PinkAngelKitty said:
3. You have to make a move. People argue this a lot. Generally it is believed that men always have to make the first move. Cosmopolitan magazine polled a bunch of men and found them to be almost unanimous in their belief that men must make the first move, and that women just seem desperate if they make the first move. I don't buy that. I think all is fair in love and war and love especially. It's a level playing field, especially this early in the game, so if you are interested and engaged in a person's company make a move! It's always funny to watch young teenagers try to flirt because both parties are too afraid to make a move. Making a move isn't complicated either. There are varying levels and usually you start out with a lower tier move such as the infamous arm touch. "Hahahaha that was a really good joke, Steve! while at the same time reaching out and touching their arm lightly and briefly to place emphasis on "good". Intentionally touching someone (obviously in a non-invaisive non-creepy way) sends all kinds of subconscious signals so it's a good way to let the person know that you are interested. And letting them know that you are interested is important, because it makes them feel more comfortable letting you know that they are interested as well. After a few of these lower tier moves are successful, you usually go for a more direct approach of say... suggesting to hang out another time in the near future or the exchanging of phone numbers. Some people think this is too much for the first time they meet someone but honestly how are you going to keep in contact?
That's something I wonder about. I'm not into the whole touchy-feely thing unless I really trust a person, so what would consist of a nice 'move' then? The whole 'make a move' thing is probably the thing that confuses me the most. I can smile, I'm confident, be funny and all that or at least I
try to be (afterall, there is never a guarantee that your flirting partner likes your style or sense of humour). But when it comes to that move-spiel, I'm at a loss.
Isn't just asking to do something together once enough? I mean, that shows a certain interest in the other person, although I do see that he or she would not be sure if that would mean a romantic or friendly interest.
So how to make that difference without resorting to touching? All the touching I know and could do is giving someone a pat on the back or laying my hand on a shoulder.