First thing you'd say after rising from a coma.

[lockeslylcrit]

"Do the Cubs still suck?"

"Man, I'm going to do SO much cocaine...and rape so many fine bitches. It'll be like '5 o-clock? Its *****-raping time!'"

Cookie for those who know where this is from.

Predators

 

[Rabarberskurk]

"I need a wank brb"

 

[Aviyur]

"Do I have super powers now?"

 

[The Stonker]

"Get your hands off my junk"

 

[Devil's Due]

I hope that should I ever be put under a coma and wake up, I'd just act as if I was waking up. Group around me, I'd simply say "what the hell you all looking at?" and proceed to try and get up and leave, stating "I'd love to stay and chat, but I've had enough of you people." Or some other grumpy remark, and sign myself out from the hospital and try to go home.

They'd hold me back, but I'd just be pretty damn grumpy.

 

[Sacman]

"Can I go home yet?"

 

[The_Yeti]

F*CK, I left the oven on.

 

[supermariner]

"Is Jamie Oliver dead yet?"
"no"
"oh... wake me up in another 10 years then" *goes back to sleep*

 

[Camaranth]

OWWWWWWWWW!

 

[Bluedemon322]

Holy shit, what is this?
Forged in God's very flames.

Do mine eyes tell me lies,
A new Elder Scrolls Game?

Time is nigh, I must fly,
Venture forth on my quest.

Goodbye Ma, goodbye Pa
And goodbye Girlfriend's breasts.

I'll be off Azeroth, catch you later Hyrule.
I'll be gone Albion, I'm no longer your fool.

Other crap filled the gap
While I waited to begin...

The adventure of my life
in the land of Skyrim!

 

[SnowCold]

Fucking respawn time!

 

[anthony87]

"IF ANY OF YOU TOUCHED MY HAIR OR BEARD WHILE I WAS OUT I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

 

[aenimau5]

Have they legalized weed yet? Why the fuck not?

 

[Vykrel]

id probably just ask what happened and then how long i was out

depending on how long, i would immediately go and get every game that i wanted to get during the time i was in a coma

 

[ReservoirAngel]

"I didn't mind the rest, but the orderly raping me was a bit uncalled for."

or..

"...bollocks! I forgot to put the bins out!"

 

[culade]

back in high school it would've been

"why do my eye's hurt?"

now it'd be:

"they let me live.. i will make them pay for that!"

 

[Mr Shrike]

"...of course I'll attempt to go into space using only a trampoline and a giant elastic band! What could possibly go wro- Wait, where am I?"

Or something like that...

 

[gunheads]

I would roll over and sleep for 5 more minutes, while mumbling "I cant be arsed"

 

[DevilSShadoW]

surrounded by loved ones, friends:
"GOD DAMN IT! No aliens?"

 

[Stasisesque]

"I really need to brush my teeth."