Friends, games, and choice.

[FancyNick]

Hello there escapists. I've been a long time lurker on this website but I have only just recently made this account and this will be my first post on said account. Please be brutally honest.

So on to the topic. I have been having this problem recently with my friends and gaming so I thought this was the best place to ask. It started out with a minor confrontation that I didn't think much of at the time. My friend begged me to get Guild Wars 2 and play with him. I did in the end and I made a big furry mechanic guy. I played a bit and found myself getting increasingly bored with it. He was into it a lot more than me and by my third day of playing the game he hit 30 something while I was 6. Now due to the game's level system it wasn't much of an issue but I was just tired of it. Not much for MMO's I guess. Then he kept asking me to play and, as I was bored and had a whole steam library of games to finish anyway, I said no. He said I didn't give it a chance and was being a hypocrite. Looking back, he was right. I didn't give it a chance really but it just felt like pulling teeth. Then he kept questioning me until I wrote enough for a paragraph in steam chat explaining why I just didn't enjoy the game like he did. Whatever, we both got over it in a week and we still play together. Other games of course. However, now I have a different friend doing the same thing with Black ops 2. Saying I didn't give it a chance and that I was going into it hating it. I have played enough for a prestige and a half and I have played all COD games from World at War up until now. Again, I was bored of it all. I played enough of these games and I wasn't a competitive gamer to start with. I only got it to play with my friends in the first place. So I started to take a bit of offense to this. Can't I play other games that I find more fun without getting harassed over and over again? It's not like he just says "alright, maybe we could play something else." I tried offering other games to play but it's always Black Ops or "Too Bad." I then found myself retaliating in a negative way and when he'd ask me to play Blops I would use kinder words to say F off. I don't like this. I love my friends and I rather not lose or drift away from any of them over something so stupid. Now I find myself regretting saying no and feeling like a proper a-hole for possibly being over-dramatic about the whole affair. Then again, my friend takes pride in being a selfish jerk and uses it to define his whole personality.

Wow, you're a trooper if you made it through that wall and got here. Congrats. So my lovely escapists, what do you think about all this? Am I indeed being over-dramatic jerk-face and I should just suck it up and play or is my friend being stubborn and I should just play what I feel like? Maybe I shouldn't post this on internet forums and just get over it? I have no idea, that's why I am coming to you. Please be as honest as you can as I would like to resolve this problem with my friends and/or my way of thinking. Losing friends is not an option as we are all pretty friendly outside of this particular issue. Please leave your thoughts and thank you for your time.

 

[NinjaSniperAssassin]

Well, I sometimes play some games I'm not interested in with my friends (such as Blops), but in return they'll play what I want to play other times. If you tell them that you don't like Blops but you'll play with them sometimes they should understand, and that way when you ask them to play one of your games they might feel sufficiently guilty/obligated/whatever to play what you want. If they don't just stop playing games with them. If you're friends with them outside vidyagameland it shouldn't be that much of a problem.

 

[AWAR]

Change your steam status to offline and never get bothered again

 

[Jinxzy]

I'm just going to be brutally honest with you, no funny puns or jokes to lighten the mood. Your friend seems like a jerk, and really big jerk. From what you told me it seems like if you don't play the games he wants then it's not fun. Like you said "Then again, my friend takes pride in being a selfish jerk and uses it to define his whole personality." So you already know this. It seems like if he can't play the games he wants (or they want) they seem to guilt trip you into playing by saying "you're not giving this game a chance." Which seems like really shitty friends. Friendship should be 50/50 you both should play games that you like together, or play some of his game and then you pick one and switch every once and a while. Heck I'm not a big fan of Halo anymore but my 2 friends love halo so I bought it to play with them and they in turn play a game they don't care for just to hang out and have fun. If you guys are playing a game and not having fun then whats the point? I mean games are for fun, you should enjoy them.

Cod is just Cod and guild wars is for some people and others not so much. You guys are friends so he need to suck up some pride and let it go. If you can't have fun what's the point?

 

[SnowyGamester]

I know that feel, bro. A few hours of SWOTOR or LOL is more than enough to have me convinced they aren't for me, but there's always some titles my little group shares an interest in. You gotta find other things they like that you might like, or introduce them to stuff you like to play. If that doesn't work, I dunno, go do one of those 'sports' things I hear so much about instead. They sound...fun.

 

[Rip Van Rabbit]

OP, I had the same problem a few years back, so you aren't misunderstood here.

How did I personally deal with a friend nagging me to play every COD release after World at War? (I played that game online to death, so I was burned out on COD for good) You just have to reverse it on those kinds of people and treat them by the rules in which they treat you.

Suggest a game that you really wish to play, if they refuse, ask them why and keep persisting until you get a definitive answer. Then you can conclude with something along the lines of, "Do you see how it feels when you keep nagging me to play game XYZ? Now how is that fair?"

Well, that shut my friend up at some point.

---------

That's a dodgy strategy, but I would encourage a sincere talk about this with your friend. Set the record straight on what you feel, how his behavior rubs you up the wrong way and what you want to play. Get serious about it, because these minor things can have an impact on a friendship in the long run, even if something like choosing what game to play seems tangential at best, the fact that it incited an argument is evidence that it's becoming more of a negative force than acceptable.

Take your friend down a few pegs by getting real with him, keep the communication open and if he is a decent friend (underneath the jerk layer), then he'll understand.

Best of luck OP!

 

[FancyNick]

Wow, thanks for the advice guys. Following some of your advice I decided to talk to my friend and it seems we have come to a general understanding. He's a jerk sometimes but he's a good friend so don't think of him too harshly.

Anyway, I appreciate all the advice you guys have given me. You have been very kind and helpful. I think I'll enjoy it here.