Robert Rath said:
military games... Considering that these games came from a genre that fetishizes realism
You make some interesting points, but I'm really not sure your base assumption is at all valid. The problem is that you appear to be lumping a whole pile of very different games and trying to force them all into a single genre that doesn't actually exist. There is no such thing as a "military game" genre. Most of the games you list are FPSes, and more specifically the sort usually termed "modern military shooters", in other words a sub-genre that is specifically about having shooters that look somewhat realistic. But then you also talk about Endgame: Syria, which obviously isn't a shooter of any kind. So what exactly is this "military games" genre you're talking about? Why are games like This War of Mine, Hearts of Iron and Panzer General, all in very different genres but undeniably military games, not included? Or if you're trying to limit things only to modern shooters, why is Endgame: Syria there at all?
It seems as though you wanted to make a point about a particular sub-genre exemplified by CoD, but then generalised it to everything related to anything military without really thinking about whether that generalisation was actually valid. Lots of military games address truths about war while including various degrees of realism. Not all of them do it from a first person perspective of one of the people doing the shooting, but that's far from the only perspective that matters. Look at Crusader Kings, for example, where going to war can result in people refusing to fight for you and potentially even rebelling, and there can be all kinds of political, cultural, and economic effects from your decisions of whether to fight or not. You may not be seeing the actual killing through someone's eyes, but there's an awful lot of truth about war right there.
The point is, you can't complain that games in a genre have a particular problem, but then hold up a game in a completely different genre as a better example, while completely ignoring all the other games in a whole pile of genres that cover the full spectrum of bad to good. If you want to talk about problems with modern military shooters, do that. If you want to talk about military games in general, ignoring the vast majority and depicting the flaws of one sub-genre as the flaws of all is not the way to do it.