First date or whatever

[Grabbin Keelz]

I'll try not to throw my entire life story at you, but here it is.
So I'm 18 and I've never had a girlfriend, like ever. However, I have been told by several lady friends of mine that I would make an excellent boyfriend (just an opinion of course). After a bit of thinking and asking friends, I've narrowed down the biggest reason why I can't get a gf, and it's really the most obvious one. I don't have the gall/guts/nerve/balls to ask a girl out. So naturally, I figured the best advice to turn to was the internet. So I ask you, is there any time when you wanted to ask a girl out but couldn't, and if you did how did you manage to do it? Hell, just put anything that would make good gf advice.

I know this sounds reeeallly silly and there are probably bigger things I should worry about, but damn it I would really like to have a girlfriend.

 

[snowman6251]

The last time I successfully asked a girl out it went something like this (we were friends prior though so asking someone you don't know as well for their number wouldn't really work like this).

"So anyway we've been hanging out a fair bit recently and you've kind of grown on me in that time so I'd like to take you out on a date and you should definitely say yes because at worst you put up with me for a little while and get a free meal and at best awesome things happen".

That's more or less exactly what I said and I got a laugh and a yes so yeah, go ahead and use that if you like. Just tell me if it works out for you.

 

[Death Prophet]

Be direct, and most importantly be confident. After that its just getting the simple words passed your lips....Do you want to go out sometime? Women are wonderful creatures but guys need to stop putting them on such high pedastels that make talking to them some colossal feat of strength to accomplish. Just tell youself you are good enough for her, if not better than her, and stooping down to her level, but for christs sake never tell her that.

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

Yes, absolutely, its natural to be nervous. Just do it...thats all, but not quite that simple, start a casual conversation and lead up to asking her out.

 

[Zantos]

I had this problem. I found an easy 3 step program. The only requirements are having friends who don't mind lying for you or doing you a favour.

1) Man Up!

2) Just say something like "Hey do you fancy going to see a film/get coffee/go for drinks/go for a picnic/go bowling sometime?". If they say yes then you're good. If they say no then use your friends to claim it wasn't at all a date and you were arranging a big group outing that they were all going to and she is just being wierd.

3) If you like a girl who you have mutual friends with where some of the mutual friends are couples then get them to invite you and her out. Easy way to already be on a date without having to have asked her out. If it seems suspicious that you're the only 2 they invited get your friends to tell her the others cancelled.

 

[gazumped]

I hope you have a specific girly (at least one) in mind and aren't just going to date a girl for the sake of not being alone. :O

Having said that, asking a girl on a date isn't much different to asking a friend to hang out, you've just got to precede the invitation with an indication that you mean more than asking a friend to hang out.

So "You want to get a milkshake or something?" Turns into "Hey, I kinda like you, and I was just wondering... you want to get a milkshake or something?"

 

[Grabbin Keelz]

After a bit of thinking and asking friends, I've narrowed down the biggest reason why I can't get a gf, and it's really the most obvious one. I don't have the gall/guts/nerve/balls to ask a girl out.

I have the same problem, but there is a great alternative: parties.
When you are at a house party you're expected to socialise with everybody, so you just chat up a girl you like, flirt with her a bit and if things go well you'll probably make out or even fuck (but that's optional if you're 18) some time later. Then you get her number and bam!, you start dating.

Well, there are many ways in which this scenario can fail, but it's the best way I know to meet girls and the only one that has worked for me.

Obviously I don't have enough experience to know this but doesn't it seem weird that making out and or fucking comes before getting their number?

 

[Grabbin Keelz]

I hope you have a specific girly (at least one) in mind and aren't just going to date a girl for the sake of not being alone. :O

More of the first. It's just that I've had so many chances to ask that one girl which I would pass up because I didn't have the....well you know.

 

[SilentCom]

You know your problem and the solution already, have at it, she's waiting.

 

[zombiesinc]

I don't have the gall/guts/nerve/balls to ask a girl out. So naturally, I figured the best advice to turn to was the internet. So I ask you, is there any time when you wanted to ask a girl out but couldn't, and if you did how did you manage to do it? Hell, just put anything that would make good gf advice.

I know this sounds reeeallly silly and there are probably bigger things I should worry about, but damn it I would really like to have a girlfriend.

Not being able to work up the courage to ask a girl/guy out is often the biggest hurdle a person faces, and it happens more often than not. Honestly though, if you don't find that courage, or force yourself to simply do it, it'll never happen. So, it comes down to you deciding whether you're going to allow yourself to continue like this, and likely never get a girlfriend, or force yourself to get past that hurdle and simply ask.

And over time it'll come more naturally. Of course it won't help if a girl declines, or doesn't feel the same way, but it's not something you should allow yourself to take personally. Just remember that we don't choose whether or not we're attracted to someone. And as worn out and cliché as it is: if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

It's not silly to be worrying about working up the courage to ask a girl out, it's natural. It's a stage most everyone goes through. Although some issues or concerns of one individual may seem "less important" than another person's issues, they're completely relative. There will be more difficult and trying issues you'll face in your life, but right now this is most relevant and therefore what you're focused on. So long as you can recognize the more important and long-term issues and prioritize, don't stress about what others think.

 

[ddrfr33k]

I'll try not to throw my entire life story at you, but here it is.
So I'm 18 and I've never had a girlfriend, like ever. However, I have been told by several lady friends of mine that I would make an excellent boyfriend (just an opinion of course). After a bit of thinking and asking friends, I've narrowed down the biggest reason why I can't get a gf, and it's really the most obvious one. I don't have the gall/guts/nerve/balls to ask a girl out. So naturally, I figured the best advice to turn to was the internet. So I ask you, is there any time when you wanted to ask a girl out but couldn't, and if you did how did you manage to do it? Hell, just put anything that would make good gf advice.

I know this sounds reeeallly silly and there are probably bigger things I should worry about, but damn it I would really like to have a girlfriend.

You're just gonna have to work up the courage to ask her. I've been there, done that, scared the shit out of me the first time. Was it worth it? Hell yes!

The best advice I can give is to not word it as a date for the first one or two times. A common (though good) tactic is to as if she wants to hang out sometime. Even if it's meeting to chat at the local mall's food court. Grab a Blizzard from the Dairy Queen or something and just shoot the breeze. It helps keep your nerves in check, and keeps it less serious. After that, then start asking her out on dates. Some girls are more willing to call it a date earlier on, but you never know.

TBH, it sounds like you're more nervous about rejection more than anything. If you simply keep it as hanging out at first, at least then if she declines she's more likely to keep you in the "friend zone" than if you went on dates right off the bat.

Best of luck, mate. Let us know how it goes.

 

[IndianaJonny]

You know your problem and the solution already, have at it, she's waiting.

Snap. That's it in a nutshell, friend.

 

[Zantos]

Ok, fucking someone you've just met is a bit slutty, but it's fairly common when alcohol is involved and there are conditions for it. Making out, however, is for most girls I know just a way of saying "I really like you" or harmless fun. When you are at a house party you kind of already are on a date since you're both there to have fun and meet people. There is of course nothing wrong in asking for a number of a girl with whom you had a good time without making out when you or she is leaving.

Where is this and what's the best way to get there?

OT: Not all girls are like the ones this fella knows. However he is right, parties tend to be full of people who are geared up for seeing old friends and meeting new ones, and alcohol can be known in moderate uantities to make you relax and just go with the flow.

But don't be constantly evaluating everyone you meet in terms of if you want to date them. Just have fun and meet new people, make friends, even if you don't like your new friends in that way they can then wingman/woman/person for you with some of their friends. In my experience, just let things happen naturally and they will. Just make sure to keep your common sense filter on at all times.

 

[SilentCom]

In case you want a little more detail as to how to talk to a girl, I realize it's probably best not to force yourself onto a girl. Don't rush it, get to know her and let her know you. This is simply done by talking to them as I have mentioned previously. If there is any chemistry between you two, then it will probably progress rather naturally. After that, a relationship could grow between you two.

You just got to let it happen and don't be afraid. She either likes you or she doesn't.