for the rest of the thread...

Guys - read COMaestro's post. It is a good linguistic look at why the attitude of normal/abnormal is harmful and offensive.

I'll just leave this here...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Censorship

Censorship is the suppression of speech or other public communication which may be considered objectionable, harmful, sensitive, or inconvenient as determined by a government, media outlet, or other controlling body.

As far as I'm concerned, you're trying to control us by saying you're upset. Now quit derailing the thread and let us discuss something more interesting than your feelings.

 

[Sonic Doctor]

Alright, I guess it's time for another "weird sex" thread. Why? Because I say so. And I'm bored. It's just something that I felt like talking about after reading a random comic.

Do you know anyone whose fetishes or primary sexual fetish happen to be their entire sexuality? As in, the only or most satisfactory way they can get off? Or are you one of these people yourself? I can't think of any examples in the media, other than the obligatory paedophiles that get done for child molestation, child porn, or whatever.

Argh, technically all this sexuality stuff was discussed in last week's "Dark Secrets" thread, since most people equate dark secrets to sexual fetishes.

I'll just quote myself and spoiler it, since I don't want to explain again here:

Spoiler: I warn you. I'm strange.

Oh, sexual fetishes and quirks, ain't life fun....bizarre.

My secret is quite dark, though I don't know how much of a secret it is on here, because I've mentioned it in a few other threads.

When it comes to fetish/fantasy stuff, I'm a big barrel of bizarre.

I'm a cannibal fetishist, through art and story. Lovely women look tasty to me, in that they actually make me hungry besides sexual attraction, though really the two are linked cause I feel both at the same time.

That's my dominant side.

I also have a submissive side too.

I like giantesses. Whether it be that the woman is actually giant-sized/grown to giant proportions, or I've some how shrunk to only a few inches tall and the woman is normal sized. Along with that comes the vore fetish. It all usually ends with the giantess eating me or trying to at least, normally by swallowing whole, but other scenarios sometimes occur.

But in the end, it is what it is, just fantasy fetish stuff. I didn't seek the stuff out; when I became a teenager way back when(14 years ago), thinking about such situations just popped right into my head without any outside influences that I know of.

Hey, you asked for dark secrets, that is what you get. It's not a crazy thing, everybody, whether they like to admit it or not, has some kind of weird kink or thing they are into. It only becomes crazy if the people actually end up trying to act on the impossible or illegal urges. Other than that I think it is healthy to have a weird side to compliment the normal side, and the weirder the better.

I know, weird huh? But as I said there, it is just fantasy, and that is how I see it.

Though that is a part of my sexuality(which I truly believe is balanced), it isn't the only thing that is a part of it. I like women of many shapes and sizes, though what I like the best is if she has a fine rear. That doesn't necessarily mean size, it also means shape, round is key. Breasts really never do it for me, of course that's a big problem I find in the world today, as many women seem to think they need to mess with themselves in that area, even when they have perfectly fine breasts. It's such a tragedy when a perfect ten girl ruins herself by getting the fakes. Really, that brings me to the point of I really don't care to look at a girl if she has had work done. If it was because of a legitimate health problem/injury from an accident, then fine. But if it is done for no proper reason, then no, that girl is out in my book.

I also like hair to be a certain way. I like girls with medium length to long hair, short hair turns me right off. I also don't like frizzy or curly hair. I like straight hair.

Color wise ranking:

1.)Brunette
2.)Red
3.)Black
4.)Blonde

I like women that are balanced, women that are confident enough to do things on their own, but still like to have help with things every once in awhile.

I think my perfect pairing would be with a confident woman, because I'm not always confident myself(I have social anxiety disorder). I need someone that can encourage me to be stronger than I am at times.

I think that is enough. I probably divulge too much info with threads like this. But that is me, I make big and involved posts.

I can see that sort of putting off some women. Especially the pleasing types who enjoy wide variety of sex acts & practices. Still, there is a small flip side: what if you find someone who has the same fetish as you do? Wouldn't be on like donkey kong at that point? ;D

A perfect point.

That is definitely the kind of girl I need to find, one that is into the things I am into. That would be amazing.

Though that is hard to do with strange fetishes, and especially in my case with strange and taboo type fetishes.

 

[Anti Nudist Cupcake]

Yea I know someone like that.

ME.

It isn't S&M though.

But let's just say that I am fairly sure my fetish is the reason I am bisexual.

 

[Slayer_2]

You can't have a "man fetish".

I'm pretty sure that's what most women are afflicted by, except those lesbians who have it figured out.

Joking aside, I don't know anyone with any fetishes of any kind, at least not they they've told me, who knows. We're all so boring here, I blame all the weed.

 

[Signa]

Oh. You didn't. You seriously didn't. Please, for the love of god, tell me this isn't a serious post, that this is just some strange attempt at humor by equating someone finding something offensive and advising people on how to not be offensive to Censorship. Please tell me you aren't taking advice to make people look less like dick-whistles (something that is completely optional), and equating it to something that is forced onto people by more powerful others?
'Cause if you are serious, then... well... I'm gonna be in the corner, weeping over the fact that people have forgotten that Freedom of Speech doesn't mean Freedom to Say Anything and not be Seen as a Dick-whistle.

Yes, over the top, I know, but he and another poster are trying to compare the word "normal" to the caustic effects of the N word. I'm sorry, but "normal" doesn't have 300 years of hatred and bigotry behind it. It's the epitome of its own definition: Normal! Basically, he doesn't like something, and he's making sure we stop sullying "his" Escapist by using a common word. I never meant to bring the right of freedom on speech into the conversation, just that his intent is to silence those that offend him. It's the same kind of censorship that the MPAA raters do to a NC-17 movie, just not in the legal sense you seem to be reading into it.

As it is, he ruined a perfectly good thread with his ranting while contributing nothing to the conversation. He warped and twisted it into something about him because of his own insecurities, and all but one time I called him out on it, he didn't respond. You at least tried to contribute, and did well for a few posts.

So I too will hang my head in disgust and shame. I don't say the often, but his abortion of a thread should just be locked and forgotten about.

 

[omega 616]

It is fine if you disagree with me I mean please feel free to. However if your going to call me wrong I just ask you provide some insight. Your not exactly convincing saying essentially "your wrong so shut up". I tend to think of kinks or fetishes as the sexual attraction to anything outside the norm (aka Vanilla sex).

So please take a seat I would love to hear your opinions and thoughts please feel free to change my mind all I ask is you don't be rude or insulting.

I bolded the part where you are insulting the entire gay community.

This whole "you aren't normal" attitude is unhealthy, insulting, and homophobic. We are normal - saying we're outside the norm is not acceptable.

Being in the minority doesn't make a person abnormal.

Actually, what you quoted isn't offensive to anybody. What he said previous to it might have been though.

Being abnormal is exactly what you said it isn't, technically speaking. Normal is what the majority do. Not that there is anything with being abnormal, infact I think abnormal people are more usually interesting

On topic. I thought the vast majority on this site would be into anime porn, yiffing etc. I have no kinks really, let alone fetishes or even basing my sexuality round them.

I do think people who do base there entire sexuality round them though, are a little too into it ... like having sex in the missionary position with no other objects and no role playing would actually be kinky to them.

 

[Slitzkin]

So a topic regarding human sexuality has evolved into a topic regarding anthropology and politcal correctness...

I like a litte BDSM but I hate all that leather stuff...

 

[Faulty Turmoil]

Alright, I guess it's time for another "weird sex" thread. Why? Because I say so. And I'm bored. It's just something that I felt like talking about after reading a random comic.

Do you know anyone whose fetishes or primary sexual fetish happen to be their entire sexuality? As in, the only or most satisfactory way they can get off? Or are you one of these people yourself? I can't think of any examples in the media, other than the obligatory paedophiles that get done for child molestation, child porn, or whatever.

I don't know anyone like that. Most of the people I know on a personal level (close friends, family) or a sexual level (my ex's) get off on a number of things. I'm certainly not like that. Being bisexual, I have more ways to reach happy land between both sexes then I know what to do with.

I have to wonder if it's a bit frustrating to be singular in what someone gets off on, though.

Trust me it is. The fact that I can only get off on my particular fetish gets annoying. Don't get me wrong though, I love it, but there are a few downsides:

1. Get a girlfriend; tell girlfriend about fetish; girlfriend (figuratively) runs away screaming. No more girlfriend.

2. If I hide it from a partner and try to be "normal" I find it extremely difficult to ahem... "perform".

3. Porn, just porn. If it's "normal" and you get caught then you know, whatever. Sure it's a little embarassing but everyone does it. My porn? Well let's just say that's how you lose friends.

I can see that sort of putting off some women. Especially the pleasing types who enjoy wide variety of sex acts & practices. Still, there is a small flip side: what if you find someone who has the same fetish as you do? Wouldn't be on like donkey kong at that point? ;D

If I do it'll be so on that Donkey Kong himself wouldn't be able to separate us. XD

 

[Faulty Turmoil]

So a topic regarding human sexuality has evolved into a topic regarding anthropology and politcal correctness...

I like a litte BDSM but I hate all that leather stuff...

I think we should just tie them up and gag them. Then throw them in R&P. XD

Captcha: "hold your tongue" See? Even the creepily on topic captcha agrees.

 

[KiloFox]

snip because it's irrelivent

i'm a furry myself, and i just wanna clear something up, furry CAN be a fetish, i will gladly admit that. but it PRIMARILY isn't. those with the "fetish" (it really should be called "kink") are referred to in-community as "Furverts"

OT: like i stated above i am a furry, but i also am kinda a furvert. hell i even own a canine-modeled Zeta toy

Now this is interesting. You're saying that being a furry isn't a fetish, and that it actually is/can be a sexuality. As sexuality has been outlined to me in the most forward-thinking way, a person can exist anywhere on a spectrum between totally gay and totally straight (not some binary gay/straight scale). So then, where and how would you plot furries on a graph of sexualities? What other sexualities exist out there? I feel like this is the kind of thing this thread should have been talking about instead of semantics like what the word normal means, and how offensive someone could take it.

i think you're misunderstanding what i said.

i never said it was a sexuality, nor did i mean to imply that. it's really more of a lifestyle or a hobby (depending on who you ask) and the sexual side of it is a kink/fetish. we still have normal sexualities (Gay/Striaght/Bi/Asexual/Pansexual)
as a tangent that's really still on the same vein however, some furs are a little strange that they're straight/gay/asexual when it comes to RL people, but have a different sexuality when it comes to anthros. but don't ask me to explain it.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Yes, over the top, I know, but he and another poster are trying to compare the word "normal" to the caustic effects of the N word. I'm sorry, but "normal" doesn't have 300 years of hatred and bigotry behind it.

"Normal" actually has quite a lot of hatred and bigotry behind it when used in certain contexts.

Really though, evoking censorship was stupid, much in the same way evoking freedom of speech is so often stupid. But you seem to be cognizant of that, so I'm not really going to launch into a long explanation as to why.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Censorship

Censorship is the suppression of speech or other public communication which may be considered objectionable, harmful, sensitive, or inconvenient as determined by a government, media outlet, or other controlling body.

As far as I'm concerned, you're trying to control us by saying you're upset.

... and your point being?

Are you saying that people not being able to use the n-word is censorship? Cause this is the same issue.

If you really think that, then I have nothing more to say to you.

 

[Sonic Doctor]

snip

Another good point to make. It's harder to find someone who is mirrored to you in interests that go against the norm, so to speak. But again, I counter with this: websites! Yes, there are websites for a lot of fetishes. I can't say if they will have ones for your particular liking, but that is where I would start. :3

Oh I'm well aware of websites that fit what I'm into. I became a member of a few a long time ago, message boards and all.

It'll just be a matter of finding a match that is relatively close by and is in my age range.

I know it isn't exactly true, but having just turned 27 last month, I feel like time is flying by and I feel stupidly old(even though I shouldn't).

Though, I feel that things will most likely get better when I finally get a job. With the way things have went since I graduated from college, it just feels more and more like college was a waste of time, at least in the hours of time wasted in classes that aren't getting used now and the 40,000 dollars in loans I'm in debt for.

Hopefully my meeting with my city's work rehabilitative office next week will show some promise of finding a position somewhere that I can get an edge to get into. It won't be a grand job, but money is money.

 

[Signa]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Censorship

Censorship is the suppression of speech or other public communication which may be considered objectionable, harmful, sensitive, or inconvenient as determined by a government, media outlet, or other controlling body.

As far as I'm concerned, you're trying to control us by saying you're upset.

... and your point being?

Are you saying that people not being able to use the n-word is censorship? Cause this is the same issue.

If you really think that, then I have nothing more to say to you.

My point being is that no one should listen to you, because I don't want to live in a world where we are all more concerned about hurting others' feelings than living our own lives. Your feelings are not my concern, and they are no one's concern but your own. If you want to stamp out intolerance, start with those that actually are being hateful towards others, not people that accidentally use a benign phrase that could mean two different things when they only meant one of them.

Yet again on the next line, you're reading into it wrong [footnote]I'll forgive you fully for this one, because it isn't the same giant leap of logic you're using with "normal"[/footnote]. People avoid using the N word because they are trying to not insult black people. If everyone in this thread magically saw the light you are trying to shed on us, we'd all be coming away from here trying to avoid using a basic word like normal when talking about hetero sex, so as not to insult gays. That's just fucking stupid, and I don't know how you can't see that.

You still have not responded to my last comment as to why I'm wrong about gay sex being -/+ weird, or the accusation that your only interest in here is to be called normal. I'm trying to open a dialogue with you, but it seems the only way to get you to respond is to say something stupid, as if you will only respond when you are convinced you can win this discussion. If you're not actually interested in this discussion, then just bow out, I won't think less of you, but the way you're acting tells me that you're not happy with the way the thread has gone, and with or without a valid argument, you won't let it go.

"Normal" actually has quite a lot of hatred and bigotry behind it when used in certain contexts.

Please name a few and show why they apply to this conversation in the context it was used. I'm not talking about contexts like the subversion of the word queer, and how it means not normal and gay. If Aba1 was talking about running all the queers out of the town, and somehow wording that statement to use the word normal (I can't be bothered to make that statement up for this theoretical scenario), then we wouldn't be having this conversation. I'd be alongside Bara here trying to stamp out the intolerant bigots. That's why I invoked censorship. I agree with Bara that we should all be nice to each other, but the level he's talking about is totalitarian. It's quelling the freedom to express one's self naturally, all for the sake of a few that could read into it deeper than what was intended. It's all part of the new-wave PC agenda that I absolutely abhor, and I... *ahem*... won't stand for it on my escapist.

[footnote]almost fell into a double-meaning trap myself here. I posted the pic because the troll's smile was exactly the tongue-in-cheek snark I wanted for that last line, but then I realized someone could take it to mean that I'm literally trolling, which is not the case. I'm interested in clarity, not political correctness[/footnote]

i think you're misunderstanding what i said.

i never said it was a sexuality, nor did i mean to imply that. it's really more of a lifestyle or a hobby (depending on who you ask) and the sexual side of it is a kink/fetish. we still have normal sexualities (Gay/Striaght/Bi/Asexual/Pansexual)
as a tangent that's really still on the same vein however, some furs are a little strange that they're straight/gay/asexual when it comes to RL people, but have a different sexuality when it comes to anthros. but don't ask me to explain it.

Ok, phew. I was trying to wrap my head around that and it wasn't working very well. Since I feel our exchange has been the most on-topic, let me ask you this: how would one differentiate between a sexuality and a fetish? Calling gays people with a "man fetish" sounds really stupid, but I'm struggling to see how that doesn't actually fit my understanding of a fetish. [footnote]A fetish being something that sexually arouses you, occasionally to the point where lacking that fetish makes it difficult to be interested in normal sex[/footnote]. Calling furries a sexuality sounds stupid, but I can't see the difference between being aroused by human men or animal-people.

 

[Owen Robertson]

There are a great deal of people whose fetish is just about the entirety of their sexuality. I think you could argue that being gay could be considered a fetish. I don't think most people care to think of it that way but it is essentially.

Um, no.

Psychology . any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.

It's not that "essentially" at all. You can have a foot fetish, or a shoe fetish, or a uniform fetish, or a food fetish, or a leather fetish.

You can't have a "man fetish".

Doesn't Freud say that sexuality is a combination of availability and preference? So there is no "natural" sexual attraction. A lot of people are sexually repressed because of societal view (at least in North America. Goddamn Puritan settlers) and peer pressure. Imagine admitting to your sexual fetish in front of your peers. Most people on here have an anonymity. It's also a fairly consequence-free environment.

OT: I don't know anyone whose completely obsessive about their fetish, but I have a friend who won't have sex unless he loves the person he does it with. He's 20, and yes he's still a virgin.

Then again, so am I. At least he has a reason. I guess I'm just lazy or shit at talking to women... Why am I being this revealing right now?