Forgotten How She Feels

[HerefordEscapistMan]

Hi Guys,

I am in a very dark time with my girlfriend at the moment.
She does not know how she feels about me but when I look into her eyes and hear the way she speaks to me it is clear to me that she is still in love with me.

Does anyone know how I can remind her of how she truly feels because I love this girl more than anyone in the world.

Any help is appreciated.

Thanks

Hereford Escapist Man.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Sounds a bit like wishful thinking on your part.

She'll say what she means, especially when it comes to love and relationship. Maybe because you love her so much you just want her to reciprocate the feelings.
Few questions~ How old are you? How long have you been together? Has she told you this or are just second guessing?
Have you tried talking to her?

If she has fallen out of love then there's very little you can do I'm afraid. You may have to grant her time apart from you to see if that helps but I'm doubtful.
Sometimes one of the parties just feel like the spark has gone from the relationship. Sucks it can't be a mutual thing but you need to speak to her and go from there.

 

[Brown Cap]

Give it one more go.

Buy her some flowers, do something special for her. Show her how thoughtful and awesome you are. If she feels no different, it's over, but she might turn around all the same.

 

[Galletea]

Does anyone know how I can remind her of how she truly feels because I love this girl more than anyone in the world.

You need to talk this out instead of pretending she has just forgotten that she loves you. It doesn't work like that. If she's bringing this up now then there have been doubts in her mind for a while. Sit down together and find out what she really feels and why. Think about your relationship. How often do you go out? Do you find you have a very set routine? Do you share responsibility for things?
Relationships can get stale for any number of reasons, you might need to change your lifestyle a little, bring back some spontaneity perhaps. You do need to be realistic. If she has made up her mind that she just doesn't love you, then you will need to accept that and move on. It is hard but it is better to be single than stuck in a loveless relationship.

 

[HerefordEscapistMan]

Sounds a bit like wishful thinking on your part.

She'll say what she means, especially when it comes to love and relationship. Maybe because you love her so much you just want her to reciprocate the feelings.
Few questions~ How old are you? How long have you been together? Has she told you this or are just second guessing?
Have you tried talking to her?

If she has fallen out of love then there's very little you can do I'm afraid. You may have to grant her time apart from you to see if that helps but I'm doubtful.
Sometimes one of the parties just feel like the spark has gone from the relationship. Sucks it can't be a mutual thing but you need to speak to her and go from there.

I am 19 years old and we have been going out nearly 9 months now, yeah we talk regularly

 

[HerefordEscapistMan]

Hi again Guys, sorry I haven't replied in so long it has just been such an ordeal but needless to say Me and my Girlfriend; Louise are back together after all this time and lets just say what she did shocked her into realizing how she feels about me and I am not going to say what shocked her but it was a horrendous thing but we should be alright and I just want to thank everyone here on the escapist forums, you guys have been a big help.

 

[Lilani]

Hi again Guys, sorry I haven't replied in so long it has just been such an ordeal but needless to say Me and my Girlfriend; Louise are back together after all this time and lets just say what she did shocked her into realizing how she feels about me and I am not going to say what shocked her but it was a horrendous thing but we should be alright and I just want to thank everyone here on the escapist forums, you guys have been a big help.

I'm glad it worked out for you, but just know that you aren't always going to be right about her, and that it is never a good thing when you feel you know what is best for her. Only she should be the one deciding what is best for her. You can try and help her if you want, but in the end she always has the final say. Never, ever get yourself into the mindset that you know more about her than she does. Because that is when you start getting manipulative and trying to get her to do things she doesn't want to do. As Katatori-kun said, even if she really does feel the way you think she does, she has to realize that herself. You can't just say "Here, I know what's best for you." That is not only manipulative, but also very disrespectful to her. She's a human being, she has her own free will. And just because she isn't doing or feeling what you think she should doesn't mean she's wrong, or that you're right.

Again, I'm glad it worked out for you, but I would advise you to be more careful about these things next time. You should always be there to offer support, but never think that you can make decisions for her, or that you know what's better for her than she does. That isn't your place. Being in a relationship isn't about steering the other person where you think they should go. It's about being with them as they steer their way through life, and enjoying those turns with them. And if she wants space, then give her space. Any feelings or opinions you try to force out of her will be just that--forced. And if she herself doesn't feel those things, then there isn't a point in trying to get her to admit to them.

 

[HerefordEscapistMan]

Hi again Guys, sorry I haven't replied in so long it has just been such an ordeal but needless to say Me and my Girlfriend; Louise are back together after all this time and lets just say what she did shocked her into realizing how she feels about me and I am not going to say what shocked her but it was a horrendous thing but we should be alright and I just want to thank everyone here on the escapist forums, you guys have been a big help.

I'm glad it worked out for you, but just know that you aren't always going to be right about her, and that it is never a good thing when you feel you know what is best for her. Only she should be the one deciding what is best for her. You can try and help her if you want, but in the end she always has the final say. Never, ever get yourself into the mindset that you know more about her than she does. Because that is when you start getting manipulative and trying to get her to do things she doesn't want to do. As Katatori-kun said, even if she really does feel the way you think she does, she has to realize that herself. You can't just say "Here, I know what's best for you." That is not only manipulative, but also very disrespectful to her. She's a human being, she has her own free will. And just because she isn't doing or feeling what you think she should doesn't mean she's wrong, or that you're right.

Again, I'm glad it worked out for you, but I would advise you to be more careful about these things next time. You should always be there to offer support, but never think that you can make decisions for her, or that you know what's better for her than she does. That isn't your place. Being in a relationship isn't about steering the other person where you think they should go. It's about being with them as they steer their way through life, and enjoying those turns with them. And if she wants space, then give her space. Any feelings or opinions you try to force out of her will be just that--forced. And if she herself doesn't feel those things, then there isn't a point in trying to get her to admit to them.

You raise good points there and after all that has happened over the past month or so has made me rethink what I think I know and lets just say I don't feel the same as I did when I wrote the first message on this thread, I don't think I know what is best for her anymore and like you said it is for her to decide.