Filling the void

[Ishal]

Yeah its going to be one of these threads again.

I had to put my dog down yesterday. He was twelve years old and suffered from an enlarged heart (possibly a tumor). The vet said he would have only lasted a few days at most, or perhaps a week. So I made the decision. Watching his eyes shut the last time was hard, but its the void he left that is difficult to cope with.

I mourn his passing more than some recent relatives who died, simply because he was such a presence in my life. He was a companion, and now there is nothing. So the question is, whats the best thing to do fill the void? How do you all cope? (if you need to cope, i understand some people don't need to)

I've been running, watching cartoons to try and lift my spirits, and started another play through of Dark Souls. I think I might pick up The Witcher 2. That might be a good idea since I've been meaning to play it and a completely new experience might divert my mind more.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Fucking sucks dude, I lost one of my dogs last January.

It hurts, but it'll fade and you'll be left with only good memories

 

[Berithil]

Yeah, it's a hard thing to go through. It was difficult when we had to put down our family dog that I had grown up with. I can't really remember what I did to cope with it, but I do know that my mom had a much harder time than I did

 

[BlazeRaider]

Lost one of my dogs last month, my mom and sister took her to the vet and she had an fluid in her lungs apparently, got a hert attack while there and died. It sucks for sure, what helped me was remembering though that while she was here, she lived a pretty damn good life, full of love, affection, and leisure, she was truly a part of the family. Try to not let the death spoil all the good times I'm sure you had. Might also help to get a little reminder in her honour, my family got one of those little stones with their paw print on it. Death is sad, and it's silly to think you'll ever look at a fallen friend's death neutrally, but you can sure try to make the happy thoughts out way the bad ones, until the small tinge of bitterness is undetectable among the sweet.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

Damn man, my condolences.

Last September, I was finally able to experience being the owner of a small Terrier-Golden Retriever mix. It was just the best and cutest dog you could ever ask for. The only problem is that it belonged to my thought fleeting sibling, who only wants things and is quickly disinterested by them, and my parents that had little to no affinity with dogs.

One day, my one of my neglectful parents left the back door open and our dog seemingly left on his own, although it's believed that he followed someone and was taken, as he was a very playful, friendly, and curious dog.

I swear, the next pet I get will only be able to be handled and taken care of by me. Possible candidates are a chameleon, a hedgehog, or a sloth.

 

[IndomitableSam]

I'm so, so sorry.

Yesterday, my friend put down her cat. He was about 6, and we'd adopted him a few weeks ago. We. I'd helped her pick him out, took him home to ehr place, and visied often, and my sister had also been doing the vet runs this week with my friend, and I'd been over quite a bit too. It was rough, and I'm just not okay today. I'm glad I got to see him the day before, though.

In February, we had to put down my baby boy. He was 15. I don't mean real baby, I mean the cat I had gotten when I was 14 (on the day of my grandfather's funeral, and also a week after another cat had died, and many other things happened that year as well, leaving the kitten and also his brother the only things that kept my entire family going for a time). Bo (and also his brother Nick, who is still alive) was my child, my baby, and the light of my life. I'm still shattered over it. I don't go one day without thinking about it, and I still cry. It's hit me harder than any other loss I've had. To make matters worse, they live with my parents. When we moved out, my cats stayed with my parents as they're outdoor cats and it wasn't fair to convert them to apartment life. So I only see them a few hours a week now. Which is horrible.

How do I cope? A hell of a lot of distraction. When it happened, I stayed up for hours reading because the thought of turning off the lights and trying to sleep was agony. When I did, I literally pictured myself painting a blank wall, over and over and over and held onto the image so I could sleep. I did take a few days off work because I couldn't function normally. I just played games and ate. And wept.

Now? I still avoid almost any talk about animals I can. I don't look at pictures online of cute animals, I don't talk about them much... I just can't deal with that grief yet. So I change the subject, play games, watch movies and don't think about it.

Which isn't really coping, I know. But I fee like I lost a child. ... Cue the raging and insults about that, I know, but my boys are my children. I won't be having 'real' kids of my own, so these are my babies. And no one can tell anyone how they should feel or grieve. Because if it were in person, I would tear them apart.

 

[Able Seacat]

I'm really sorry to hear that. Just last week my cat went missing and I was pretty upset about it. It's the not knowing which bothers me most. Just know that your dog had a good life and things will be ok. Exercise is definitely good and talking with friends/family is a good idea too. Your pet had an influence on your life and you will have an influence on others so no one (not even pets) is ever truly gone.

 

[Kolby Jack]

When I was 12, my family's dog Lady was killed by a car. I still remember when I walked outside and looked over her body sitting in a giant pool of blood, then running inside crying like I never have before and screaming to my mom "Lady got hit by a car and she's dead!" One of the saddest days of my life. It's never easy losing a beloved pet, but 12 years is a good life for a dog. The best thing you can do is just remember the good times and cherish them.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

Yeah its going to be one of these threads again.

There is always room for threads like this. It helps to talk when people feel down.

I mourn his passing more than some recent relatives who died, simply because he was such a presence in my life. He was a companion, and now there is nothing. So the question is, whats the best thing to do fill the void? How do you all cope? (if you need to cope, i understand some people don't need to)

I've been running, watching cartoons to try and lift my spirits, and started another play through of Dark Souls. I think I might pick up The Witcher 2. That might be a good idea since I've been meaning to play it and a completely new experience might divert my mind more.

Don't just mourn his passing, celebrate his life. Think about all the happy memories you had and share them with other people. It's hard, but at least he's not suffering.

I had to put down two of my dogs last year. The first, a golden lab mix was old and couldn't carry on, but she was the most loyal, well behaved dog I've ever seen. She'd come from an abusive family. Her previous owner had broken her hip with a broom, we took her in and she became really protective of us. She would get up every night and do guard patrol around our house, checking every bedroom to make sure we were all okay. She always seemed so grateful and she lived to be a nice old age.

The second was a Vizsla mix. She was always full of energy and an absolute destructive monster! When we went for walks, she'd take off after squirrels and drag me through the grass. I lost many stuffed animals, shoes and slippers to her. When she got older, she was still that way, but a little more mellow. After our lab mix died, she seemed to loose her spark and she didn't live very long after that. Even though she caused us so much grief, I still love her and they are actually happy memories in my mind.

What happy memories do you have of your dog? How was he a companion to you?

 

[Chromatic Aberration]

I had to put my dog down yesterday. He was twelve years old and suffered from an enlarged heart (possibly a tumor). The vet said he would have only lasted a few days at most, or perhaps a week. So I made the decision. Watching his eyes shut the last time was hard, but its the void he left that is difficult to cope with.

I mourn his passing more than some recent relatives who died, simply because he was such a presence in my life. He was a companion, and now there is nothing. So the question is, whats the best thing to do fill the void? How do you all cope? (if you need to cope, i understand some people don't need to)

I've been running, watching cartoons to try and lift my spirits, and started another play through of Dark Souls. I think I might pick up The Witcher 2. That might be a good idea since I've been meaning to play it and a completely new experience might divert my mind more.

I hear you. It has been now a little bit over a week since I had to put down mine. It was a thirteen-year old Belgian shepherd mix diagnosed with cancer already half a year ago. Decided to operate but two weeks ago we took her to the vet again since she had trouble walking and the cancer had proliferated into her lungs. Not much we could do. And then on Friday, she was so plainly in agony that we decided to end it. I will probably never forget that last look she gave me when the vet gave her her final shot and I'll probably never forget how I ruffled her fur just a few hours earlier to calm her down....

But it's like always and life has to go on - one way or the other.

So trying to distract yourself was the right decision in the short-term, by exercising games or anything actually. I'd say it especially helps to be around people that distract you instead of just being alone. I went to a pub with some of my friends on Saturday and got enjoyably drunk - which was exactly the thing I needed to take my mind off of things. Other than that, It's as Eclipse Dragon already said, focus on the good things you had with your dog and what a good time it had in life. For instance, that exciting look my dog gave me whenever I picked up her favourite toy or how she started circling around me during a walk, like one of those shield thingies in the 2D side-scroller space shooters of old, eyes fixed on a piece of wood I picked up that she'd run after in ecstasy the moment I threw it...good times.

 

[Angie7F]

I cant imagine having to go through losing my dog...
I am so sorry for waht you are going though right now.

Sometimes changing the scnery all together is good.
Go out etc, though I know it will be very very hard...

 

[JemothSkarii]

Man, that's unfortunate. I have a 16 year old Jack Russel, and she's really starting to show her age. Only started to happen the last few days. Almost blind and deaf, she can run around but will yelp in pain when picks up, and she's developed a nasty phlegmy cough on cold days.

My parents won't take her to the vet, and I can't do it myself. But we all know that's going to go soon. I even reckon she does; she'll stare at me with these sad eyes when I go by, and she'll lay on my feet when she knows it's upsetting me. It's incredibly painful for me to see this energetic happy dog turn into this lazy...stoic one.

As much as I prepare for it I know it will shatter me; I grew up with her since I was 5...

 

[HoneyVision]

I'm not going to lie and say that I feel your pain because I've never owned a pet, but my heart does go out to you. Hope you feel better.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I know exactly how you feel. I carried my childhood dog to his death too.

I don't have any real tips for dealing with it man... I just slowed down my life for a bit then got really busy again. Just don't buy a new pet right away. I have never really heard of that helping in the short term.

 

[bojackx]

I'm sorry for your loss. A few years ago we had one of our Yorkies put down and whilst she wasn't very affectionate at all and I'd only known it for about 3 years, it still really hurt. The second of the two is still alive right now, but she's got anywhere between a few months to a couple of years left, and I love her a whole lot more than the previous one. So whilst I can't say I've had the same feeling so far, I'm sure I will in the near future.

I've never had a tragedy bigger than relatives I'm pretty distant from passing away, so I don't have many good coping mechanisms. I will however, suggest you play Minecraft. Set yourself a decent task, and then you'll sink into a daze and it'll sure make you forget about the pain.

Other than that, endure it I guess?

EDIT: I just remembered I put down my mouse a couple of weeks ago now (strange of me to forget something like that...) and that was an unfortunate loss. The little fella was a couple of years old and started to develop tumours as well as stratching its ear until it literally tore apart.

We didn't take it to the vet, and originally I had planned to whack it on the head with a hammer for a quick and painless experience, but I was way too cowardly for that. In the end, we dissolved a couple of morphine pills in its water and let it overdose in a drug-induced bliss. I'd like to think it was bliss, and it sure looked like it wasn't in pain.

So yeah, more dead animals for me, yay...

I also volunteered at my local vet's place for a while too, and saw a few dogs be put to sleep. It never got any less uncomfortable hearing the families crying through the door.

 

[sextus the crazy]

I lost 4 pets within the span of about 2 years. It hurts, but there's not much you can do about it other than accept it and move on. It's not like life is going to stop.