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Barbas

ExQQxv1D1ns
Oct 28, 2013
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[HEADING=1]- FORUM FICTION -[/HEADING]​



* * *​

Welcome to the very first instalment of Forum Fan Fiction. I am your host, Barbas the Daedra. Join me, dear reader, as I reach into the wailing mass that is The Escapist's writing community and pluck out the most succulent morsels of prose from the maelstrom of the unpublishable. Speaking of meaty morsels, today we have a special treat in store from a our favourite connoisseur of memes and Mexican cuisine. Please welcome [user]PsychicTaco115[/user].

[hr]

So, Taco. Let's not beat around the bush here.
Nice one.

You wrote this short story.
Indeed.

For God's sake, why?
It's weird because the idea just came to me and wouldn't stop bouncing around in my head until I put it on paper. So I did and this non-Rule 34 fan-fic was born.

Was this a one-off or do you feel that there's more yet to be unleashed from the tortured depths of your soul?
I feel that writing this has helped give me some confidence in writing more. Any future writing most likely won't be fan-fiction but you never know!

Superb. Thanks for the submission.
Thanks Barbas and remember: browse dank memes responsibly.

[hr]

[HEADING=1]Five Nights At Freddy's[/HEADING]​
When Laura heard how much he was offering, she knew she couldn't refuse this dare. Not only was the amount just enough to cover her rent for this month but she could even buy a Christmas present for herself this year. It had been a long time since she had felt that particular luxury.
"So let me get this straight," she said "All I have to do is spend the night at some old, run-down kiddy place? Sounds straight out of a bad horror movie."
"Well, that IS kinda the point. I wouldn't want to make this easy for you, would I? Besides, I hear that this place is haunted. No one knows why but I swear I've heard some people talk about it like that."
Laura rolled her eyes in disbelief
"Haunted? Really? I thought we grew out of that crap in middle school. The only ghosts that I thought were real were the ones that were on Scooby-Doo."
"So you'll do it?"
"If you're that eager to get rid of money that quickly, of course I will; I could use the money more than the liquor store. So what exactly is this place called?"
"It's called Freddy Fazbear's Pizza."

* * *​

Laura looked into her backpack one last time. A pillow, a blanket, some granola bars, a flashlight and a copy of The Two Towers should help the night go by quickly. She took the backpack and started to make her way towards the pizzeria. Laura began to think how she had used to go there for birthdays when she was younger. She had always thought the animatronics there were a little creepy but the play area, pizza and birthday cake were more than enough to make up for it. It had been somewhat of a tradition to go there for her birthday dinner but one year, they had just stopped. Laura recalled that when she had asked her mom why they didn't go, her mom's face turned white and simply said that they couldn't. That memory was almost 10 years old and Laura hadn't thought of it that much until now.

Looking up the address, it turned out that the place was only about a 20 minute walk away. As she walked up to the building, she began to see just how run-down the place really was. The sign outside was stained a sickly yellowish color and the trash can by the entrance was almost over-flowing with garbage. Laura tried to peer inside the building but they were darkly tinted as well as being covered in scratches and scuff marks. Knowing that the front door was almost assuredly locked, Laura went to the back of the building to try and find another way in.
A back door was found and looked like the ticket inside. Laura found the key under the mat, a simple-looking key with an elaborate key-chain. The words "FREDDY FAZBEAR'S PIZZA" was written in big, bright yellow words on the key-chain and while it looked ornate, it had obviously been passed through many hands of the employees and watchmen. Laura put the key into the lock and turned it, unlocking the door. As it opened, a long creaking noise from the hinges pierced the silence of the night.

Stepping into the dark building, Laura got the flashlight from her backpack and turned it on. The light illuminated the claustrophobic corridors of the pizzeria and a cockroach scattered when the light shone down on it. As she searched for a light switch, Laura decided to look around the perimeter before settling in for the night. To the right of the doorway, a single poster of an animatronic bear hung on the wall while the floor was littered with paper and junk. Laura recognized the bear as the titular Freddy Fazbear and a small smile crept to her lips. It had been so long since she had seen something that made her long for the carefree days of childhood. To her left, the hallway continued with kid drawings hanging on the wall. Laura walked up to it and one of them in particular caught her eye. The picture showed a little girl and Freddy playing with presents in the background. Laura could have sworn that she had drawn something similar to that and without even thinking, she had taken the picture from the wall and put it in her bag. Even if it wasn't hers, she doubted that the true owner would raise an objection.

Continuing down the hall, Laura opened the door on her left and peeked inside. Although the flashlight didn't properly illuminate the whole room, Laura could tell quickly that it was just a supply closet. All of the usual things found in closets were in there; a vacuum, some small brooms, trash bags and various other cleaning materials. The one thing that Laura found odd was the almost overwhelming amounts of bleach inside the closet. There must have been ten bottles at the very least in there, if not more.
Moving forward, Laura found herself in the main dining room area of the restaurant and could almost see the entirety of the main dining area. All the tables had party hats on them, as well as a thin layer of dust on all of them. The white table covering was also covered in stains that came in a wide variety of colors, sizes and shapes. Laura could almost smell the cheap, cardboard-texture pizza as she walked through the dining room. The room brought back a lot of memories of both good and bad from her childhood. She realized that for the most part, she really did not look back on her childhood; instead, she was always focused on the future and never taken the time to reflect on all the changes and challenges that people make through their life. It was odd that this was all happening now at a run-down pizza place but better late than never.

The main stage in the back of the dining was the focal point of the whole restaurant. There, Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie and Chica were all on stage. As Laura walked up to the stage, she felt that all three were looking straight past her. While all of them looked fine from a distance, she noticed the rust starting to come up in the feet and sockets of the animatronics. Ticket stubs littered the area around the stage and all of the animatronics looked like they had been through years of abuse.
The back of the stage was where all the spare and extra parts for the animatronics were stored. Heads, endoskeleton parts and other assorted mechanical appendages littered the area. Laura could see that many of these parts had been used before; they were covered in rust and scratches. Had they been used in the animatronics before or were they merely older parts that hadn't been trashed yet?
Walking back outside the storage area, to Laura's left she saw the entrance to Pirate's Cove. Inside, she spied a large circular stage with a purple curtain to complete the set. A small sign stood in front of it, and although it had seen better days, Laura could easily read the message written in bold, black letters "Sorry! Out of Order." Other than that, the room was empty and had nothing else to show.
Going to her right, Laura peered down the other hallway. She could see posters that showed all the animatronics smiling and inviting children to come play with them. Cobwebs hung in the rafters and swayed gently as the light passed over them. A small rules poster hung close to the posters as well. Laura's face turned to disgust as she read rule four and could see a use for all of the bleach after all.
As Laura continued, the next door she came to was locked. Try as she might, the door would not budge. Pressing her ear against the door, Laura thought she could hear something moving inside but assumed it was a rat or more likely, just her imagination. She gave the door one last kick but it would not move. Frustrated, Laura decided to cut her losses and move on.

The next hallway was back near the front of the building and led to the bathrooms. The typical bathroom necessities were there; toilets, sinks, paper towel dispensers and such. With the entirety of the building now explored, Laura decided to find an area to make camp for the night. She recalled seeing a central room near the hallway she had first come into when entering the building. Heading back, she had noticed that the place was unnaturally clean for a children's play place. Very few people must have come through here if anyone at all did.
Walking into the small room, Laura took her backpack off and tried to make it more cozy for the night. After placing her pillow and blanket down on the floor, she took out her copy of The Two Towers and started reading by the light of her cell phone. After reading for a few minutes, she decided to call it quits for the night and get to sleep. She laid down on the floor, pulled the blanket up to her chin and closed her eyes.

* * *​

A long, piercing scraping sound was what woke Laura from her slumber. Groggily, she reached for her phone to check the time but the battery had died. Scrambling, she grabbed the flashlight and flicked the switch but that was dead too. Cursing under her breath, Laura realized that she was beginning to hyperventilate. She forced herself to take slow, deep breaths to calm herself down. She was the only one in the building, after all. Something must have just fallen from a shelf or something. She would go check the area, find nothing, and collect the rent money first thing tomorrow morning.
As she walked out of the room and down the hallway, she looked at the wall and immediately did a double-take. On the wall, pictures of a crudely drawn child crying hung. Next to the pictures, the words IT'S ME were written next to them. Without a light, the words looked like they were drawn on with blood. Laura couldn't believe her eyes. She rubbed them, blinked and did almost anything she could to make the things she was seeing disappear but they would not.

*SCRRRRRRRREEEEEAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH*

The sound Laura heard earlier snapped her out of the trance. Someone was inside the building with her and she had to hide. To her, there was only one place that she could hide in: the animatronic storage area. She ran there and as she passed the main stage, she could have sworn that one of the animatronic heads turned towards her. She entered the room and what she saw inside the room caused her to scream in horror.
All of the spare heads were looking right at her. Some of them had their mouths open in a broken smile, others had their mouths open to show off all the metallic edges.
Before Laura could do anything, she felt something grip her arm. With a sudden jerk forward, she felt her arm pop out of her socket and screamed in pain. After that, her survival instincts leapt into action. As she was being dragged forward by the mysterious force, she kicked, screamed and tried her best to wriggle out of the grip but it was no use. The force that gripped her arm was too tight to get out of.
"PLEASE STOP PLEASE I'LL PAY YOU DON'T HURT ME PLEASE PLEA-"
The attacker stopped suddenly and slowly turned around. As her eyes adjusted, she could finally make out the identity of her attacker. It was Freddy himself. His cold, dead animatronic eyes looked deep into Laura's and began to move again. Laura was in such shock that she couldn't even fight back. Her senses came rushing back as Freddy moved towards one of the animatronic heads. He picked one up and then a deep, guttural laugh came out. Laura could have sworn that it sounded like a child's laughter.
The next thing Laura knew, her back was forced onto the wall while Freddy held her neck in one of his paws while the other still had the spare head. The head then slowly moved toward Laura's head.
"NO WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING PLEASE NO WH-"
The opening of the head went onto Laura's head and was slowly lowered down. Laura's mouth was quickly filled with wires and her screams of terror were replaced with whimpers of fear. As the mask continued, she felt deep scratches cut her face. Suddenly, the mask stopped. She could see out of the two eye-holes the mask had and could see Freddy. His own eyes were missing and the only thing that Laura could see were two dark, empty pits. More pressure was added to the head and Laura could almost feel her eyes pop. A deep, cracking sound pierced the air and Laura knew that her skull had been fractured. Blood came seeping out of her eyes in torrents. The last thing Laura heard was the sound of a child's high-pitched scream of terror.

* * *​


It was a few weeks later that a missing person report was filed for Laura. After hearing that the last likely spot Laura was seen was at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, the CEO denied any wrong-doing. To appease the complaints from parents, the management decided to hire a night watchman to prevent similar cases from occurring.

If you have any short stories of your own that you'd like to submit, you can PM [user]Barbas[/user]. Until we meet again, dear reader, look to the stars!
 

VanQ

Casual Plebeian
Oct 23, 2009
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An interesting idea for a thread and an interesting short story too. I haven't actually played 5NAF but have been meaning to. Maybe threads like this will finally get me the motivation I need to finish that SAO story I was writing. Probably not. But now it's on my mind.

A question though, where exactly on the forums do you post fanfics? RP?
 

DarkRawen

Awe-Inspiringly Awesome
Apr 20, 2010
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VanQ said:
An interesting idea for a thread and an interesting short story too. I haven't actually played 5NAF but have been meaning to. Maybe threads like this will finally get me the motivation I need to finish that SAO story I was writing. Probably not. But now it's on my mind.

A question though, where exactly on the forums do you post fanfics? RP?
I'd assume, since it says to send it via PM, that you'd send it via PM. Either that, or some writing group that may or may not exist. :p



OT: Huh, well that's certainly a thing to post. Not saying the fanfic is bad (it's pretty good, IMO), but it sounds like you could get some pretty fucked up submissions easily. (Not that I would think such a thing about fellow escapists >_>). I mean, some woman getting her head crushed by electronic teddies is one thing, but what if kissing is mentioned? Or even sex?! :p

More seriously, 's interesting, I wouldn't send anything I've written in (not that I write fanfics, but still) but I can understand why some may want to, and reading what different people write is entertaining.
 

Barbas

ExQQxv1D1ns
Oct 28, 2013
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Marter said:
I really don't know if this belongs in User Reviews...
I plan to accept more or less anything that people have written and want to be shown (as long as it isn't Vatican-destroyingly inappropriate). Of course, I will also be including more feedback in future. Hopefully we can get more short stories into this bonewalker of a forum.



Er, no offense. How's your writing ability, by the way? I know you got the gramars and the spellings pretty good there, man!
 

Trivun

Stabat mater dolorosa
Dec 13, 2008
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I have original fiction and fanfiction that I've previously posted here but since seen it lost to the ether. I'll definitely be sending in some stuff though, once I'm home from work and have access to my own archives :)

Marter said:
I really don't know if this belongs in User Reviews...
Just wondering, Marter, would it be possible to pin this thread to the board of whichever forum it ultimately ends up resting in (assuming it gets moved from User reviews)? We do see this sort of thread every so often and they usually last a really short time before they get buried under whatever the hot topic of the day is, and it'd be nice to see something like this actually remain visible and a well-contributed-to part of the forums for once...
 

Marter

Elite Member
Legacy
Oct 27, 2009
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Yeah, this isn't a review and therefore can't stay here. I'll move it to Off-topic and as requested I'll pin it (for like a week), much like we've done for past community-made spotlights.
 

Redlin5_v1legacy

Better Red than Dead
Aug 5, 2009
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Nifty! O:

I'll have to dig around the old fanfics I have hiding in my hard drives and see if any are worth rewriting.
 

Trivun

Stabat mater dolorosa
Dec 13, 2008
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Just sent my entry across to Barbas, so we'll see what happens :)
 

Barbas

ExQQxv1D1ns
Oct 28, 2013
33,804
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Marter said:
Yeah, this isn't a review and therefore can't stay here. I'll move it to Off-topic and as requested I'll pin it (for like a week), much like we've done for past community-made spotlights.
It's going to be a series of reviews of stuff that was written by Escapists. I thought it'd be a nice addition to a forum that otherwise contains more or less nothing other than film and music reviews (though there were a few game reviews by Sigmund). They'll probably be posted irregularly, but it ultimately depends on how many user submissions I get. This one was a little short, but I plan to add more feedback in future installments like I said.

Bearing in mind that these'll hopefully get more refined, what happens to future Forum Fiction threads? Stickying them probably works for now, but there's only the one so far. Do you want me to PM the next one to you so you can decide what forum future ones should go in?

Trivun said:
Just sent my entry across to Barbas, so we'll see what happens :)
Ooh, thanks! I'll begin reading that shortly.
 

Marter

Elite Member
Legacy
Oct 27, 2009
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Barbas said:
It's going to be a series of reviews of stuff that was written by Escapists. I thought it'd be a nice addition to a forum that otherwise contains more or less nothing other than film and music reviews (though there were a few game reviews by Sigmund). They'll probably be posted irregularly, but it ultimately depends on how many user submissions I get. This one was a little short, but I plan to add more feedback in future installments like I said.

Bearing in mind that these'll hopefully get more refined, what happens to future Forum Fiction threads? Stickying them probably works for now, but there's only the one so far. Do you want me to PM the next one to you so you can decide what forum future ones should go in?
Yeah, PM it to me. Likely it'll just go here. You could create your own archive like I do for my reviews if you want to keep them all organized or w/e.
 

Barbas

ExQQxv1D1ns
Oct 28, 2013
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Marter said:
Yeah, PM it to me. Likely it'll just go here. You could create your own archive like I do for my reviews if you want to keep them all organized or w/e.
*Shrugs*. Sounds fair. I guess it's really 50/50 which forum it ends up in, so there's no point in forcing the issue with cannon and bayonets. I'll dig around for the film reviews archive you made later as a guideline for making an archive, 'cos that does make sense - particularly in the event of a massive system F.U.B.A.R. on my end (yay Scotland!). I'll probably put it in a group rather than a thread or...I need to think about that; I can feel that my neurons aren't firing right.
 

TheYellowCellPhone

New member
Sep 26, 2009
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Can someone explain this to me again what this thread is for? Is it more about posting fiction or critiquing it? Or does it not really matter what you do with it so long as you read it?

Also resubmitting everything through The Escapist's forum format is bad. While the word limit is generous and it does feature italics, bolded text and underlining, it's really not intended to be a novelists word typing program, it was intended as a video game forum. Posting Google Docs links instead of putting everything behind a spoiler box is going to be a lot better, in my stuck up opinion.
 

TheYellowCellPhone

New member
Sep 26, 2009
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Caramel Frappe said:
TheYellowCellPhone said:
Can someone explain this to me again what this thread is for? Is it more about posting fiction or critiquing it? Or does it not really matter what you do with it so long as you read it?
I believe it's for submitting your fan fiction so Barbas will later on update the OP, showing off everyone's story.

So far I know a few people (including myself) have done so, yet it'd be cool if many more joined in. I bet many would read the updated stories edited into this thread's OP. We can also criticism em, but honestly? Unless you're civil about it, I can see that rubbing people off the wrong way. Feel free to criticize mine when it comes through though... I am used to it lol.
Okay, that's sort of the idea I had. This thread seems like a pretty tentative experiment.
 

Barbas

ExQQxv1D1ns
Oct 28, 2013
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TheYellowCellPhone said:
Google Docs, eh? Thanks, I'll look into that. Posting it all in spoilers isn't ideal, I have to admit. Tentative is about right, but also quietly confident. Hopefully it'll work.