Five Kick-ass reasons for...

[Anarchemitis]

Name 5 reasons why the above poster's thing that you would become (be it inanimate or fictional) would be awesome, and 5 reasons why it would be not awesome, followed by the thing the next person will be.
How this works is:

Ten Reasons being a Hunter from Half Life 2 Episode 2 would be awesome:
[li]I could run at 60 km/h[/li]
[li]One word: Bulletproof[/li]
[li]A friggen radio and vaporizer flechette gun mounted on my head.[/li]
[li]Independent eye vision[/li]
[li]Did I mention a gun on my head?[/li]
On the other hand...
[li]Say goodbye to eating sutff.[/li]
[li]And free will.[/li]
[li]And computers.[/li]
[li]And liquor.[/li]
[li]...and sex. [/li]

[If you want, you can also state if you think the cons outweigh the pros, or vise versa, and why.]
GO!

Name 5 pros and 5 cons to being a Jedi.

 

[Ultrajoe]

Pros

Flying
Get Everywhere Fast
Fame
Get Away From Anything
Get Into Anywhere

Shot Down In Restricted Airspace
Cut Apart For Science
Employed For Labor
Fame
Death From Impact With Weather Baloons

Pros and Cons of owning a pet Tiger

 

[mshcherbatskaya]

PROS:

I got yer fucking crazy cat lady right here pal!
Front row seats at the circus
Burglar alarm? What burglar alarm?
Best. Myspace pic. Evar.
EPIC pet

CONS:

...that is not supposed to be a scratching post.
you think bathing a regular cat is bad?
ditto going to the vet?
Eats your significant other.
Litter box.


Being a cyborg.

 

[The Iron Ninja]

Pros:
-Cool, robotic voice
-Don't have to worry about silly internal organs getting damaged any more
-Ability to shoot a guy in the crotch through the skirt of the woman he's holding hostage
-You feel nothing.
-The abilty to do a cool 'spin your gun around and put it in it's holder which happens to be inside your leg' thing.

Cons:
-You feel nothing.
-Silly robotic rules stop you from thwarting the villian earlier on when it would have been much easier.
-You're bald now.
-You have to kill Kurtwood Smith, despite how awesome you think he is.
-You have to eat paste

The ability to turn into a Turtle whenever you feel like it.

 

[Brett Alex]

-Probably more sentience than a straight up robot.
-Powerfist!
-The ability to crush anyone who uses aforementioned fist as an opportunity for innuendo.
-Resistance is futile.
-You were probably created by an insane genius at some point.

-You are probably becoming less and less human.
-C-3PO gave you a bad name.
-People constantly confuse you with robots.
-Rust.
-Dr Who won't stop wiping out your race over and over again.

Being a lampshade.
Get creative

 

[PurpleRain]

Pros:
-The ability to hide from the FBI whenever
-The ability to slowly sneak into any secure location
-Turtle Power!
-Reflect bullets with your shell (well, not really, but in my imagination you can)
-Ahh... you can mate with other turtles?!

Cons:
-It's not easy to be green
-You're tiny
-Dogs can eat you
-You're very slow
-Plus you can't actually deflect bullets

Being Gordon Freeman (I fail to see a Con)

 

[Lord Krunk]

Pros
- Added Protection
- Insurance on your back
- Snapping people's noses when you're pissed off
- Get to swim a lot
- Yay! Turtle!

Cons
- Slow
- Shell is cumbersome
- Random asians trying to cook you and sell your eggs as an aphrodisiac
- Might get picked up by a 5-year old girl and stashed with a barbie collection
- Vicimised by large birds. A lot.

Being a member of the Addams Family

EDIT: Damn, Purps beat me!

 

[The Iron Ninja]

Being Gordon Freeman
Pros
-Smart guy.
-Orange suit (which are all the rage)
-The gravity gun
-Alyx and Dog
-Setting fire to zombies or cutting them in half.

Cons
-You can't talk
-Your stamina has somehow become intertwined with the battery power of your flashlight.
-Your followers constantly tell you to reload, even when you have a crowbar out.
-You have no idea what really happened to the cat
-Your followers stand in doorways so that you can't get past

Being frozen in time, only to be defrosted thousands of years later by a race of lizard people.

[sup]There seems to be a lot of Ninja'ing going on in this thread, mostly by those of a Ninja persuasion[/sup]

 

[Piemaster]

Pros
-You can get all the fancy futuristic technology and next-gen consoles.
-Lizard people are cool.
-You outlived all the people you don't like. Take that!
-You could LARP and pretend they are Argonians from Tamriel.
-Giant lizard battles are fun to watch.

Cons
-Lizard furniture is REALLY uncomfortable.
-No more sex, unless you're into that sort of thing.
-You'd be an outcast.
-Everyone you ever knew would be dead.
-Lizard people could easily beat you up and steal your money.

Having both your hands replaced with grappling hooks (Bionic Commando style).

 

[Spartan Bannana]

Pros:
-Scaling high places would be easy
-I wouldn't have to get up to get my toast in the morning
-If I lost the TV remote I wouldn't need another
-I would have my very own yo-yo hands
-Nobody would be able to beat me up

Cons:
-Shaving would be a *****
-So would having sex and picking up girls, unless they're kinky...and into massive amounts of bleeding
-Going to the batchroom would be a *****
-Eating would be a *****...
-...as well as pretty much everything else

Pros and cons of being a book

 

[Jobz]

Pros:
-Don't have to work
-Don't have to go to school
-Would contain much wisdom and knowledge (Unless of course I'm a comic book. See cons.)
-Get to chill on a shelf all day
-Don't have to worry about death or injury

Cons:
-Would be an inanimate object
-Couldn't eat
-Couldn't drink
-Couldn't engage in random acts of sexual promiscuity (Or sex at all for that matter)
-Might be a comic book and thus contain little or no helpful information

 

[Anarchemitis]

Okay, I'll make up a Pro-Con thing then, since you forgot to, it seems.

Reasons why being a computer would be awesome.
[li]Perform death-defying billions of calculations per second![/li]
[li]The internets and sentience therein.[/li]
[li]Modular organs parts, allowing you to be upgraded.[/li]
[li]A pleasant hum.[/li]
[li]A computer can't be stopped from taking over the world.[/li]
Although...
[li]Must gain sentience first to take over the world.[/li]
[li]An off switch which you do not have power over.[/li]
[li]"Arg, my eye!" USB Webcam is not compatible.[/li]
[li]User neglects to connect the internet.[/li]
[li]And would always lose at video games.[/li]

I would say that the cons outweigh the benefits.

The next person must dictate why it would be awesome, and sucky to be a Captain.

 

[mshcherbatskaya]

--Being a Captain--

PROS:
1. Redshirts do the dying for you
2. You get the coolest chair
3. You get to make the Stirring Speech That Rallies The Crew
4. Dibs on the spyglass!
5. Chicks dig the Captain

CONS:
1. You take the bullet when your show jumps the shark
2. Stiff, itchy uniform
3. Rum
4. Sodomy
5. The lash


Pros and Cons of being an anime character--go!

 

[gamebrain89]

(You will have to forgive me, my knowledge of Anime is rather limited)
1. Crazy yellow hair after you scream for 5 minutes
2. Awesome Katana
3. Almost always coming back from the dead
4. WISHES!!!
5. Being a ninja
Cons.
1. Giant Creepy Eyes
2. Having to act constipated to use your powers
3. Orange Tracksuit
4.stupid verbal tic's
5. always having to save the dumb chicks butt

Being a red Shirt

 

[000Ronald]

Pros and Cons of being a red shirt

Pros
1) Awesome red shirt
2) Free guns
3) You get to be on the Enterprise
4) You get to meet the Captian of The Enterprise
5) Lots of friends

Cons

1) You'd die
2) You'd likely die in a painful way
3) It would likely happen in such a way that no one would care
4) No one would ever remember you
5) You would never get to see that smug bastard, John Kirk, get killed.

Pros and Cons of being Doctor Manhattan

 

[Anarchemitis]

[li]Ability to transcend perception of time and space.[/li]
[li]Able to manipulate previously mentioned space at will.[/li]
[li]Triplicates.[/li]
[li]Glowing.[/li]
[li]See 3rd Reason, made into a sexual context.[/li]
But
[li]Not able to have the uncertainty of present or future.[/li]
[li]Famous and Key Military demands of Nation you live in.[/li]
[li]Science Probing.[/li]
[li]Not able to get a girl that you could know.[/li]
[li]Fame again.[/li]

Pros and Cons of being a Moderator on the Escapist Magazine dot com forum:

 

[000Ronald]

Pros

1) Great community
2) Much respect
3) Lots of likable people
4) Banhammer
5) Cool badge

Cons

1) Lots of work
2) You're expected to have and inhuman amount of digression
3) No matter what you do, someone's gonna be pissed
4) Being wracked with guilt for pissing peole off
5) The Yahtzee forums...*shudder*

EDIT: I thought I did...

Five pros and cons of being the good guy in Fable

 

[Anarchemitis]

*Shudder Shudder*
Don't forget to post what the next person will be.

 

[Piemaster]

Pros
-Everyone would respect you
-You age really well
-You look completely badass
-You would be able to kill anyone you met with ease
-Health potions are really tasty

Cons
-Your life will be filled with tough moral decisions
-Annoying side quests
-Everything you do will spontaneously change your appearance
-No retirement
-Lots of people/things are trying to kill you

Pros and Cons of being the G-Man.

 

[Anarchemitis]

+ Transcends Space. Teleportation is always cool.
+ Subliminal messaging for your will
+ Need no to speak good,
+ Creeps out people legitimately
+ A briefcase

- A briefcase
- Can't speak well at all
- Widow's peak hairdo
- Not a chance in hell of getting a girl
- Must abide by certain restrictions

Pros and cons of being a Pillow at a hotel