Fortune Cookie Fortunes. The Funny, Scary, and Stupid.

[Zyxx]

"Foot". That's all it said. Foot.
That will haunt me until the day I die, when I finally learn what it means too late to save myself or anyone else.

captcha: "giant bunny rabbit". Giant bunny rabbit...foot? Oh dear. So much for sleep.

 

[direkiller]

"Show respect to your Police." . . .in bed.

I've always wondered why "Police" was capitalized.

I think they were using a word replace program and whoever made the list capitalized it,
because that fortune works with mom,dad,elder,ecd. So i have a feeling it was reused en-mass

 

[Sonic Doctor]

I remember about a week ago when my family ate at a Chinese restaurant, we were served a small plate of fortune cookies after our meal. Every single fortune read "you will suffer a heavy loss in the future".

A few minutes later, we received the bill!

Interesting(though it sounds like you were trying to make a bad joke). Well I've never had to look at a bill afterwards, because every Chinese restaurant I've been too has been a pay before the meal kind of place.

The one I've been going to recently, for Sunday lunch, including a drink and drink refills it is $6.99 total after taxes.

Snip

Okay, that was too distracting and bizarre.

Twice recently I didn't even get a fortune. The cookie was empty Wth.

A friend of mine on two of the days he had Chinese without me, both fortune cookies he got had no fortunes as well.

I got a fortune cookie that said, "Look Out, Behind You..."

and when I turned around I saw my Dad, who I hadn't seen in like 4 months at that point...<.<

Was that a real fortune, or was it one of those sappy things were where family remember members insert their made fortune before you get the cookie?

Edit: Crossed out the errors, added the corrections, and left the errors to show how I shouldn't type late at night.

best one i ever had was "money,sex and alcohol, only too much is enough".

i still have that one in me wallet.

Sometimes I wonder if fortune cookie companies at times have an employee that secretly adds some fortunes of his own to the cookies.

"Foot". That's all it said. Foot.
That will haunt me until the day I die, when I finally learn what it means too late to save myself or anyone else.

captcha: "giant bunny rabbit". Giant bunny rabbit...foot? Oh dear. So much for sleep.

No no, what it meant was that little did you know, but you had just eaten bits of someones foot in the food you at.

"What did you eat," someone might have asked. And the fortune had answered the question.

 

[lord.jeff]

"Money is the root of all evil and a man needs his roots"

I'm not certain but I think the cookie was telling me to be greedy and evil.

 

[Sonic Doctor]

"Money is the root of all evil and a man needs his roots"

I'm not certain but I think the cookie was telling me to be greedy and evil.

I'm guessing so. Considering my second one in my OP, that one felt kind of evil sounding as well, because "Keep your plans secret for now" just seems like something I should read it and then start laughing manically.

Considering that after church on Sunday, my friends usually go to either the Chinese place or a pizza place called Chicago's(that name is a lie, cause they don't serve deep-dish pizza), I'm probably going to get another fortune some Sunday soon.

Here's hoping that it says "Don't wait for Lucky", cause I'm really getting tired of waiting for him to show so I can get on with my plans.

 

[lord.jeff]

a pizza place called Chicago's(that name is a lie, cause they don't serve deep-dish pizza), I'm probably going to get another fortune some Sunday soon.

Hearing that pisses me off more then it should.

 

[Sonic Doctor]

a pizza place called Chicago's(that name is a lie, cause they don't serve deep-dish pizza), I'm probably going to get another fortune some Sunday soon.

Hearing that pisses me off more then it should.

It is a buffet style of pizza place. The pizza is okay, but considering how much more I like the Chinese place my friends go to, I wish they would just go there every Sunday, or at least some place new. New and cheap. The Chinese place at total is $6.99, but when we go to Chicago's it is $10. I could go to a better pizza place and get a whole pizza for less than that and it would last for three or four meals instead of just one lunch.